{"id":124581,"date":"2020-12-01T23:47:43","date_gmt":"2020-12-01T20:47:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/"},"modified":"2020-12-01T23:47:43","modified_gmt":"2020-12-01T20:47:43","slug":"breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/","title":{"rendered":"#&#8217;Breakup Bootcamp&#8217; author on getting over a quarantine breakup"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a28ff8a3de65\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a28ff8a3de65\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/#Stay_off_social\" >Stay off social\u00a0<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/#Change_associations\" >Change associations<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/#Take_things_one_breath_a_time\" >Take things one breath a time<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/#Dont_wait_to_date\" >Don\u2019t wait to date<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>#&#8217;Breakup Bootcamp&#8217; author on getting over a quarantine breakup<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Amy Chan is a tough-love specialist. But she wasn\u2019t always so strong when it came to her own romantic life.<\/p>\n<p>In her 20s, the now-38-year-old was cheated on by her boyfriend, a startup CEO. \u201cI was unable to move for hours; I felt dead inside,\u201d Chan writes of the earth-shattering experience in her new book, \u201c<a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Breakup-Bootcamp-Science-Rewiring-Heart\/dp\/006291474X?tag=nypost-20\">Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart<\/a>\u201d (HarperCollins).<\/p>\n<p>Chan describes the aftermath of that two-year relationship, during which she contemplated suicide, as \u201cmy one-woman self-pity show.\u201d But once she sn<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>ed out if it, she realized she was ready for a new career path. She quit her big-time marketing job and threw her energy into <a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/renewbreakupbootcamp.com\/\">Renew Breakup Bootcamp<\/a>: a <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/watch-movies-tv-seriess\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"8\" title=\"Watch Movies &amp; TV Series\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">series<\/a> of luxury retreats for the brokenhearted. Before COVID-19 made in-person gatherings impossible, a weekend of workshops \u2014 hosted by an army experts, including a nutritionist, a love-addiction specialist, a psychologist, a breath worker, a sex educator and a medium \u2014 started at $1,995. Now, Chan hosts groups online, where she coaches single women for $800 a head.<\/p>\n<p>The pandemic has altered relationship dynamics across the board. \u201cIt\u2019s the great relationship accelerator, for better or worse,\u201d she told The Post, adding that singles have felt particularly lonely.<\/p>\n<p>Among the unique pressures of the pandemic, including spikes in divorce rates, Chan\u2019s focus is on helping her clients find new ways to heal \u2014 especially since tried-and-true coping methods, such as girls\u2019 nights and getaways, are off the table.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" alt=\"Amy Chan Break up Bootcamp\" class=\"wp-image-16711587 lazyload\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-4.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=300 300w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-4.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=640 640w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-4.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1280 1280w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-4.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-4.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=2000 2000w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Courtesy<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cYou can\u2019t go to brunch, but you can hire your favorite dance teacher and have a Zoom class with your friends to feel supported,\u201d said Chan.<\/p>\n<p>Below, her best, scientifically savvy tips for letting go of love during a lockdown.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Stay_off_social\"><\/span>Stay off social\u00a0<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>The first rule of boot camp? \u201cYou shouldn\u2019t call [your ex] or look at their <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social media<\/a>,\u201d Chan said. From a neural standpoint, the impulse to check in is akin to any other addiction. \u201cWhen you\u2019re craving a peek at their Instagram Story, it\u2019s because your brain is craving dopamine, not because they were amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The good <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">news<\/a> is, all cravings pass. If you\u2019re really jonesing, Chan suggests turning to something that gives you pleasure, such as listening to music \u2014 \u201cupbeat, happy songs\u201d \u2014 exercising, cooking a decadent meal or penning a letter to a loved one (but not the ex). \u201cThe more you practice replacing the self-sabotaging urge with a healthy practice, the easier it becomes,\u201d she writes.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Change_associations\"><\/span>Change associations<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>It\u2019s going to be impossible to get over an ex if you\u2019re living in a shrine to them, said Chan. Now, with people spending more time at home than ever, it\u2019s crucial to make real adjustments that will let the memories of a past relationship fade.<\/p>\n<p>She said that people should look around their living space to identify \u201cexternal triggers.\u201d Start by getting rid of the obvious stuff \u2014 photos, left-behind sweatshirts and old birthday cards all need to go. Then dig a bit deeper: Does the couch remind you of nights spent cuddling in front of the TV? Chan said it\u2019s surprisingly easy to make new memories, without buying all new stuff. Rearranging your furniture might help \u201cminimize the association of your home with him,\u201d writes Chan.\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" alt=\"Amy Chan Break up Bootcamp&#10;\" class=\"wp-image-16711596 lazyload\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-5.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=300 300w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-5.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=640 640w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-5.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1280 1280w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-5.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-5.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=2000 2000w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Courtesy<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Take_things_one_breath_a_time\"><\/span>Take things one breath a time<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>To calm anxiety and stop obsessive thoughts in their tracks, Chan recommends an ancient yogic technique, the 4-7-8 breathing sequence.<\/p>\n<p>Find a quiet place, close your eyes and place your tongue on the roof of your mouth behind your front teeth. Then, breathe in through your nose for four seconds \u2014 sipping the air deep in into your belly \u2014 and hold it in for seven seconds. Slowly release through your mouth for a count of eight, and repeat as necessary. According to Chan, the exercise \u201ccalms your parasympathetic nervous system,\u201d relaxing the body and directly counteracting a flight-or-fight response.\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" alt=\"Amy Chan\" class=\"wp-image-16711619 lazyload\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-2.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=300 300w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-2.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=640 640w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-2.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1280 1280w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-2.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan-2.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=2000 2000w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Amy Chan<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Amy Chan<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dont_wait_to_date\"><\/span>Don\u2019t wait to date<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Chan said that waiting for the right moment \u2014 or the right person \u2014 to get back out there is the wrong approach and can lead to more moping.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, she encourages people to date freely after a breakup, even in a pandemic.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOne challenge I like to give my clients is to go on dates with 10 different people,\u201d said Chan, who added that Zoom and FaceTime meet-ups will do the trick. She also likes to see freshly minted singles meet up with potential mates who don\u2019t match up with their usual guidelines. \u201cSwipe on people you wouldn\u2019t normally swipe yes to, and go on dates with someone 10 years older, and 10 years younger,\u201d said Chan. The \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/game\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"7\" title=\"Game\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">game<\/a>ified\u201d exercise will take the pressure off the first dates, and ultimately expand the types you might be interested in down the line.\n            <\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more News articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2020\/12\/01\/breakup-bootcamp-author-on-getting-over-a-quarantine-breakup\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#&#8217;Breakup Bootcamp&#8217; author on getting over a quarantine breakup&#8221; Amy Chan is a tough-love specialist. But she wasn\u2019t always so strong when it came to her own romantic life. In her 20s, the now-38-year-old was cheated on by her boyfriend, a startup CEO. \u201cI was unable to move for hours; I felt dead inside,\u201d Chan&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":124582,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/12\/amy-chan.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=1200","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[82308,72700,70706],"class_list":["post-124581","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-12-1-20","tag-breakups","tag-dating"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124581","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=124581"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/124581\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/124582"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=124581"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=124581"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=124581"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}