{"id":207087,"date":"2021-03-20T15:39:55","date_gmt":"2021-03-20T12:39:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/why-a-year-of-covid-has-been-so-hellish-for-nyc-singles\/"},"modified":"2021-03-20T15:39:55","modified_gmt":"2021-03-20T12:39:55","slug":"why-a-year-of-covid-has-been-so-hellish-for-nyc-singles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-a-year-of-covid-has-been-so-hellish-for-nyc-singles\/","title":{"rendered":"#Why a year of COVID has been so hellish for NYC singles"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#Why a year of COVID has been so hellish for NYC singles<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

One year ago, I enjoyed being part of a clique of friends at a co-workspace. We sat closely together, sharing worktables, afternoon snacks and personal stories: their spouses and children, my single life with no kids.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Then came COVID and my daily social<\/a> connections unraveled. While I reorganized my home as an office-gym-home theater, my friends left their cramped city apartments for an Airbnb down south, a rented house up north, and a permanent move out east.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Who could blame them? As much as I wanted my own family, I was relieved I didn\u2019t have the COVID stress that was wearing down so many parents. As early as March 2020, New York City divorce attorneys like William D. Zabel, a founding partner of Schulte Roth & Zabel, reported a 50 percent<\/a> increase in calls from people seeking to split from their spouse.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But, at the same time, the effects of isolation have also taken their toll on the singles who make up 56 percent<\/a> of New York City\u2019s residents. When even the accidental touch of gloved fingers putting change into my bare palm at the produce stand felt good, I knew something was wrong. You don\u2019t realize how much human contact affects your well-being until it\u2019s gone.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cCouples have had it so much easier than singles\u201d during the pandemic, Jon Birger, author of the new book \u201cMake Your Move: The New Science of Dating and Why Women Are in Charge<\/a>,\u201d told me. Couples \u201cmay be getting sick of each other, but they at least have each other. Our brains are not wired for this much alone time.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

The Institute for Family Studies found that the \u201cloneliness gap\u201d between those who are married with children and singles who are childless grew wider in 2020. In fact, people who describe themselves as \u201csingle with no kids\u201d were the loneliest cohort<\/a> in 2020. And the journal Health Affairs reported<\/a> that for the 28 percent of Americans who live alone, loneliness increased by 20 to 30 percent and emotional distress trip<\/a>led within the first month of the pandemic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In New York City, that is partly because the singles scene totally evaporated. Masks, social distancing and restrictions on restaurants and bars during lockdown made dating nearly impossible. And while some used dating app<\/a>s and video dating to connect, setting a place and time to meet in person was too challenging for many.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Closures
Closures of favorite date spots during lockdown made it all the more harder on NYC singles.<\/figcaption>
Taidgh Barron\/NY Post<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Tamara, a 50-year-old who spent the past year living and working alone in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, simply gave up on dating.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cBetween it all being weather dependent, having to sit down for a dinner reservation [instead of] a casual, first-date drink, not-to-mention that 10 p.m. restaurant curfew, dating was just too complicated,\u201d she told me. \u201cCOVID took the romance out of dating.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, David, a 45-year-old divorcee with no kids, had his last in-person date nearly a year ago.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cThe women I meet on dating apps don\u2019t feel COVID-safe meeting in person, so I\u2019ve been Zoom-dating \u2014 which isn\u2019t the same, obviously,\u201d said David, who moved from Brooklyn to Westchester to be closer to his aging mother during the pandemic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sex is even more elusive. A fall 2020 survey by Match found that 71 percent<\/a> of American singles hadn\u2019t enjoyed a single sexual encounter during the pandemic.\u00a0<\/p>\n

For Jodi, 51, who lives on the Upper East Side, it\u2019s been even longer. After losing her husband in 2017, she announced on New Year\u2019s Eve 2020 that she was ready to date again. Then, COVID struck. She tells me her sex life is \u201cnonexistent.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cCOVID has been a painful reminder of what I had with my late husband \u2014 and what I\u2019ve lost.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Experts have long studied the impact of loneliness on a person\u2019s wellbeing. Asim Shah, M.D., professor and executive vice chair of the Menninger Department of Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine, refers to this phenomenon as \u201ctouch-starvation<\/a>\u201d and reports that it increases stress, depression and anxiety, and triggers a cascade of negative physiological effects, too.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Fertility
Fertility clinics reported an uptick in egg freezing in 2020, with NYU Langone claiming a 41 percent increase from 2019 and Shady Grove Fertility a 50 percent increase nationwide. <\/figcaption>
Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u201cWhen someone is [touch] starved, it\u2019s like someone who is starved for food,\u201d Shah said in a report last May.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Diana, 38, who lives in Hoboken, NJ, and had commuted daily into Manhattan for work before COVID, admits she\u2019s had several breakdowns since the pandemic began.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cNot being able to do anything for a year makes me feel like everything I had was taken away from me, while other people are home with their spouse and kids,\u201d she said. \u201cIn my darkest days, I feel like I\u2019m the only one who has nothing that matters.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s no surprise that COVID has made the desire for a family more urgent for the singles I spoke with. After holding her first nephew last summer, Erica, 35, living in Connecticut, knew she wanted to be a mother more than ever. Now she is set to freeze her eggs next month, as part of a sweeping post-COVID trend<\/a>. Fertility clinics reported an uptick in egg freezing in 2020, with NYU Langone claiming a 41 percent increase from 2019 and Shady Grove Fertility a 50 percent increase nationwide.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Still, Elena, 30, of Brooklyn, fears she\u2019s lost a full year of finding love and marriage \u2014 and may have missed out on motherhood altogether.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople are saying \u2018it\u2019s just a year,\u2019 but when you\u2019re 30, a year is a big percentage of your fertility window,\u201d she told me.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Elena is now seeing a therapist to help her cope.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cShe told me that most men will take relationships more seriously post-COVID. They\u2019ll want to find someone they can count on and have a meaningful life with,\u201d she said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We both hope that\u2019s true.\u00a0<\/p>\n

As more New Yorkers get their COVID vaccinations, and restrictions on dining and socializing loosen up, singles are more eager than most to get back to \u201cnormal life\u201d \u2014 and, hopefully, a life they can share with someone they love.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Melanie Notkin is the author of \u201cOtherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness<\/a>\u201d<\/em>\n <\/div>\n

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Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“#Why a year of COVID has been so hellish for NYC singles” One year ago, I enjoyed being part of a clique of friends at a co-workspace. We sat closely together, sharing worktables, afternoon snacks and personal stories: their spouses and children, my single life with no kids.\u00a0 Then came COVID and my daily social…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":207088,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/03\/singles-in-nyc.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=1200","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[98651,70344,89758,70706,90849],"class_list":["post-207087","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-3-20-21","tag-coronavirus-in-ny","tag-coronavirus-tales","tag-dating","tag-singles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207087","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=207087"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/207087\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/207088"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=207087"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=207087"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=207087"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}