{"id":22723,"date":"2020-07-07T16:07:00","date_gmt":"2020-07-07T13:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/the-imperfect-empath-tohru-honda\/"},"modified":"2020-07-07T16:07:00","modified_gmt":"2020-07-07T13:07:00","slug":"the-imperfect-empath-tohru-honda","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-imperfect-empath-tohru-honda\/","title":{"rendered":"#The Imperfect Empath, Tohru Honda"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#The Imperfect Empath, Tohru Honda<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

Fruits Basket<\/span><\/i>, one of the most famous shoujo manga<\/a> published, first hit the market in 1998. It tells the story of an orphaned girl, Tohru Honda, who accidentally stumbles upon the mysterious Sohma family and their secret \u2014 an age-old curse that turns certain Sohma family members into one of the animals of the twelve Chinese zodiac. Despite the fact that decades have passed, <\/span>Fruits Basket<\/span><\/i> remains a well-loved story and was given the \u201c<\/span>Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood<\/span><\/i> treatment\u201d by receiving a reboot that promised to cover the entirety of the manga\u2019s storyline.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

However, times have changed dramatically since <\/span>Fruits Basket<\/span><\/i>\u2019s first published volume, and with them, the opinions towards the story and characters. In particular, people have begun to critique Tohru Honda, the iconic protagonist of <\/span>Fruits Basket<\/span><\/i>. She has the personality of someone who\u2019s incessantly kind, angelic, and cares about what seems to be total strangers. While she certainly fits a particular angelic female archetype that was infinitely more popular then, Tohru is not your typical \u201cnice girl\u201d \u2014 she\u2019s a good example of a real-life empath.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Empaths are often portrayed in fantasy novels as characters with the literal power to feel other people\u2019s emotions, channel it, and manipulate it as they please. However, throughout the years, the idea of real-life empaths has materialized and contributed to a different understanding of the term. One such study by Abigail Marsh, called <\/span>The Fear Factor<\/span><\/i>, dives into the psychology and science<\/a> of altruism within real life empaths. While they cannot absorb external emotions and drain their target, or project their emotions to other people and deliberately persuade them, real-life empaths do have an innate ability to simply connect and understand most people\u2019s situations and emotions. They feel bad when others feel down. They\u2019re overjoyed when other people are happ<\/a>y. They tend to be the devil\u2019s advocate in an argument, even when they don\u2019t actually mean to side with the others. Because of their ability to feel and understand people, they are also capable of responding to how others would want them to. And yes, at times, real-life empaths do seem \u201ctoo nice to be true.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Many people fail to understand that because empaths are general<\/a>ly well-in-tune with other people, it causes the empath\u2019s identity, accomplishments, and positive emotions to become directly tied to the other party. Empaths feel prouder when they\u2019ve made someone happy than if they\u2019ve done something incredible by themselves. They feel their best moments are when friends entrust them with their insecurities rather than the empath doing something valiant for themselves, such as standing up for themselves or fighting what they believe is right.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/img>
Being the perfect shoulder and sometimes seemingly unrealistic<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

That is the biggest distinguishing factor between a \u201c<\/span>nice person<\/span>\u201d and an actual empath. The \u201cnice girl\u201d is genuinely nice for no particular reason, has no identity, and does things to just be the healer of the group. In particular, they\u2019re concerned about \u201chealing\u201d any conflicts to immedia<\/a>tely return to what it \u201cshould be\u201d as if no conflicts had not risen at all. They\u2019re concerned and ask questions, but they don\u2019t genuinely understand or seek to understand like empaths do As a result, nice girls are unable to find the real root of people\u2019s problems.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

When Kisa runs away from home, unable to deal with the bullying at school, a nice girl would simply shower Kisa with generic loving words. She\u2019d say Kisa shouldn\u2019t care about what bullies think, that bullies are mean, and that Kisa is amazing in her own right. Instead, Tohru quickly understands that the heart of Kisa\u2019s problems stems from her fears to face her mom and tell her the truth, rather than the actual bullying. When Kisa\u2019s mom comes to question Kisa, Tohru shows a surprising amount of initiative and answers hard questions for Kisa. She articulates what Kisa has been unable to voice: Kisa ran away because she\u2019s scared that her mom would feel ashamed of having such a weak daughter. This particularly stands out because Tohru isn\u2019t usually someone who takes such direct actions. She often chooses to support from the sidelines, like she does for Ayame\u2019s attempt to close the gap with Yuki. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/img>
Saying what Kisa can\u2019t but wants to say<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

However, in that moment, Tohru knows that, more than anything, Kisa needs someone to communicate for her \u2014 and Tohru does that without hesitation. One can certainly argue that Tohru only sympathized with Kisa because Tohru herself experienced bullying as a child. However, the series<\/a> shows Tohru\u2019s empath traits through other nuanced moments with the Sohmas in situations that she hasn\u2019t experienced before.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When Momiji reveals his familial circumstance and how his mom chose to have her memories erased of her own son, Tohru opts for a silent hug while crying on Momiji\u2019s behalf. A nice girl would have tried to \u201cheal\u201d the situation. The character would suggest Momiji to try re-establishing a relationship with his mom, all while lamenting on how sad and tragic the situation is. However, Tohru says nothing because she understands that there\u2019s nothing to say. The situation won\u2019t change, can\u2019t change, and Momiji loves his family too much to try to change it. A moment of solidarity means more than expressing your own feelings, even if it\u2019s on the side of the victim. Tohru was able to understand what he truly wanted from her without having ever been in his shoes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/img>
Sometimes there are no words<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

