{"id":111620,"date":"2020-11-13T14:46:14","date_gmt":"2020-11-13T11:46:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too\/"},"modified":"2020-11-13T14:46:14","modified_gmt":"2020-11-13T11:46:14","slug":"i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too\/","title":{"rendered":"#I cry at work \u2014 and you should too"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a27b3a8159a6\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a27b3a8159a6\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too\/#The_science_behind_crying\" >The science behind crying<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too\/#Why_it_feels_good\" >Why it feels good<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>#I cry at work \u2014 and you should too<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<div>\n                                Now you might be one of those super cool and collected people that never cry at work, but I\u2019m willing to admit my faults: I\u2019m a huge crybaby. While this is a tough thing to admit, I\u2019m convinced there are people out there who\u2019ve done the same.<\/p>\n<p>The last time I shed tears on the job was a few years ago. I was going through something very tough in my personal life and I broke down on a communal sofa in a packed WeWork in East London.<\/p>\n<p>Nobody said anything to set me off, it just h<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>ened \u2014 and let me tell you, they weren\u2019t pretty tears.<\/p>\n<p>I looked like something out of a horror film and I\u2019d definitely forgotten to wear waterproof mascara that day.<\/p>\n<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">[Read: <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">4 ridiculously easy ways you can be more eco-friendly<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">]<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p>As I gathered myself and darted to the bathroom to try and regain my dignity I was struck by <span id=\"urn:enhancement-74c8f24c\">peoples<\/span>\u2018 reaction \u2014 or lack thereof.<\/p>\n<p>Some <span id=\"urn:enhancement-c518df8e\">people<\/span> stared but mostly <span id=\"urn:enhancement-cb7fcf58\">everyone<\/span> ignored me. Maybe they were afraid to pry, maybe they didn\u2019t want to interfere, or who knows, maybe they thought it was better to just let me be.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I\u2019m aware that sobbing at <span id=\"urn:enhancement-97daa5f5\">work<\/span> wasn\u2019t one of my proudest moments \u2014 but I have often wondered why I felt so embarrassed when the truth is, I simply couldn\u2019t, or didn\u2019t want to, hold the tears in any longer. So, why do we cry at work, and why do we feel so weird about it?<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_science_behind_crying\"><\/span>The science behind crying<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>On the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-e125a25a\">surface<\/span>, the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-166af934\"><a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/sciencee\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"5\" title=\"Science\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">science<\/a><\/span> behind crying is pretty simple. We cry when we feel happy or sad. Tears are triggered by a <span id=\"urn:enhancement-95561aa9\">range<\/span> of feelings.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/time.com\/4254089\/science-crying\/#:~:text=But%20crying%20is%20more%20than,signal%20that%20others%20can%20see.\">this Time piece<\/a> which quotes Ad Vingerhoets, a <span id=\"urn:enhancement-c16db4d2\">professor<\/span> at Tilburg University in the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-a2dbbdc8\">Netherlands<\/span>, explains it well:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCrying is more than a <span id=\"urn:enhancement-eef16b3f\">symptom<\/span> of sadness. It\u2019s triggered by a <span id=\"urn:enhancement-fbdd072b\">range<\/span> of feelings \u2014 from empathy and surprise to anger and grief \u2014 and unlike those <span id=\"urn:enhancement-ef5c5200\">butterflies<\/span> that flap around invisibly when we\u2019re in love, tears are a signal that others can see. That insight is central to the newest thinking about the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-fe42ceb2\">science<\/span> of crying.