{"id":344666,"date":"2021-09-27T02:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-09-26T23:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/same-sex-moms-fight-to-keep-kids\/"},"modified":"2021-09-27T02:00:00","modified_gmt":"2021-09-26T23:00:00","slug":"same-sex-moms-fight-to-keep-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/same-sex-moms-fight-to-keep-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"#Same-sex moms&#8217; fight to keep kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;<strong>#Same-sex moms&#8217; fight to keep kids<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<div>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n        <\/aside>\n<p>What h<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>ens when someone goes nuclear on your loving household?<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the subject of \u201cNuclear Family,\u201d a three-part documentary by filmmaker and subject Ry Russo-Young, premiering Sunday on <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.hbo.com\/nuclear-family\">HBO Max<\/a>. Growing up in the 1980s, Russo-Young had what felt like a conventional New York City childhood: two parents and a sister growing up in a downtown apartment.<\/p>\n<p>The only difference? Russo-Young, now 40, had two moms, Robin Young and Sandy Russo.<\/p>\n<p>At the time, \u201cbeing gay meant that you were not going to have children,\u201d Young says in the film. \u201cIt was like you were giving up that right to have a family.\u201d But Russo \u201calways wanted kids.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Same-sex marriage was not yet legal and lesbians couldn\u2019t use sperm banks to conceive, so the loving couple took matters into their own hands and researched DIY artificial insemination. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe wanted gay men as donors,\u201d says Russo. Adds Young, \u201cNo rights, no responsibilities.\u201d  <\/p>\n<p>They reached out to two different gay men living in California (both were introduced by mutual friends) to donate the sperm needed to conceive Russo-Young and her older sister, Cade, now 41.<\/p>\n<p>One of them, a \u201ctall, dark and handsome\u201d man named Tom Steel, agreed. \u201cAs a gay man, Tom was attracted to the idea of helping lesbians have families,\u201d recalls Young.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-documentary-hbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024\" alt=\"Filmmaker Ry Russo-Young (top right) turns the cameras on her own story in &quot;Nuclear Family.&quot; She's the daughter of two lesbians who battled in court with Ry's gay sperm donor over parental rights in the '90s.\" class=\"wp-image-19547965\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-documentary-hbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-documentary-hbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-documentary-hbo.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Filmmaker Ry Russo-Young (top right) is the daughter of two lesbians who battled in court with Ry\u2019s gay sperm donor, Tom Steel, over parental rights in the \u201990s.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">NY Post photo composite<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>But eventually, Steel \u2014 sperm donor to Russo-Young \u2014 would come to have a catastrophic effect on the family.<\/p>\n<p>We watch as the moms eventually allow Steel to play a role in Russo-Young\u2019s life, including joining the family on vacations and visiting a few times a year. \u201cIn many ways, we were this perfect family,\u201d says Young.<\/p>\n<p>But even as a kid, Russo-Young saw trouble brewing: \u201cWhat I remember vaguely is that there was some tension between the adults.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Young reveals, \u201cThe problem started because Tom, the donor, didn\u2019t think \u2018I am going to fall in love with this child.&#8217;\u201d Russo chimes in: \u201cHe changed his mind!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In 1991, when Russo-Young was 9 years old, Steel sued Russo-Young\u2019s moms for paternity and visitation rights. This led to a lawsuit that threatened to tear the family apart  \u2014 at a time when the courts favored biology and lesbians faced the very real threat of losing custody.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-3.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024\" alt=\"&quot;My childhood was very magical,&quot; prior to the trial, said Ry, here with her sister Cade with their moms, Robin Young and Sandy Russo.\" class=\"wp-image-19550605\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-3.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-3.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-3.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>\u201cMy childhood was very magical,\u201d prior to the trial, said Ry, seen here with her sister Cade with their moms, Robin Young and Sandy Russo.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">HBO<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cAs parents, we were really afraid,\u201d says Russo. \u201cIt just felt like he was forgetting our promises to each other and what this was all about.\u201d <\/p>\n<p>Russo-Young\u2019s feelings were hazier \u2014 and finding clarity was one of the reasons she sought to make the film, which draws from home videos, as well as interviews with her mothers, sister and people in Steel\u2019s circle.<\/p>\n<p>The case lasted four years, during which time the moms battled for\u00a0\u201cthe family we wanted, we planned, we struggled for,\u201d says Young. <\/p>\n<p>In the end, the Manhattan appellate court voted 3-2 on a landmark decision that <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.chicagotribune.com\/news\/ct-xpm-1994-11-20-9411200085-story.html\">granted Steel legal standing as the father<\/a> of Russo-Young. However, the moms were still able to block their daughter from visiting Steel, and he was so \u201cworn down\u201d by the yearslong fight that he later dropped the case. <\/p>\n<p>In making the film and digging into the many sides of the story, Russo-Young was able to reconcile her feelings for Steel.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024\" alt=\"Sandy Russo (from left), Ry Russo-Young, Tom Steel, Cade Russo-Young and Robin Young in happier times.\" class=\"wp-image-19546878\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Sandy Russo (from left), Ry Russo-Young, Tom Steel, Cade Russo-Young and Robin Young in happier times.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">HBO<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cI had been living with such hate for him and felt so betrayed by him for so long,\u201d Russo-Young told The Post. \u201cMaking this film helped me accept those feelings as true but also accept the feelings of want I had for him prior to the lawsuit. I reconnected with the idea that I could experience both feelings at the same time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Russo-Young\u2019s goal for the film is to draw attention to every gay family, especially since the Equality Act \u2014 which amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and includes protections for LGBTQ+ people against discrimination \u2014 still has not been signed into law and significant threats remain for LGBTQ+ families.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhile the film shows how far we\u2019ve come over the past 30 years, it also shows how crippling discrimination can be,\u201d she said. \u201cIt demonstrates how damaging it can be when your family doesn\u2019t have basic protections. The film underscores how important it is for all of us to have basic human rights.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And, despite the turmoil her sperm donor caused, Russo-Young, now a mother of two young children, ultimately chose to focus on the love she felt for Steel, not the pain.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHe gave me an appreciation for my family,\u201d she said. \u201cThe fragility made it that much more precious.\u201d\n                        <\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2021\/09\/26\/nuclear-family-on-hbo-same-sex-moms-fight-to-keep-kids\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#Same-sex moms&#8217; fight to keep kids&#8221; What happens when someone goes nuclear on your loving household? That\u2019s the subject of \u201cNuclear Family,\u201d a three-part documentary by filmmaker and subject Ry Russo-Young, premiering Sunday on HBO Max. Growing up in the 1980s, Russo-Young had what felt like a conventional New York City childhood: two parents and&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":344667,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/09\/nuclear-family-documentary-hbo.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=1024","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[116592,65799,100184,77915,70446,71261],"class_list":["post-344666","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-9-26-21","tag-documentaries","tag-family-court","tag-gay-marriage","tag-lawsuits","tag-the-80s"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344666","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=344666"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/344666\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/344667"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=344666"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=344666"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=344666"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}