{"id":118631,"date":"2020-11-23T22:28:09","date_gmt":"2020-11-23T19:28:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/canadian-university-students-share-their-thoughts-on-romance-in-2020\/"},"modified":"2020-11-23T22:28:09","modified_gmt":"2020-11-23T19:28:09","slug":"canadian-university-students-share-their-thoughts-on-romance-in-2020","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/canadian-university-students-share-their-thoughts-on-romance-in-2020\/","title":{"rendered":"#Canadian university students share their thoughts on romance in 2020"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#Canadian university students share their thoughts on romance in 2020<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n Turns out COVID-19 isn\u2019t as much of a hindrance to university dating as insecurities, school and time are\n <\/div>\n
\n In Maclean\u2019s<\/i> annual student survey, we asked students to tell us about their romantic lives, everything from how they\u2019re dating during the pandemic to what they think about consent to what traditional parents think about putting relationships before school. Read on for seven students\u2019 perspectives on romance in 2020.<\/p>\n\n
\"Boreyum<\/p>\n

Boreyum Chum (Courtesy of Boreyum Chum)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Boreyrum Chum, 21, third-year public health student at Brock University<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never been in a relationship, but that\u2019s not important to me right now. I have some relatives in Keswick, Ont., but I\u2019m far away from most of my family, who live in Cambodia. So I often feel lonely regardless of how many friends I have. Some days just hit me harder than others: I\u2019m overwhelmed by the amount of work I have, I\u2019m anxious about the future and I\u2019m worried about life decisions. On those days, it would be great if I could share all this with someone. We could help each other out through tough times and grow together. Still, I do not think I am ready to handle a relationship right now. I have other goals, like spending quality time with friends and family, and being happ<\/a>y with who I am. I wish people my age or younger knew that there\u2019s nothing wrong with being single.<\/p>\n\n

\"Jay<\/p>\n

Jay Manera (Courtesy of Jay Manera)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Jay Manera, 26, fifth-year construction engineering student at\u00a0\u00c9cole de technologie sup\u00e9rieure, Universit\u00e9 du Qu\u00e9bec<\/strong><\/p>\n

My family and friends expect me to be in a relationship. When they bring up the conversation, I always say that I\u2019m not ready because I\u2019m busy with schoolwork. But that\u2019s usually just an excuse to change the subject. In reality, it\u2019s because I\u2019m 26, still a student and living with my parents. I feel that I am lagging behind professionally and financially, which makes me self-conscious and kills my confidence. And I don\u2019t want to general<\/a>ize, but I do believe most women my age (mid- to late 20s) are looking for a partner that is financially stable since they\u2019re mostly concerned about marriage and having children. That makes me unsuitable for these women because we\u2019re in different stages of life. So I\u2019m going to hold off on romantic relationships until my 30s when I should be thinking about settling down and raising a family.<\/p>\n\n

Robert,* 20, third-year computer\u00a0engineering student at McGill University<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t really know how to date. Dating a person generally requires more courage and luck than finding friendships. I wish I knew how to find dates, considering I\u2019m in a male-dominated faculty. I wouldn\u2019t even know where to start. Campus clubs? Off-campus clubs? How would I find excuses to see the same people again, when most campus activities with more than a dozen participants are short-term? I also wish I understood dating culture. I\u2019m from Saskatchewan, but most of the people I meet at university are from Ontario and Quebec. Ontarians seem to be open to diverse experiences in terms of food and activities, while Quebecers seem to treasure their bubbles more. Finding a girlfriend is actually near the top of my priority list, after finding an internship. Many students feel the pressure to find work experience and career success, but for students like me who are from low-income households, this is especially true. But that also means I have less time to look for and accommodate relationships.<\/p>\n

