{"id":384002,"date":"2021-12-20T17:50:39","date_gmt":"2021-12-20T14:50:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/the-nightmare-cruise-before-christmas\/"},"modified":"2021-12-20T17:50:39","modified_gmt":"2021-12-20T14:50:39","slug":"the-nightmare-cruise-before-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-nightmare-cruise-before-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"#The nightmare cruise before Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#The nightmare cruise before Christmas<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n

CHRISTMAS CRUISE GONE WRONG<\/span><\/p>\n

Written by: <\/span><\/p>\n

Shannon Proudfoot <\/span><\/p>\n

In collaboration with:<\/span><\/p>\n

Documents filed in the <\/span><\/p>\n

Southern District of Florida<\/span><\/p>\n

U.S. Federal Court<\/span><\/p>\n

* This fictionalized account is based on a lawsuit filed by Sharilyne Anderson and Vera Melnyk. None of the claims have been tested in court. <\/span><\/p>\n

INTERIOR COZY COTTAGE-LIKE ROOM – NIGHT<\/span><\/p>\n

FOUR DOE-EYED CHILDREN WEARING PAJAMAS ARE GATHERED AT THE FEET OF A BEARDED ELDERLY MAN CLAD IN RED VELOUR PANTS, A\u00a0WHITE THERMAL LONG-SLEEVED SHIRT AND SUSPENDERS. A FIREPLACE CRACKLES FESTIVELY IN THE BACKGROUND. THE MAN TURNS TO A BOOKSHELF BESIDE HIS CHAIR AND RETRIEVES A LARGE, LEATHER-BOUND VOLUME WITH GILT-EDGED PAGES. WITH GREAT CARE, HE OPENS ITS COVER AND TURNS BACK TO HIS RAPT AUDIENCE, BECKONING THEM CLOSER.<\/span><\/p>\n

MAN<\/span><\/p>\n

Children, tonight I have for you a story about a very special Christmas voyage that did not go at all as planned. This little adventure was supposed to take place in waters as warm and gentle as a hug from Mrs. Claus (he chuckles), but instead it unfolded on the unforgiving blizzard of the high seas. It all began one year ago, in a place that is at once very distant and ever so near to us now: PandemicLand.<\/span><\/p>\n

SCENE DISSOLVES TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

INTERIOR LUXURIOUS CONDO – NIGHT<\/span><\/p>\n

THROUGH THE WINDOWS, A LARGE CITY DUSTED WITH SNOW IS VISIBLE. IN ONE CORNER OF THE ROOM STANDS A TOWERING CHRISTMAS TREE BEDECKED IN RED, GOLD AND BLACK DECORATIONS; AT THE APEX OF THE TREE IS AN ENORMOUS GOLD CENTURION HELMET. A MAN AND WOMAN, EUGENE AND SHARILYNE, RECLINE ON ADJACENT SOFAS. HE IDLY FLIPS TV CHANNELS WHILE SHE THUMBS THROUGH HER PHONE. THERE IS A PALPABLE AIR OF RESTLESSNESS AND ENNUI.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sick of being cooped up like this, Eugene. Who knows when this pandemic will end? Can\u2019t we find some way to escape our Canadian isolated existence over the holidays?<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE <\/span><\/p>\n

(suddenly brightening)<\/span><\/p>\n

You know, that\u2019s a great idea. We should go somewhere warm, and take our family and friends with us. Hey, what about a Christmas cruise on that yacht charter in the Bahamas that we previously enjoyed? <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, I love that idea.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll get in touch with the charter broker we dealt with last time.<\/span><\/p>\n

BRIEF MONTAGE: <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE TAPS RAPIDLY ON HIS PHONE. AT THE RECEIVING END OF THAT MESSAGE, A PHONE PINGS NEXT TO A MAN SITTING IN A TROPICAL ENVIRONMENT, WITH PALM TREES AND OPEN WATER VISIBLE BEHIND HIM. HE READS THE MESSAGE, CLICKS AROUND RAPIDLY FOR SEVERAL MINUTES, THEN SENDS A REPLY. BACK INSIDE THE CONDO IN THE SNOW-BOUND CITY, EUGENE\u2019S PHONE SIGNALS AN INCOMING MESSAGE WITH THE SOUND OF LYNDON SLEWIDGE SINGING THE FINAL NOTES OF O CANADA.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Hey, the broker got back to me, Sharilyne. Looks like there are two yachts available for Christmas week. I\u2019m sending you the details now.<\/span><\/p>\n

