{"id":226085,"date":"2021-04-14T01:10:01","date_gmt":"2021-04-13T22:10:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/my-mother-is-dying-of-cancer-her-husband-said-shes-leaving-everything-to-me-and-my-brothers-when-is-a-good-time-to-ask-about-her-will\/"},"modified":"2021-04-14T01:10:01","modified_gmt":"2021-04-13T22:10:01","slug":"my-mother-is-dying-of-cancer-her-husband-said-shes-leaving-everything-to-me-and-my-brothers-when-is-a-good-time-to-ask-about-her-will","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/my-mother-is-dying-of-cancer-her-husband-said-shes-leaving-everything-to-me-and-my-brothers-when-is-a-good-time-to-ask-about-her-will\/","title":{"rendered":"#\n  My mother is dying of cancer. Her husband said she\u2019s leaving everything to me and my brothers. When is a good time to ask about her will?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a23a58c1923c\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a23a58c1923c\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/my-mother-is-dying-of-cancer-her-husband-said-shes-leaving-everything-to-me-and-my-brothers-when-is-a-good-time-to-ask-about-her-will\/#%E2%80%98Obviously_I_dont_want_to_sound_greedy_but_I_feel_as_though_this_is_important_information_for_me_and_the_rest_of_my_family_to_know\" >\u2018Obviously, I don\u2019t want to sound greedy, but I feel as though this is important information for me and the rest of my family to know\u2019<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/my-mother-is-dying-of-cancer-her-husband-said-shes-leaving-everything-to-me-and-my-brothers-when-is-a-good-time-to-ask-about-her-will\/#Quentin_Fottrell\" >Quentin Fottrell<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>#<br \/>\n  My mother is dying of cancer. Her husband said she\u2019s leaving everything to me and my brothers. When is a good time to ask about her will?<br \/>\n<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"article__subhead\" itemprop=\"alternativeHeadline\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%98Obviously_I_dont_want_to_sound_greedy_but_I_feel_as_though_this_is_important_information_for_me_and_the_rest_of_my_family_to_know\"><\/span>\n  \u2018Obviously, I don\u2019t want to sound greedy, but I feel as though this is important information for me and the rest of my family to know\u2019<br \/>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><\/p>\n<div class=\"column column--full article__content\">\n<div class=\"article__side\">\n<div class=\"container--sticky not-active\">\n<div class=\"cx--next\">\n              <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div id=\"js-article__body\" class=\"article__body article-wrap at16-col16 barrons-article-wrap\" itemprop=\"articleBody\" data-sbid=\"32E96B6C-9C6E-11EB-9AF9-45076279AB23\">\n<div class=\"barrons-article-ad-wrapper\">\n<div data-track=\"barrons-article-ad-wrap\" class=\"barrons-article-ad sticky_item\">\n<div class=\"barrons-main-article-ad-target sticky_target body_ad\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p>       <strong>Dear Quentin,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p> My mother is dying of cancer and doesn\u2019t have much longer to live. <\/p>\n<p>Her current husband told me that they sought counsel to establish a will, and all of her assets are going to me and my two brothers. <\/p>\n<div class=\"paywall\">\n       1. When is it a good time to ask about her will?<\/p>\n<p>2. To whom should I speak regarding her will?<\/p>\n<p>3. Do I ask about it now or wait until she passes?<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, I don\u2019t want to sound greedy, but I feel as though this is important information for me and the rest of my family to know. <\/p>\n<p>Sincerely,<\/p>\n<p>One of Three Sons<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>You can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<div id=\"cx-membership-tile\"><\/div>\n<p><strong>Want to read more?<\/strong><strong> Follow Quentin Fottrell on <\/strong><a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Quantanamo\" class=\"icon none\">Twitter<\/a><strong>and read more of his columns <\/strong>here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Son,<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The ideal time to have this discussion was before your mother got sick.<\/p>\n<p>With that said, trust your gut. How you decide to <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>roach this depends on how sick your mother is currently, and what kind of relationship you have with her. If it\u2019s a strong, healthy relationship where you can talk about anything, you might say, \u201cJack kindly told us that you made a will providing for the children. Is there anything that we need to know, or is there anything we can do to help with Jack or your estate?