{"id":120900,"date":"2020-11-26T16:34:11","date_gmt":"2020-11-26T13:34:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/constructive-arguing-can-help-keep-the-peace-at-your-thanksgiving-table\/"},"modified":"2020-11-26T16:34:11","modified_gmt":"2020-11-26T13:34:11","slug":"constructive-arguing-can-help-keep-the-peace-at-your-thanksgiving-table","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/constructive-arguing-can-help-keep-the-peace-at-your-thanksgiving-table\/","title":{"rendered":"#’Constructive arguing’ can help keep the peace at your Thanksgiving table"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#’Constructive arguing’ can help keep the peace at your Thanksgiving table<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

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Sex, income, religion and politics\u2014these are some of the biggies on the list of taboo topics during polite discussion. Even a conciliatory tone doesn’t always protect you if the subjects are spicy. When singer Katy Perry tweeted post-election encouragement to reach out to family members who supported the other candidate, she was skewered online<\/a>.\n <\/p>\n

Traditionally the year-end holidays are a time when friends and family with diverse points of view gather. In a pre-Thanksgiving Pew Research Center survey in 2018, people who reported more family discord about politics were less likely to be comfortable talking politics<\/a> with their family, with 40% of respondents saying they try to avoid the subject.<\/p>\n

Even during this tumultuous year, with stress running high for so many reasons, there are ways to discuss politics without the shouting and angst. Based on courses I teach on conflict resolution in relationships and organizations<\/a>, here’s my practical advice, whether you’re connecting via Zoom or in person.<\/p>\n

Keeping the conversation conflict-free<\/b><\/p>\n

During arguments, it’s easy to fall into what marriage therapist John Gottman calls the four horsemen of the apocalypse<\/a>: contempt, criticism, defensiveness and withdrawal. Once you go there, it’s hard to have any kind of constructive or positive outcome.<\/p>\n

Here are the rules I’ve developed for constructive arguing<\/a> among couples:<\/p>\n