EACH THUMB THROUGH THEIR PHONES FOR SEVERAL MINUTES. THE MOOD IN THE ROOM HAS NOTICEABLY LIGHTENED. EVEN THE LIGHTS ON THE CHRISTMAS TREE SEEM TO GLOW WARMER. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Did you look at the one called <\/span>Reverie<\/span>? It sounds pretty amazing. <\/span><\/p>\n

(She reads from a website.) <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe luxury of her opulent interior and her unique on-board lifestyle offerings accommodate the needs of the most discerning guest.\u201d That\u2019s us!<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a 60-metre luxury motor yacht. That sounds perfect! It says here that \u201cthe experienced and highly professional crew will meet your every need and desire to ensure a magnificent voyage.\u201d <\/span>Should we go for it? <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Absolutely. You call your mom and tell her the plan and I\u2019ll invite some other friends and family, then start packing. <\/span><\/p>\n

BRIEF MONTAGE: <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE AND SHARILYNE CALL THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THEN PACK FOR A TROPICAL DESTINATION. FINALLY, THEY BOARD A FLIGHT, SINK INTO THEIR LEATHER-UPHOLSTERED SEATS WITH A SIGH OF RELIEF, AND A FLIGHT ATTENDANT MATERIALIZES TO HAND EACH A DRINK IN A HOLLOWED-OUT COCONUT TOPPED BY A TROPICAL BLOOM AND A LITTLE PAPER UMBRELLA. A MUSICAL MEDLEY THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEACH BOYS BUT IS NOT FOR REASONS OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND PRODUCTION COSTS PLAYS OVER THE FOOTAGE. <\/span><\/p>\n

EXTERIOR EXPANSIVE YACHT DECK – DAYTIME<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE AND EUGENE BOARD THE YACHT, THE TEAL WATERS AND PALM TREE SPIKES OF NASSAU VISIBLE BEYOND THE DECK\u2019S GLEAMING GLASS RAILINGS. THE CREW LINES UP TO GREET THEM, AND CAPTAIN BRUCE EDMONDSON STEPS FORWARD TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF BRUSQUELY.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN EDMONDSON<\/span><\/p>\n

Welcome to Reverie. I\u2019m Captain Edmondson and I\u2019ll be handling the boat for the next week or so. We should be leaving the harbour shortly. We can meet tomorrow once you get your sea legs to discuss our route. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE AND SHARILYNE OPEN THEIR MOUTHS TO REPLY, BUT THE CAPTAIN<\/span>\u00a0STRIDES AWAY ABRUPTLY.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

(sotto voce)<\/span><\/p>\n

Eugene, was it just me or did you find the captain a bit rude?<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Yeah, he was not friendly. And it looks like he\u2019s never been on this boat before.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Also, wasn\u2019t he a bit…odorous?<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

I noticed that, yeah<\/span>. Disgusting. Let\u2019s see how things go tomorrow, maybe he\u2019s just stressed about getting the trip<\/a> underway. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hey, let\u2019s go over to the sun deck with a drink to watch the yacht leave the harbour. We should be on our way soon.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

(brightening)<\/span><\/p>\n

At least this boat presents the right balance of large yacht ambiance blended with the compelling attraction of a warm and congenial nautical experience. <\/span><\/p>\n

