{"id":136061,"date":"2020-12-18T00:33:17","date_gmt":"2020-12-17T21:33:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/a-christmas-carol-but-during-the-2020-pandemic\/"},"modified":"2020-12-18T00:33:17","modified_gmt":"2020-12-17T21:33:17","slug":"a-christmas-carol-but-during-the-2020-pandemic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/a-christmas-carol-but-during-the-2020-pandemic\/","title":{"rendered":"#A Christmas Carol, but during the 2020 pandemic"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#A Christmas Carol, but during the 2020 pandemic<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n We\u2019ve rewritten a few favourites so they better align with this year\u2019s pandemic holiday season, including \u2018How the Grinch stole a pandemic Christmas,\u2019 and \u2018A 2020 holiday song, inspired by Adam Sandler.\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n\n

Ebenezer Scrooge opened his desk drawer to grab a stapler and quickly shut it again when the family of possums that had moved in started snarling. Scrooge was the only banker in his Bay Street office, and not just because it was 9 p.m. on Christmas Eve. The human resources department had told its employees to work from home when the pandemic hit in March, over Scrooge\u2019s objections, but he had simply been unable to do it.<\/p>\n

Scrooge took a deep breath before logging into a Zoom call with his executive assistant, Bob Cratchit.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood evening, Mr. Scrooge! And a very fine evening it is, what with the falling snow,\u201d Cratchit said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBah humbug,\u201d Scrooge replied. \u201cI suppose you\u2019re calling to ask for the day off tomorrow, despite the fact it will be a Friday.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf it\u2019s not too terribly inconvenient, Mr. Scrooge.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHumbug. It\u2019s just as inconvenient for me to give you Christmas off this year as it was the year before and the year before that. But I suppose it is the custom, so the day off you shall have.\u201d<\/p>\n

Scrooge left the Zoom meeting and settled in under his desk to sleep.<\/p>\n

***<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cScroooooooooooge\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Scrooge awoke with a start, the possums hissing again as he hit his head on the bottom of the desk.<\/p>\n

\u201cScrooge, I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. I am here to show you your missteps,\u201d the spirit said. The lights came on, Scrooge\u2019s computer screen flickered to life, and another Zoom meeting began.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe shall now begin CanAcme Bank Corp.\u2019s annual meeting for the fiscal year ending Oct. 31, 2020,\u201d said a woman in a boucl\u00e9 jacket with a severe bob. \u201cThe topline results: While our profit margin wasn\u2019t quite as large as last year, we certainly still made a profit, and our stock price is on the way to recovering to its pre-pandemic high.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFabulous,\u201d said a man with flawless hair plugs in an expensive-looking suit. \u201cHow did we achieve such stunning results during this unprecedented disaster?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere to begin!\u201d Scrooge said, rubbing his hands together. \u201cWhen the businesses we invest in make money, so do we, and Canadian businesses have certainly found some creative ways to avoid a total economic disaster. Denying paid sick leave, cutting back on emergency wage increases, layoffs, evictions\u2026 all of these have led to some nice, fat bonuses and stock buybacks, plus a stock market that\u2019s roaring back to life. Plus, mortgage deferral programs are coming to an end and that money is rolling in once again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBrilliant,\u201d Mr. Moneybags said, twirling a pen and grinning. \u201cSimply brilliant.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/strong><\/p>\n

A large man with a green robe, a red beard and a crown made of holly app<\/a>eared before Scrooge. \u201cI am the Ghost of Christmas Present,\u201d he said. \u201cI am here to show you things as they are.\u201d<\/p>\n

The office dissolved, and suddenly Scrooge was standing in a cramped one-bedroom apartment.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoney, I\u2019m home from the grocery store!\u201d Scrooge\u2019s assistant Bob Cratchit said as he walked through the door.<\/p>\n

Mrs. Cratchit waited for him to pull off his mask and gave him a kiss. \u201cDarling, you had that Zoom call with Mr. Scrooge on the walk over, right? Did you\u2026 did you ask\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Bob lowered his head. \u201cFor the raise? I\u2019m afraid not, dear. It was all I could do to get Christmas Day off.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we\u2019re due to be evicted on the 1st,\u201d Mrs. Cratchit said. \u201cI can\u2019t get another job waitressing because I have to homeschool Tiny Tim, on account of his poor immune system. And that miserable old man can\u2019t spare an extra few dollars a month?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, dear,\u201d Bob said. \u201cIf we get evicted, we can always go live in the office with Mr. Scrooge. There are possums living in the desk drawers we can hunt for food.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mrs. Cratchit burst into tears.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow, what\u2019s all that fuss about?\u201d said a young boy on crutches, emerging from the bedroom. \u201cDon\u2019t cry, mum. It\u2019ll be alright.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, dear,\u201d Mrs. Cratchit said. \u201cYes, it will.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tiny Tim pulled away from his mother, seized by a fit of dry coughs.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll take you to the test centre tomorrow, boy,\u201d Bob said. \u201cKind old Mr. Scrooge gave me the day off.\u201d<\/p>\n

***<\/strong><\/p>\n

A dark, hooded figure appeared before Scrooge.<\/p>\n

\u2018Are you the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?\u201d Scrooge asked.<\/p>\n

The figure nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am afraid,\u201d Scrooge said. \u201cBut show me nevertheless.\u201d<\/p>\n

A priest reading the last rites at a gravesite on a cloudy day appeared.<\/p>\n

\u201cIs that my grave?\u201d Scrooge asked. The figure nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cHas no one come to my funeral because large gatherings are forbidden in the pandemic?\u201d The figure shook his head no.<\/p>\n

\u201cO spirit, I repent! I repent!\u201d Scrooge said, collapsing onto his gravestone. \u201cI will change my ways! I will be a better person! Just give me the chance, one last chance!\u201d<\/p>\n

The scene dissolved, and Scrooge was in his empty office once again.<\/p>\n

***<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m alive?\u201d Scrooge said, sitting up with a start. \u201cI\u2019m alive! I\u2019m alive! O, joyous day!\u201d<\/p>\n

Scrooge picked up his phone. \u201cSiri? Hey, Siri! What day is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDecember 25, 2020,\u201d Siri replied.<\/p>\n

\u201cSiri, send the largest turkey at the butcher to the Cratchits. And double his salary, and send him enough money to cover their missed rent payments.<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, done,\u201d Siri said.<\/p>\n

Giggling, Scrooge logged into his computer and entered a few passwords. A dialogue box reading \u201cCancel all debts?\u201d appeared on the screen. Scrooge clicked \u201cOK.\u201d<\/p>\n

It took a few minutes before Scrooge started hearing the cheers. He rushed to the window again, where people were running into the streets to dance in the gently falling snow. Cars were honking their horns. People were banging pots and pans on balconies.<\/p>\n

Scrooge put on his coat and hat and walked into the elevator. His work was finally done. It was Christmas Day, and it was time to go home.
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Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“#A Christmas Carol, but during the 2020 pandemic” We\u2019ve rewritten a few favourites so they better align with this year\u2019s pandemic holiday season, including \u2018How the Grinch stole a pandemic Christmas,\u2019 and \u2018A 2020 holiday song, inspired by Adam Sandler.\u2019 Ebenezer Scrooge opened his desk drawer to grab a stapler and quickly shut it again…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":136062,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/Scrooge-Macleans-MDS-750x422.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[66,86884,67806,86885],"class_list":["post-136061","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-christmas","tag-ebenezer-scrooge","tag-editors-picks","tag-pandemic-christmas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136061","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=136061"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136061\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/136062"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=136061"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=136061"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=136061"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}