\u201d That is, don\u2019t come bearing questions alone. Bring some offer of assistance to the table. <\/p>\n<p>If your mother is in a vulnerable state, you can take your stepfather at his word, and be there for her during her last days. It may be that she does <em>not <\/em>want to discuss her last will and testament, and I\u2019m guessing she would not like to be grilled on the subject on her deathbed, so tread carefully. (I am assuming that your stepfather was appointed executor.) Ultimately, you should ensure that your mother is comfortable during her last days, and that includes helping to alleviate any stress or anxiety.<\/p>\n<p>Timing and tone are important in any discussions. Amy Zehnder, managing director and leadership and legacy consultant at Ascent Private Capital Management of U.S. Bank, told me in MarketWatch\u2019s recent \u201cMastering Your Money\u201d <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/watch-movies-tv-seriess\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"8\" title=\"Watch Movies &amp; TV Series\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">series<\/a> that families often stumble awkwardly into such conversations. \u201cKids don\u2019t want to ask, because they are afraid of coming across as greedy,\u201d she said. \u201cBe curious and understanding about how it works, and not \u2018what\u2019s in it for me.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The document will be filed with the probate court upon your mother\u2019s passing. You can access the document through the probate court and\/or through the family\u2019s attorney. The court clerk should be able to help you find the case number and hearing dates, if you supply your mother\u2019s name and the date of her death. <\/p>\n<p>Failing that, you can ask your stepfather. If he is good enough to inform you about your mother\u2019s will, he should be willing to share the will\u2019s contents after your mother passes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>The Moneyist: <\/strong>My fianc\u00e9e\u2019s mother asked us to raise her 2 kids, as we live in a good school district and she has a gambling addiction \u2014 then she claimed their stimulus checks<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Hello there, MarketWatchers. Check out <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/moneyist\/\" class=\"icon none\">the Moneyist private Facebook<\/a><br \/>\n        FB,<br \/>\n        <bg-quote field=\"percentchange\" format=\"0,000.00%\" channel=\"\/zigman2\/quotes\/205064656\/composite\" class=\"negative\">-0.57%<\/bg-quote><br \/>\n      \u00a0group, where we look for answers to life\u2019s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong><\/strong><\/em><strong><em>By submitting your story to Dow Jones &amp; Company, the publisher of MarketWatch, you understand and agree that we may use your story, or versions of it, in all <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">media<\/a> and platforms, including via third parties.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<div data-layout=\"inline\n                \" data-layout-mobile=\"\" class=\"\n          media-object\n          type-InsetRelatedArticles\n            inline\n  article__inset\n          article__inset--type-InsetRelatedArticles\n            article__inset--inline\n  \"><\/p><\/div>\n<div data-layout=\"\n                inline\" data-layout-mobile=\"\" class=\"\n          media-object\n          type-InsetCommentingPromo\n              \n              inline\n  article__inset\n          article__inset--type-InsetCommentingPromo\n              article__inset--inline\n  \"><\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div class=\"byline article__byline\">\n<p>      <span>By<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"author  hasMenu\" data-scrim='{\"type\":\"author\",\"header\":\"Quentin Fottrell\",\"subhead\":\"The Wall Street Journal\",\"list\":[]}' itemscope itemprop=\"author\" itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n<h4 itemprop=\"name\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Quentin_Fottrell\"><\/span>Quentin Fottrell<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.marketwatch.com\/news\/story.asp?guid=%7B32E96B6C-9C6E-11EB-9AF9-45076279AB23%7D&#038;siteid=rss&#038;rss=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;# My mother is dying of cancer. Her husband said she\u2019s leaving everything to me and my brothers. When is a good time to ask about her will? &#8221; \u2018Obviously, I don\u2019t want to sound greedy, but I feel as though this is important information for me and the rest of my family to know\u2019&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":82706,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-226085","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226085","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=226085"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226085\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/82706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=226085"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=226085"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=226085"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}