THEY GO UP TO THE SUN DECK, STRETCH OUT ON LOUNGE CHAIRS AND STAFF MEMBERS BRING DRINKS AND SNACKS. THROUGH TIME-LAPSED FOOTAGE, WE SEE THEM FINISH THEIR DRINKS AND ORDER OTHERS. THEY WALK OVER TO THE RAILING TO PEER DOWN AT THE DOCK, WHERE WORKERS ARE STILL HAULING SUPPLIES ON BOARD. THEY RETURN TO THEIR LOUNGE CHAIRS, PAW LISTLESSLY AT THEIR PHONES, THEN APP<\/a>EAR TO FALL ASLEEP. WHEN THEY AWAKEN, THEY GLANCE AROUND, CONFUSED, THEN SIGH IN DISAPPOINTMENT WHEN IT BECOMES APPARENT THAT THE YACHT IS STILL DOCKED. FINALLY, AS THE SKY IS DARKENING, THE YACHT LURCHES INTO MOTION. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s about time! I can\u2019t wait to feel those open sea breezes. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE AND SHARILYNE TURN TO EACH OTHER AND CLINK GLASSES, BUT THEIR GRINS ARE WOBBLY RATHER THAN TRIUMPHANT.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

(glancing around the deck)<\/span><\/p>\n

Hey, don\u2019t you think they\u2019ll do some sort of safety talk so we know where the lifeboats and life jackets are? They did the last time we had a charter. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, you\u2019re right. Maybe they just wanted to give us time to settle in first. <\/span><\/p>\n

(she frowns in concern, then appears to shake it off)<\/span><\/p>\n

They\u2019ll be setting dinner for us soon. I\u2019ll tell the crew we\u2019ll be ready after we leave the harbour. <\/span><\/p>\n

THEY STAND AT THE RAILING TOGETHER DRINKING IN THE VIEW OF THE RECEDING SHORELINE. THERE IS A BRIEF AURA OF CONTENTMENT AROUND THEM AT LAST. THEN THE YACHT SHUDDERS, SLOWS AND GRINDS TO A STANDSTILL. A DISTANT, GUTTURAL VOICE FROM BELOW DECK YELLS \u201cDROP ANCHOR\u201d BECAUSE IT\u2019S FUN TO ASSUME THAT SUPERYACHTS FUNCTION LIKE LEGO PIRATE SHIPS. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

What the?!<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

(turning to a uniformed crew member nearby)<\/span><\/p>\n

What\u2019s going on? Is there a problem?<\/span><\/p>\n

CREW MEMBER<\/span><\/p>\n

Captain says we\u2019re anchoring here for the night.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Why?! We just left after waiting all day! Look, the harbour is <\/span>right there<\/span>.<\/span><\/p>\n

TO MAKE HIS POINT, HE SOMEHOW PROCURES A HOCKEY STICK OUT OF THIN AIR, DROPS A PUCK ON THE DECK AND FIRES A WRIST SHOT OVER THE RAILING, WHERE IT BOUNCES OFF A PALM TREE ON SHORE AND INTO THE WATER JUST OFF THE YACHT\u2019S BOW. <\/span><\/p>\n

CREW MEMBER<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry, sir, I don\u2019t know. Captain just said we have to stop here for the night. Can I get each of you another drink? Perhaps with a little paper umbrella?<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m going to bed. This is ridiculous. <\/span><\/p>\n

HE AND SHARILYNE LEAVE THE VOLUMINOUS SUN DECK AND RETIRE TO THEIR MAGNIFICENT 1200-SQ FT MASTER SUITE. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ABOVE-AVERAGE AIRPORT HOTEL IMPREGNATED THE STARSHIP ENTERPRISE. DESPITE THE SOLIDLY-BUILT GERMAN ENGINEERING THAT MAKES THE REVERIE A VERY QUIET AND PRIVATE YACHT, EUGENE TOSSES AND TURNS, UNABLE TO SLEEP. FINALLY, HE SHUFFLES TO THE SPACIOUS SKY LOUNGE WITH ITS 103\u201d CINEMA SCREEN, PULLS OUT A DISC WITH SCRAWLED HANDWRITING ON IT AND POPS IT INTO THE DVD PLAYER. HE SINKS INTO ONE OF THE DEEP UPHOLSTERED SOFAS AS A HIGHLIGHT REEL OF DANIEL ALFREDSSON GOALS BEGINS TO PLAY ON THE SCREEN. BEFORE LONG, EUGENE IS SOUNDLY ASLEEP WITH A SOFT HALF-SMILE ON HIS FACE.<\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