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"post-image post-mediaBleed aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-featured_img wp-image-1327812 lazy\" alt=\"\" width=\"796\" height=\"585\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 796px) 100vw, 796px\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/Screen-Shot-2020-11-12-at-10.45.31-796x585.png\" data-lazy=\"true\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/Screen-Shot-2020-11-12-at-10.45.31-796x585.png 796w, https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/Screen-Shot-2020-11-12-at-10.45.31-280x206.png 280w, https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/Screen-Shot-2020-11-12-at-10.45.31-367x270.png 367w, https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/Screen-Shot-2020-11-12-at-10.45.31-184x135.png 184w, https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/Screen-Shot-2020-11-12-at-10.45.31-1592x1171.png 1592w\"\/><figcaption><a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/thenextweb.com\/growth-quarters\/2020\/11\/13\/i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too\/#\" data-url=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?url=https%3A%2F%2Fthenextweb.com%2Fgrowth-quarters%2F2020%2F11%2F13%2Fi-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too%2F&amp;via=thenextweb&amp;related=thenextweb&amp;text=Check out this picture on: The reasons why we\u2019re likely to cry depending on our age via\u00a0Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University.\" data-title=\"Share The reasons why we\u2019re likely to cry depending on our age via\u00a0Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University. on Twitter\" data-width=\"685\" data-height=\"500\" class=\"post-image-share popitup\" title=\"Share The reasons why we\u2019re likely to cry depending on our age via\u00a0Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University. on Twitter\"><i class=\"icon icon--inline icon--twitter--dark\"\/><\/a>The reasons why we\u2019re likely to cry depending on our age via\u00a0<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ad Vingerhoets, a professor at Tilburg University.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Scientists and thinkers have been fascinated by crying for centuries.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe Old Testament describes tears as the by-product of when the heart\u2019s material weakens and turns into water. Later, in Hippocrates\u2019 time, it was thought that the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-4bd3ba23\">mind<\/span> was the trigger for tears. A prevailing theory in the 1600s held that emotions \u2014 especially love \u2014 heated the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-453a934d\">heart<\/span>, which generated <span id=\"urn:enhancement-c6a23959\">water vapor<\/span> in <span id=\"urn:enhancement-7d74eac2\">order<\/span> to cool itself down. The heart vapor would then rise to the head, condense near the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-d51d58b4\">eyes<\/span> and escape as tears,\u201d Vingerhoets told Time.<\/p>\n<p>In 1662, Danish scientist Niels Stensen discovered that tears originated in the lacrimal gland. It was at this point that <span id=\"urn:enhancement-e2c80b02\">scientists<\/span> started to look at what possible evolutionary benefit could be conferred by water pouring out of our <span id=\"urn:enhancement-8f55d0e2\">eyes<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Since then, many more <span id=\"urn:enhancement-64dd8e73\">scientists<\/span> have come forward with their own theories. In 1985, biochemist William Frey said that crying was a way of removing toxic substances from our <span id=\"urn:enhancement-10362423\">blood<\/span> during times of <span id=\"urn:enhancement-597117d0\">stress<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>Other more plausible theories look at how tears can trigger bonding and connections between <span id=\"urn:enhancement-5237a32d\">humans<\/span>.\u00a0Using crying to bond on a primal level makes sense to me, but it seems to have an adverse effect in our modern working environment.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_it_feels_good\"><\/span>Why it feels good<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>I\u2019ve always felt ashamed of crying in public and I really don\u2019t know why, probably because of how I expect the people around me will react.<\/p>\n<p>However, it feels so nonsensical as I\u2019ve got absolutely no issues with laughing hysterically or even crying with laughter around coworkers \u2014 so why do I feel ashamed about shedding a few tears when I feel the need to?<\/p>\n<p>Some people will tell you that crying at <span id=\"urn:enhancement-a3dd4542\">work<\/span> is unprofessional \u2014 heck, it\u2019s even <em>more<\/em> frowned upon if you\u2019re a woman \u2014 but let me tell you something: we\u2019re all human and although some of us do it more often than others, we all cry \u2014 or are at least capable of doing so.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t choose to cry that day, it simply happened, and I felt better for it afterward \u2014 but I did feel like I had to apologize about somehow making other <span id=\"urn:enhancement-4f9f99bb\">people<\/span> feel uncomfortable.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\">\n<p dir=\"ltr\" lang=\"en\">Have you ever cried at work?<\/p>\n<p>\u2014 Yessi Bello-Perez (@yessibelloperez) <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/yessibelloperez\/status\/1321779669579038721?