However, at the root of their differences, the most basic one lies in the fact that empaths are humans. In other words, empaths have flaws while \u201cnice girls\u201d do not. For the latter, they\u2019re always emotionally stable, they never have issues on their own, and they have a never-ending capacity to provide endless support. However, in Tohru\u2019s case, her kindness is a direct extension to feel good about herself more than anything else. It\u2019s a case of self-satisfaction and selfishness that results in very positive results for the opposite party but does not benefit the empath in the long run. When Tohru can\u2019t help people, is unable to be that shoulder, and fails to understand people, she feels empty and aimless. Her very identity is tied with her actions to make other people around her feel good, which is very dangerous in real life, and often mentally debilitating when an empath hasn\u2019t learned to balance things out.<\/span><\/p>\n

This becomes especially prevalent in the second season when she discusses with Kyo about her future. She hasn\u2019t thought about college because, prior, her entire life revolved around making her mom happy. Part of that mission was to find a job out of high school to ease the income burden. Now that she has lost that purpose \u2014 and her sense of identity \u2014 she feels like she no longer knows what her future should look like. In her conversation with Kyo, Tohru desperately tries to change the topic by addressing Kyo\u2019s worries instead. Luckily, Kyo knows exactly the kind of person Tohru is and presses forward with his questions. His immediate hit-the-nail-on-the-head moment results in Tohru bursting into tears at his unexpected perceptiveness.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/img>
Breaking down into unexpected tears at her own insecurities<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As much as empaths love to help other people, they also grow dependent on others to an unhealthy degree for their own happiness and satisfaction. It\u2019s an extremely dangerous hill to down, and many empaths have worn themselves out that way. Their intense attention and devotion towards others compel them to avoid everything they can about themselves. It leads to unresolved tensions and self-esteem issues. Because they care so much about others, empaths only see their self-worth within others.<\/span><\/p>\n

But what if the person they base their happiness on leaves? Bonds are not promised to last forever. Unexpected incidents occur. That\u2019s exactly what happened with Tohru with the sudden death of her mom, and Kyo understands the effects it has on her. He says to Tohru what many people fail to realize: being empathetic and kind is not at all bad, but when it comes at the expense of yourself, it\u2019s no longer worth it. So, for the first time in the series, another character\u2019s prodding causes Tohru\u2019s own insecurities to come tumbling out from her mouth as fast as the tears from her eyes. Even then, she tries to pass it off as nothing and avoid speaking about it until Kyo\u2019s nonchalant tone reassures her that her image and her identity isn\u2019t shattered because she also has her own worries.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Empaths get taken advantage of quite easily and often unconsciously. I do believe that most people are good people, so when empaths are walked over, they\u2019re not walked over by mean spirited or manipulative villains. The people who walk over them are often friends who just become used to the consistent support. They often forget to check on the mental health of the \u201cemotionally stable and perfect\u201d empath, who often hides their instability and mental exhaustion.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a result, the empaths\u2019 true friends are the ones who teach them to be more altruistic \u2014 by being more honest with themselves. Kyo, Uo, and Hana know of Tohru\u2019s dependency on other people, so they take every chance to force Tohru to do more selfish things, such as pushing her to request favors from others, to say directly what she wants, and to open up about her own pain rather than crying about someone else\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/img>
Looking towards the empath\u2019s wellbeing<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Despite the fact that Tohru\u2019s dogged kindness towards helping the Sohmas might seem so unrealistic and paints her as a perfect angel, it only proves her flaws. She sticks close to the Sohmas because she desperately needs them. Only through helping them does she even start to feel better about herself, and she latches onto them just as fast as the others have latched onto her. And while helping others may help her sense of self-worth, it is, at the same time, only a temporary band-aid to her own troubles plaguing her, as evidenced by how quickly she broke down when Kyo turned the therapeutic talk on her instead.<\/span><\/p>\n

Fruits Basket\u2019s <\/span><\/i>choice to make Tohru an empath rather than just a nice girl is an incredibly powerful and emotional choice for the entirety of the Sohma family and herself. As an empath, Tohru guides both the characters and viewers how to deconstruct and understand the problems of their toxic situations while providing the appropriate comfort for gradual healing. Tohru isn\u2019t here to simply mend relationships on the surface but to actively and completely reset the foundations of a toxic situation. Yet, at the same time, by making Tohru an empath, the story also teaches viewers that it is healthy to develop a path for yourself while you change other people\u2019s lives for the better.<\/span><\/span><\/p><\/div>\n

\n

If you want to read more anime-manga articles, you can visit our anime-manga category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

\n

if you want to watch Movies or Tv Shows go to Dizi.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a> <\/span> for forums sites go to Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“#The Imperfect Empath, Tohru Honda” Fruits Basket, one of the most famous shoujo manga published, first hit the market in 1998. It tells the story of an orphaned girl, Tohru Honda, who accidentally stumbles upon the mysterious Sohma family and their secret \u2014 an age-old curse that turns certain Sohma family members into one of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[2970,26863,34272,34273,34270,34274,34271],"class_list":["post-22723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anime-manga","tag-anime","tag-fruits-basket","tag-fruits-basket-2019","tag-fruits-basket-tohru","tag-the-imperfect-empath","tag-tohru","tag-tohru-honda"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22723","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22723"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22723\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22723"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22723"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22723"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}