INTERIOR YACHT BRIDGE – MORNING<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE AND SHARILYNE SIT WITH THE CAPTAIN AT A LARGE WOODEN TABLE. SPREAD OUT IN FRONT OF THEM ARE A NUMBER OF WRINKLED MAPS, A GLOBE AND ASSORTED BRASS MEASUREMENT INSTRUMENTS BECAUSE AGAIN, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A YACHT LOOKS LIKE, SO AM GOING WITH LEGO PIRATE SHIP.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

So, we\u2019ll sail by ourselves for the first few days and then pick up the rest of our family and friends on the 27th in Exuma. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

I can\u2019t pick them up there. Boat won\u2019t fit.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE <\/span><\/p>\n

Well, what about Nassau? They could fly in there. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN <\/span><\/p>\n

Can\u2019t pick them up there either. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Why not? <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN <\/span><\/p>\n

Look, let\u2019s talk about our route. Show me where you\u2019d like to sail.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE <\/span><\/p>\n

We want to sail between Andros and Eleuthera, here, around the Exuma District. We\u2019ve taken charters through there before and the sailing is nice and calm.<\/span><\/p>\n

HE TRACES A LINE ON THE MAP BETWEEN TWO LARGER BAHAMIAN ISLANDS, AROUND AN ARCHIPELAGO SPRINKLING OF SMALLER ISLANDS. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

The boat\u2019s too big to sail between Anderson and Elora there.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Andros and Eleuthera. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, fine, Anders and Eleanor. But the boat won\u2019t fit in there.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE <\/span><\/p>\n

No, see, we\u2019re familiar with that area. There are coral reefs and shallower waters, but we know a lot of vessels that have sailed through there. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

(becoming agitated)<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not sure what you\u2019re not getting here. The draught of the boat is too large. It will end up like a beached whale. We need to sail east of Eeyore island, out into the Atlantic so we don\u2019t run aground. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve sailed through there before and it was fine. We could get a specially experienced pilot if you like, to help you navigate. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

(more agitated and upset)<\/span><\/p>\n

I am the captain of this boat and I am <\/span>not<\/span>\u00a0navigating between those islands. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

(also agitated, flipping through his email, locating what he\u2019s looking for and stabbing a finger at his phone screen)<\/span><\/p>\n

Listen, the charter agreement I signed and paid for says, \u201cThe Captain shall comply with all reasonable orders given to him by the Charterer regarding the management, \u00a0operation and movement of the Vessel.\u201d That\u2019s me, I\u2019m the Charterer. This is the Vessel. You are the Captain. And we want to sail between these two islands. <\/span><\/p>\n

THE TRIO SIT STARING TENSELY AT EACH OTHER FOR A FEW BEATS.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

I can see we\u2019re not going to agree here. I\u2019m going to call the charter agent.<\/span><\/p>\n

HE EXITS THE BRIDGE AND CAN BE SEEN THROUGH THE WINDOWS PACING THE DECK, SPEAKING RAPIDLY INTO HIS CELL PHONE AND GESTICULATING WITH FRUSTRATION FOR SEVERAL MINUTES. EVENTUALLY HE RETURNS WITH A PRINTED MAP.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

Look, I talked to the agent and he agrees with me. This is a 60-foot boat and it cannot safely sail through those islands, I don\u2019t care how nice you think it would be. Here\u2019s the route we\u2019re going to take: east around Eleuthera, see? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

That route takes us out into the open Atlantic, absolutely not. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re going to hire a pilot to help you navigate and we are sailing among those islands, where it\u2019s nice and calm. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

(laughing derisively)<\/span><\/p>\n

You must be confused. We are going around the islands. It\u2019ll be fine, you\u2019ll see. <\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