*Last name withheld for privacy reasons<\/i><\/p>\n\n

\"Catherine<\/p>\n

Catherine Blais (Courtesy of Catherine Blais)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Catherine Blais, 22, third-year\u00a0economics student at Bishop\u2019s University<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been in a relationship for about nine months now, although for the first month and a half of that I insisted that we were just casually hanging out. He\u2019d made it clear from the beginning that he wanted something more serious, but he was willing to be with me without the label if that was what I wanted. After winter break last year, my university started up before his college course, so he made the four-hour trip<\/a> to Sherbrooke, Que., and spent a week with me in my apartment. I caught \u201cthe feels,\u201d as we say. Now we\u2019re together and happy. There is a stereotype of the nagging girlfriend, which I don\u2019t feel represents me at all. I actively make sure my partner is making time for social<\/a> activities and personal projects. With COVID, though, I started asking a lot of questions when he made plans with friends. How many people are going to be there? Will you be keeping your distance? Are any of you also in other social groups?<\/i> It made me uncomfortable to be that kind of partner, but I also take being a responsible citizen very seriously.<\/p>\n\n

Dominic Ong, 19, first-year business\u00a0student at Simon Fraser University<\/strong><\/p>\n

My parents and I don\u2019t talk about romantic relationships too much, but whenever we do, they always tell me to focus on my grades and that my studies and career should come first. They seem very adamant about that. I don\u2019t think they don\u2019t want me to be in a relationship; it\u2019s more that they see education as a way to provide a stable and better life, so they want me to focus on school. I\u2019m sure I could date, but I don\u2019t want to rock the boat too much. I do think it\u2019s important to have a romantic relationship, though. If you\u2019d asked me a year ago, the answer would have been different because I was very focused on school and working on increasing my earning potential. But with COVID-19, I\u2019ve been stuck at home and I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about my future and where my life is headed. I am starting to feel like people are what makes life good. Having a romantic relationship (or any stronger relationship with people outside my physical home) is becoming a priority, but I will probably wait until I move out to date.<\/p>\n\n

\"Ashley<\/p>\n

Mickey Morgan (Courtesy of Mickey Morgan)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Mickey Morgan, 20, third-year art student\u00a0at Emily Carr University of Art + Design<\/strong><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t have time to date. I have to take a full-time course load (12 hours of in-class time plus the equivalent of that studying and completing assignments) to get the amount of student loans that I need to pay for tuition, books and living costs. And before the pandemic, I worked four days a week as a kids and youth program facilitator, so that took up a lot of time. <\/i>I\u2019ve also been considering the possibility that I might be aromantic, since I\u2019ve never really been one for dating. I\u2019m more interested in someone who meets my needs as a friend for emotional support and hanging out; someone I also have sex with. I\u2019ve been casually seeing the same person since late high school\u2014she\u2019s someone who meets my needs for intimacy at this point in my life. It can be tough to be a lesbian, even at a liberal arts school. Expressing Sapphic affection has always been a barrier for me. It\u2019s like, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not trying to be just<\/i> friends.\u201d Another barrier to dating is my fear of flirting\u2014embodying the oppressive, icky man\u2014even though that\u2019s not something I can be because I\u2019m not a man. There\u2019s obviously rape culture, patriarchy and all of these different factors that contribute to the objectification of women, and I don\u2019t want to be that. I know I\u2019m not the only lesbian who has felt this way.<\/p>\n\n

\"Ashley<\/p>\n

Ashley Bruce (Courtesy of Ashley Bruce)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Ashley Bruce-Rose, 30, master\u2019s student\u00a0at Brock University<\/strong><\/p>\n

My boyfriend has asked for consent regarding something recently. We talked it through, I told him I wasn\u2019t ready and he was okay with it. There are a lot of other things that are fun that we\u2019re both comfortable with. I believe consent is the basis of all good relationships. You can\u2019t move forward without knowing whether your partner is comfortable and okay with whatever you\u2019re suggesting. If I wasn\u2019t with my boyfriend and I was dating someone new, I know I would talk about consent up front\u2014by the third date at least. I think it\u2019s important to communicate the things I don\u2019t want to participate in.<\/p>\n\n

This article appears in print in the 2021 University Rankings issue of<\/em> Maclean\u2019s magazine with the headline, \u201cDating culture, explained.\u201d <\/em>
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Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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