{"id":26644,"date":"2020-07-14T00:40:00","date_gmt":"2020-07-13T21:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/"},"modified":"2020-07-14T00:40:00","modified_gmt":"2020-07-13T21:40:00","slug":"why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/","title":{"rendered":"#Why one woman sought out strangers\u2019 darkest secrets on Craigslist"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3ab60ea47e3\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3ab60ea47e3\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/#She_sold_her_body_to_cover_a_100-a-day_cocaine_habit\" >She sold her body to cover a $100-a-day cocaine habit<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/#Hes_too_depressed_to_leave_his_apartment\" >He\u2019s too depressed to leave his apartment<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/#He_sold_out_his_friend_to_the_cops\" >He sold out his friend to the cops<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/#She_always_worried_her_daughter_would_die\" >She always worried her daughter would die<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/#Hes_ruined_his_life_by_working_out_to_be_Instagram_famous\" >He\u2019s ruined his life by working out to be Instagram famous<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>#Why one woman sought out strangers\u2019 darkest secrets on Craigslist<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<div>\n                        Six years ago, Helena Dea Bala sat at a Washington, DC, Starbucks, preparing to meet a complete stranger and hear her deepest, darkest secret.<\/p>\n<p>Bala, a higher-education lobbyist, seemed to have a fulfilling life. She and her family had come to American from Albania when she was a girl, and she grew up \u201cdirt poor.\u201d Her father, an ambassador back home, worked as a security guard, and her mother \u2014 formerly a doctor in Albania \u2014 cleaned houses. Bala helped on weekends.<\/p>\n<p>Bala eventually achieved her goal of graduating from law school, and she earned a job on Capitol Hill. But she was also drowning in debt and beginning to feel that her job was pointless.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s when a chance conversation with a homeless man sent her life in a new direction.<\/p>\n<p>His name was Joe, and he often panhandled for change outside Bala\u2019s building. She would say hello and bring him leftover sandwiches.<\/p>\n<p>One day, she passed him without dropping off food. \u201cAre you upset with me?\u201d he asked, wounded.<\/p>\n<p>The question brought Bala nearly to tears. She went around the corner, bought a sandwich to share, and sat down with Joe. He shared intimate details about his life, including how he\u2019d become homeless. Bala reciprocated by telling him \u2014 a near-complete stranger \u2014 about her difficult childhood.<\/p>\n<p>And that\u2019s when an idea was born.<\/p>\n<p>Energized by the helpfulness of the confessional session, Bala began thinking about how she could offer a similar service to others.<\/p>\n<p>She logged on to Craigslist and placed a personal ad: \u201cTell me about yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It was an offer to listen, for free, to anyone interested in telling her things they\u2019d never told anyone else. She would simply listen non-judgmentally, then they would go their separate ways and that would be that.<\/p>\n<p>Bala was flooded with replies, and she soon began meeting random people at coffee shops and other public places \u2014 to hear their personal tales of drug abuse, sexual confusion and marital infidelity.<\/p>\n<p>After a while, and with her subjects\u2019 permission, Bala began writing down the stories. The result is the new book \u201cCraigslist Confessional: A Collection of Secrets From Anonymous Strangers\u201d (Gallery Books).<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think that every single person I\u2019ve spoken to has had a powerful story to tell,\u201d Bala told The Post. \u201cEach one of us has a story like this in us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Those range from tales of sex addiction to extreme depression, falling out of love with a spouse to becoming an escort to pay for drugs.<\/p>\n<p>A couple years ago, Bala\u2019s own story shifted after the writer moved from DC to New York City. She now lives on the Upper East Side with her husband and son and writes a column for the business publication Quartz.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPeople in New York are a little bit more wary, a little less open to an experience like this,\u201d the author said. \u201cHaving lived here for a couple years, I understand why you can\u2019t be too trusting of a stranger you meet online saying, \u2018Tell me your deepest secrets.\u2019\u2009\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But the meetings do still h<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>en, lasting from around two hours to as long as eight. Bala said she had to practice how to interact with her subjects so as to not appear judgmental or \u201chijack the narrative.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She admitted the job takes an emotional toll on her, but said: \u201cWhen the emotion has dissipated, you look back at these stories and you realize they\u2019re all about the strength of the human spirit \u2014 and how can that be anything other than inspirational?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here are snapshots of five of those stories.