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw\">October 29, 2020<\/a>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Science tells us crying can makes us feel better. Crying for long periods of time <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.healthline.com\/health\/benefits-of-crying#pain-relief\">releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids<\/a>, otherwise known as <span id=\"urn:enhancement-5f0f9982\">endorphins<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>So, if crying is <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bbc.com\/future\/article\/20190814-benefits-of-crying-is-it-good-or-bad-for-you\">modestly cathartic<\/a> \u2014 and some <span id=\"urn:enhancement-1100372d\">experts<\/span> believe it triggers the same positive reaction you get after exercising \u2014 why should we stop ourselves from doing it at <span id=\"urn:enhancement-b6b7a4c9\">work<\/span>?<\/p>\n<p>Well, some anthropologists say it violates the so-called \u201c<a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.quickanddirtytips.com\/health-fitness\/mental-health\/how-to-hold-back-tears-and-not-cry\">display rules<\/a>,\u201d which is another fancy way of saying cultural norms for <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social<\/a>ization.<\/p>\n<p>According to a survey cited by Huffpost, <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/content.time.com\/time\/magazine\/article\/0,9171,2061242,00.html\">41% of women have cried at work<\/a> at some point in their <span id=\"urn:enhancement-de0d19dc\">careers<\/span>, compared to just 9% of men surveyed.<\/p>\n<p><span id=\"urn:enhancement-ee79e9e8\">Sheryl Sandberg<\/span>, Facebook\u2019s chief operating officer, has also admitted to shedding tears at <span id=\"urn:enhancement-e3f9fb6d\">work<\/span>.\u00a0In an <span id=\"urn:enhancement-d911378\">interview<\/span> with <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.businessinsider.com\/sheryl-sandberg-its-ok-for-women-to-cry-at-work-2013-5\">India\u2019s Mint newspaper,<\/a> she said, \u201cI don\u2019t really believe that we are one type of person, Monday through Friday, 9-to-5, and then a different type of person in the nights and weekends. I think we are, all of us, emotional beings and it\u2019s okay for us to share that emotion at <span id=\"urn:enhancement-8ce2a3fe\">work<\/span>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I think it\u2019s safe to say that, overall, we need to feel much more comfortable with expressing our emotions \u2014 and having someone as accomplished as Sandberg admitting to crying on the job is a positive step towards that.<\/p>\n<p>The COVID-19 pandemic may mean most us of will be working from home for the foreseeable <span id=\"urn:enhancement-e961e828\">future<\/span> and while we\u2019re of <span id=\"urn:enhancement-fd247671\">course<\/span> able to cry freely in the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-50c3f426\">privacy<\/span> of our <span id=\"urn:enhancement-e012d8f0\">homes<\/span>, I just hope we enjoy the same freedom to do so if and when we return to the <span id=\"urn:enhancement-e0d686ef\">office<\/span>.<\/p>\n<p>So my parting\u00a0<span id=\"urn:enhancement-d9dd3184\">advice<\/span> to you is this: If you need to cry, cry. Crying is not a reflection of who you are at <span id=\"urn:enhancement-851d8cd8\">work<\/span> but merely an expression of your feelings at one given moment in time.<\/p>\n<p class=\"c-post-pubDate\">\n                                    Published November 13, 2020 \u2014 11:46 UTC\n                                <\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><script data-src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js#xfbml=1&amp;appId=378011798897423&amp;version=v2.6\" id=\"socialSrcFacebook\" type=\"text\/template\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more like this article, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/technology\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Technology category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/thenextweb.com\/growth-quarters\/2020\/11\/13\/i-cry-at-work-and-you-should-too\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#I cry at work \u2014 and you should too&#8221; Now you might be one of those super cool and collected people that never cry at work, but I\u2019m willing to admit my faults: I\u2019m a huge crybaby. While this is a tough thing to admit, I\u2019m convinced there are people out there who\u2019ve done the&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":111621,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/img-cdn.tnwcdn.com\/image\/growth-quarters?filter_last=1&fit=1280,640&url=https:\/\/cdn0.tnwcdn.com\/wp-content\/blogs.dir\/1\/files\/2020\/11\/icons8-crying-at-work-gq.png&signature=abaa5bf4c7abb39789cff1a02f44029f","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-111620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=111620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/111620\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/111621"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=111620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=111620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=111620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}