EXTERIOR YACHT – NIGHT<\/span><\/p>\n

THE VESSEL IS TOSSED AGGRESSIVELY BY THE WAVES ON THE OPEN OCEAN IN THE DARKNESS. INSIDE THE LIGHTED BRIDGE, WE CAN SEE THE CAPTAIN, VISIBLY FLUSTERED, STRUGGLING TO CONTROL THE YACHT. PROBABLY IN REALITY HE WAS STEERING WITH SOME SLEEK AND MODERN METAL CONTROLLERS, BUT LET\u2019S GO WITH A BURNISHED WOODEN SHIP\u2019S WHEEL FOR THE SAKE OF AESTHETICS AND SEAFARING DRAMA. <\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO: <\/span><\/p>\n

INTERIOR CABIN – NIGHT<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE AND SHARILYNE SHIFT MISERABLY AROUND A DARK, CRAMPED CABIN, LURCHING UNSTEADILY WITH EVERY ROLL OF THE WAVES. THEY TAKE TURNS ATTEMPTING TO LIE ON THE BED OR STAND WITH A STEADYING HAND ON ONE WALL, BUT THEY CAN\u2019T STAY STILL. THEIR EYES ARE DARK AND HOLLOWED FROM LACK OF SLEEP. PERIODICALLY ONE OR THE OTHER RUNS TO THE WASHROOM WITH A HAND CLAPPED OVER THEIR MOUTHS. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

The crew suggested we move to this cabin further below deck so we wouldn\u2019t feel so sick, but it\u2019s done nothing to help, Eugene! <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

(violent retching in response)<\/span><\/p>\n

HE EMERGES FROM THE BATHROOM, HIS FACE ASHEN. <\/span><\/p>\n

What time is it, Sharilyne?<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

4 a.m. What time were we supposed to arrive?<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

We should have been there hours ago, this harrowing ordeal is taking twice as long as if we had gone between the islands like I told him to. <\/span><\/p>\n

THE YACHT PITCHES WITH SUDDEN INCREASED VIOLENCE AND SHARILYNE SCREAMS IN TERROR.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

What if the boat capsizes? What if it starts to sink and we\u2019re stuck on the lower decks, Eugene?! We don\u2019t even know where the safety gear is. We\u2019re trapped down here! Oh my god. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHE BEGINS TO HYPERVENTILATE AND WEEP WITH FEAR. EUGENE ATTEMPTS TO COMFORT HER, THEN RUNS TO THE BATHROOM RETCHING AGAIN. <\/span><\/p>\n

TIME-LAPSE FOOTAGE OF THEIR CABIN IS OVERLAID WITH A TRANSPARENT MAP SHOWING THE BOAT\u2019S ROUTE AROUND ELEUTHERA ISLAND THROUGH THE ATLANTIC, AND FINALLY BACK INTO THE CALMER WATERS ON THE WEST SIDE OF THE ISLAND. THE BACKGROUND BRIGHTENS TO DAYLIGHT. <\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

EXTERIOR BOAT DECK \u2014 MORNING<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN <\/span><\/p>\n

(with an air of forced nonchalance and joviality)<\/span><\/p>\n

Good morning! Bit of a jostling night at sea, wasn\u2019t it? Hope you got a good night\u2019s sleep! Thought we would head to Norman Cay for the next couple of days until we pick up the rest of your party, sound good?<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

(incredulous)<\/span><\/p>\n

Norman Cay?! Are you serious?! You told us the boat was too large for that area and that\u2019s why we had to sail to the far side of Eleuthera last night! You needlessly and recklessly exposed the vessel to the open Atlantic Ocean without barrier or break of any waves. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

That was a harrowing ordeal that needlessly and punitively subjected us to hours upon hours of waves pummeling the yacht! Now you\u2019re telling us it\u2019s fine to sail among those islands?!<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

Look, I told you, the boat was too big for the route you wanted to take. Now, do you want to sail around Norman Cay or not? <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