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"She_sold_her_body_to_cover_a_100-a-day_cocaine_habit\"><\/span>She sold her body to cover a $100-a-day cocaine habit<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><em>Erika, early 20s<\/em><\/p>\n<p>During Erika\u2019s freshman year of college, she felt alone and depressed. She met someone online who introduced her to cocaine, and soon found herself with a $100-a-day drug habit.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u2018I don\u2019t know how I got there and how I got so deep.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>At a house party, she met an effervescent woman named Mandy, who seemed to have stacks of cash. So Erika \u2014 broke \u2014 decided that whatever Mandy was doing, she would do.<\/p>\n<p>As it turned out, that meant becoming an escort.<\/p>\n<p>Erika placed ads online and charged between $100 and $400 a session. On weekends, she was raking in $2,000. Most of the cash went to drugs.<\/p>\n<p>One regular paid her $120 to sit on balloons. \u201cHe wanted me to look right at him, maintaining eye contact as I lowered myself onto a balloon, and then move [to another balloon] carefully \u2014 without bursting any of them,\u201d Erika told Bala.<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, Erika was busted by a cop. Only instead of arresting her, he raped her. She returned home to her parents, confessing what she\u2019d been doing, and got clean.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know how I got there and how I got so deep,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Hes_too_depressed_to_leave_his_apartment\"><\/span>He\u2019s too depressed to leave his apartment<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><em>George, 65<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m in my apartment for 95 percent of my life,\u201d the shut-in, who suffers from severe depression, told Bala. They spoke over the phone because George wasn\u2019t up to leaving the house.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou got a sense from George that these types of conversations did not happen very often. I remember a rush in his voice to get it all out, like he was stumbling over his words. It was very sad,\u201d Bala told The Post. \u201cIt was palpable, the loneliness and the isolation.\u201d<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u2018Sometimes, I\u2019m so depressed that I don\u2019t get out of bed for weeks on end.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>The man washes his clothes once or twice a year and showers maybe once a month. He goes months without taking out the trash in his apartment, which is piled with takeout containers and other trash.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSometimes, I\u2019m so depressed that I don\u2019t get out of bed for weeks on end, and when I feel better, I notice that I\u2019ve gotten bedsores,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>He was once married but was eventually \u201cdefeated by depression.\u201d He hasn\u2019t seen his daughter in more than 10 years and his son in two, and mostly passes the time by watching TV.<\/p>\n<p>George\u2019s biggest daily concern is whether this is the day he\u2019ll be found dead in his apartment.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t have cats, so at least I know I won\u2019t be partially eaten when I\u2019m found,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>In a weird way, however, he\u2019s at peace with his situation.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLife is easier now that I\u2019ve accepted my disease,\u201d George added. \u201cI have few regrets \u2026 Hey, I lived a full life.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNow, I wait.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"He_sold_out_his_friend_to_the_cops\"><\/span>He sold out his friend to the cops<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><em>Terry, 30s<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Terry and Charlie grew up together, as close as brothers, but their paths diverged after high school: Terry got a college football scholarship, while Charlie chose a life of crime.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u2018I\u2019ve always felt guilty about what I did.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>One day, Charlie called Terry and confessed he had started robbing pharmacies. He asked for his old friend\u2019s help boosting an ATM, but Terry \u201cdidn\u2019t have the stomach\u201d for it.<\/p>\n<p>A few weeks later, Charlie called back, crowing: \u201cI did it!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Terry eventually married and had a family. But he got hooked on pain pills and found himself out on the street. Charlie, now a major drug dealer, took him in. Terry began using heroin. Desperate for money, the pair turned to robbing storage units.<\/p>\n<p>The cops eventually got wise, and the only way Terry could dig himself out of trouble was to help police catch his childhood friend \u2014 so he tipped them off to his location.<\/p>\n<p>Charlie\u2019s now serving 37 years.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve always felt guilty about what I did, like I betrayed my own brother,\u201d Terry told Bala. \u201cI couldn\u2019t risk getting caught up in it. I am clean now \u2026 But, man, the past weighs on me.