{"id":357344,"date":"2021-10-24T17:45:15","date_gmt":"2021-10-24T14:45:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/gaffe-or-not-inappropriate-comments-can-haunt-the-workplace\/"},"modified":"2021-10-24T17:45:15","modified_gmt":"2021-10-24T14:45:15","slug":"gaffe-or-not-inappropriate-comments-can-haunt-the-workplace","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/gaffe-or-not-inappropriate-comments-can-haunt-the-workplace\/","title":{"rendered":"#Gaffe or not, inappropriate comments can haunt the workplace"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;<strong>#Gaffe or not, in<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>ropriate comments can haunt the workplace<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<div>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n        <\/aside>\n<p>If your workplace is typical, whether it\u2019s virtual or on-site, so-called \u201cmicroaggressions\u201d are occurring all around you. According to <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/columbia.edu\">Columbia University<\/a> professor Derald W. Sue, microaggressions are \u201cbrief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019re not talking about outright racism, sexual harassment, discrimination, sexism, homophobia or other assaults that might be against the law or company policy \u2014 this is something more subtle.<\/p>\n<p>For example, a manager might think that he or she is doing a single-mother staffer a favor by leaving her out of early morning meetings and withholding challenging projects so that she has more time to spend with her kids. However, this employee might conclude that, from management\u2019s point of view, she\u2019s reached the height of her potential.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMicroaggressions can be intentional or unintentional,\u201d said Dr. Gina C. Torino, an associate professor at <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.esc.edu\/\">SUNY Empire State College<\/a>. A microaggressor can genuinely believe that they are paying a black software developer a compliment by praising him or her for \u201cbeing so articulate.\u201d Meanwhile, the coder might be frustrated by the fact that he or she is not being evaluated as an accomplished, well-educated professional.<\/p>\n<p>Dr. Veronica Johnson, an assistant professor of psychology at <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.jjay.cuny.edu\/\">John Jay College of Criminal Justice<\/a>, said that employees of Asian descent sometimes have to field questions like \u201cWhere are you from?\u201d in professional settings. If they answer, say, \u201cSan Francisco,\u201d they might be asked again: \u201cNo, where are you really from?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While the individual posing the questions may be genuinely trying to engage in a \u2018getting to know you\u2019 conversation, the Asian colleague, perhaps a second- or third-generation American, might have been made to feel different, or like they don\u2019t belong.<\/p>\n<p>One of the difficulties with microaggressions is that sometimes they\u2019re well-intended.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/microagression-0.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024\" alt=\"A microagression can potentially lead to employees feeling increased stress and impact their performance at work.\" class=\"wp-image-19895205\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/microagression-0.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/microagression-0.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/microagression-0.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>A microagression can potentially lead to employees feeling increased stress and impact their performance at work.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Shuttestock<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Take, for example, your boss who calls you \u201ckiddo.\u201d While it might have been OK when you were 22 years old and new with the firm, when you\u2019re 30 and giving a presentation to upper management, it doesn\u2019t serve you.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe intent behind the co-worker\u2019s behavior and the impact it has may be very different,\u201d said Torino.<\/p>\n<p>Microaggressions can also be ambiguous. Torino cited an example of a supervisor texting on their phone while a black woman presented a project over Zoom. The woman doesn\u2019t know if her boss has an emergency or if they feel she has nothing worthwhile to say.<\/p>\n<p>Now, if these kinds of aggressions were a one-and-done, it would be one thing, but research shows that they tend to pile up. Experts say that individuals, employers and even society at large may suffer as a result.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cContinuous microaggressions can lead to depression, anxiety, race-based traumatic stress, sleep disturbances, suicidal ideation and more,\u201d said Torino, adding that employers can suffer from a \u201cdecrease in employee job satisfaction which in turn leads to less organizational commitment and increased attrition.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/employee-boss.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1024\" alt=\"One way to deal with microagressions is the have an honest conversation with your colleague.\" class=\"wp-image-19895224\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/employee-boss.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/employee-boss.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/employee-boss.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>One way to deal with microagressions is the have an honest conversation with your colleague.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Shutterstock<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>While this is the bad <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">news<\/a>, experts believe that we can do better by learning to identify, talk about, deal with and apologize for our gaffs. \u201cWe are, for the most part, good people not intending to be hurtful,\u201d said Johnson.<\/p>\n<p>How should you deal with a microaggressor?<\/p>\n<p>Take this example from \u201cThe Office.\u201d While leading a sensitivity training session, Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell) says: \u201cThe most fundamental thing about sensitivity training is that you cannot make fun of a person for something or some action that they have no control over. You can only make fun of things that they have control over. Like Oscar is gay. That is his choice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The way to deal with this would be to \u201cbring [Scott] into the conversation about what just happened, instead of getting angry and calling him out,\u201d said Dr. Michael Baran, an author, <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social<\/a> scientist and senior partner and digital solutions lead at <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/inquestconsulting.com\/\">inQUEST Consulting.<\/a> He recommended using a script like: \u201cHey Michael, it\u2019s pretty well-known that being gay isn\u2019t a choice. It hurts me that you said that.\u201d<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignright\">\n    <\/aside>\n<p>The hope is that Scott will say, \u201cTell me more about how you feel,\u201d and a conversation begins.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s rare to find a microaggression expert who doesn\u2019t talk about men speaking over women in meetings and even taking credit for their ideas. There are plenty of ways to handle this, including saying something like, \u201cExcuse me, may I finish?\u201d However, it\u2019s even better if a third party enters the conversation and says something like, \u201cI\u2019m really interested in hearing the rest of what she has to say,\u201d said Johnson.<\/p>\n<p>Taking things lightly can also remove the sting. Imagine that you\u2019re a second-generation American of Vietnamese descent. \u201cWhen a new co-worker compliments you on your English, say something like, \u2018Thanks, you speak good English too,\u2019\u201d said Johnson.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHumor is a great way \u2014 light and nonthreatening \u2014 to point it out. It calls attention to the microaggression without being aggressive.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Most of us microaggress unintentionally, according to the experts, so apologize once you recognize it or when it\u2019s pointed out to you.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cListen to and acknowledge what the person has to say, but don\u2019t be defensive,\u201d said Johnson.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s no need to beat yourself up if you didn\u2019t intend to be hurtful, either. \u201cYou can\u2019t know everything about everyone, but you can be open-minded and learn,\u201d said Baran.\n                        <\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more News articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2021\/10\/24\/gaffe-or-not-inappropriate-comments-can-haunt-the-workplace\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#Gaffe or not, inappropriate comments can haunt the workplace&#8221; If your workplace is typical, whether it\u2019s virtual or on-site, so-called \u201cmicroaggressions\u201d are occurring all around you. According to Columbia University professor Derald W. Sue, microaggressions are \u201cbrief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership.\u201d We\u2019re not talking about&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":357345,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2021\/10\/microagression-work.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=1024","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[117973,71736,71737,71693,5031],"class_list":["post-357344","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-10-24-21","tag-at-work","tag-career-advice","tag-discrimination","tag-the-workplace"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357344","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=357344"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357344\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/357345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=357344"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=357344"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=357344"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}