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"She_always_worried_her_daughter_would_die\"><\/span>She always worried her daughter would die<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><em>Edie, 60s<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In the early 1980s, Edie faced a parent\u2019s nightmare: Her 2-year-old daughter needed open-heart surgery to correct a defect.<\/p>\n<p>To prepare, she read her daughter a book about surgery and they joked about doctors wearing masks. \u201cEven though my heart ached, I couldn\u2019t let her sense my fear,\u201d Edie told Bala.<\/p>\n<p>When the girl was only 3, she needed another surgery. This time, doctors advised Edie to start planning a funeral. Despite the narrow odds, her daughter survived.<\/p>\n<p>At age 12, the girl had to have an artificial valve put in. Because it was made for an adult and too big for her small body, she had to go to the hospital about once a week to have her heart shocked back into correct rhythm.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI saw her body convulse from the shock. Every single time,\u201d Edie said. Before one visit, Edie wanted to lighten the mood, so she took her daughter to a card shop across the street.<\/p>\n<p>The girl spotted a card with a rose on it and exclaimed, \u201cI want these to be my wedding invitations.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Edie bought the card and had hundreds of identical ones printed. \u201cSometimes you need to have the audacity to believe that it will all be OK,\u201d she told Bala.<\/p>\n<p>The girl made it, and years later, as they made plans for her actual wedding day, Edie retrieved the invitations from the attic. She assured her daughter she didn\u2019t have to use them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI know I don\u2019t have to, but I really want to,\u201d the daughter replied.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Hes_ruined_his_life_by_working_out_to_be_Instagram_famous\"><\/span>He\u2019s ruined his life by working out to be Instagram famous<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><em>Scott, 30<\/em><\/p>\n<p>A fitness model, Scott spends all his waking hours working out, eating right and posting photos of himself on Instagram, five to eight times a day.<\/p>\n<p>But he\u2019s not happy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNobody in my life knows \u2026 how unhealthy it has become,\u201d Scott told Bala.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>\u2018If I stopped doing it, I would be nobody. I have to buy into it now; it\u2019s too late.\u2019<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>He started working out in middle school because he was being bullied, and hoped to develop the confidence and \u201cswagger\u201d of Arnold Schwarzenegger.<\/p>\n<p>The hobby took over his life, and now he finds it hard to maintain romantic relationships.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy last relationship ended because I couldn\u2019t let her see \u2018the real me\u2019 \u2014 the physical and psychological punishment, the grueling workouts, the bulls\u2009-\u2009-\u2009t <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social<\/a>-media posts, the image obsession,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>He admitted to being psychologically damaged, and said he goes online for validation as the likes roll in for his posts. \u201cIt\u2019s like a drug,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p>Scott knows that going to the gym as much as he and the other Instagram models do is not a healthy lifestyle. There\u2019s no balance, and he can\u2019t bring himself to think about how much damage he\u2019s done to his health.<\/p>\n<p>But it also seems like there is no end in sight.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf I stopped doing it, I would be nobody,\u201d he told Bala. \u201cI have to buy into it now; it\u2019s too late. If the cracks show, people sense it. Especially online \u2014 people are vicious.\u201d\n            <\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more Living <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/general\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">General category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>if you want to <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/watch-movies-tv-seriess\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"8\" title=\"Watch Movies &amp; TV Series\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">watch Movies<\/a> or Tv Shows go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/dizi.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Dizi.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a> <\/span> for forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2020\/07\/13\/why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#Why one woman sought out strangers\u2019 darkest secrets on Craigslist&#8221; Six years ago, Helena Dea Bala sat at a Washington, DC, Starbucks, preparing to meet a complete stranger and hear her deepest, darkest secret. Bala, a higher-education lobbyist, seemed to have a fulfilling life. She and her family had come to American from Albania when&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26645,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[38195],"class_list":["post-26644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-why-one-woman-sought-out-strangers-darkest-secrets-on-craigslist"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26644"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26644\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/26645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}