(looks at Sharilyne in incredulity)<\/span><\/p>\n

Sure, fine. Sounds good.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

Great. Oh, and Merry Christmas!<\/span><\/p>\n

HE PULLS A SANTA CAP OUT OF HIS POCKET AND PERCHES IT JAUNTILY ON HIS HEAD AS HE HEADS FOR THE BRIDGE, WHISTLING \u201cALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU,\u201d COMPLETE WITH MARIAH CAREY\u2019S VOCAL EMBELLISHMENTS, PURELY BECAUSE THAT AMUSES ME AND I AM WRITING THIS SCRIPT. <\/span><\/p>\n

MONTAGE:<\/span><\/p>\n

WE SEE EUGENE AND SHARILYNE\u2019S CHRISTMAS ABOARD THE YACHT. THEY OPEN PRESENTS BENEATH A TOWERING POTTED PALM STRUNG WITH LIGHTS AND CRYSTAL ORNAMENTS. IN THE MANNER OF OTHER WEALTHY PEOPLE LIKE THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY, THEY GIVE EACH OTHER GAG GIFTS. SHARILYNE HANDS EUGENE A LARGE, FLAT BOX AND HE OPENS IT WITH PALPABLE ANTICIPATION, THEN UNFURLS A 2007 THROWBACK OTTAWA SENATORS JERSEY WITH \u201cROBERTS\u201d INSCRIBED ON THE NAMEPLATE.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE <\/span><\/p>\n

(frowning briefly, perplexed, then grinning broadly)<\/span><\/p>\n

Ah, I love it! You\u2019re right, that would have been a fantastic trade, Muckler should have listened to me.<\/span><\/p>\n

HE PASSES SHARILYNE A RECTANGULAR BOX. <\/span><\/p>\n

Watch out, it\u2019s breakable!<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE UNWRAPS THE BOX, THEN CAREFULLY EXTRACTS A SCULPTURE ABOUT 18\u201d TALL. IT IS A MALE FIGURE DRESSED LIKE A SPARTAN, LURIDLY SHIRTLESS, WEARING A BRONZED HELMET PERCHED ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD SO THAT HIS EYES ARE COVERED LIKE HE\u2019S WEARING HORSE BLINDERS. THE FIGURE HOLDS A SHIELD IN HIS LEFT HAND, ON THE BACK OF WHICH CAN BE GLIMPSED TINY WRITING THAT READS \u201cRISE UP!\u201d THE FIGURE POSSESSES AN UNMISTAKABLE AIR OF VALIANT EFFORT SUBSUMED BY ABSURD DEFEAT.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh my god, the Naked Spartan! Amazing! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

THEY CLINK GLASSES AND SETTLE BACK INTO THEIR ARMCHAIRS TO WATCH THE NOW-CALM SEAS BEYOND THE LOUNGE WINDOWS. OUTSIDE ON THE DECK, TWO CREW MEMBERS SURREPTITIOUSLY MOVE A SNOW MACHINE INTO PLACE AND TURN IT ON, SO THAT IT SHOOTS FINE FLAKES of FAKE SNOW INTO THE AIR, WHICH DRIFTS GENTLY DOWN OUTSIDE THE LOUNGE WINDOWS, BECAUSE IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY, THAT IS WHAT I WOULD PAY SOMEONE TO DO AT CHRISTMAS. <\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

EXTERIOR YACHT DECK – MORNING<\/span><\/p>\n

THE YACHT IS DOCKED AT THE ELEUTHERA ISLAND MARINA FOR EUGENE AND SHARILYNE\u2019S FAMILY AND FRIENDS TO JOIN THEM ON THE CRUISE. A SMALL GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE WELCOMED WARMLY ABOARD, ALL OF WHOM CLEARLY KNOW EACH OTHER WELL AND HAVE NOT BEEN TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME. THERE IS A SPECIAL FOCUS ON VERA, EUGENE\u2019S MOTHER, A SPIRITED MATRIARCHAL FIGURE IN SOMEWHAT FRAGILE HEALTH. THE SOUNDTRACK TO THIS REUNION SOUNDS LIKE THE TINKLY SENTIMENTAL MUSIC AT THE END OF JOHN WILLIAMS\u2019S SCORE FOR \u201cHOME ALONE,\u201d BUT A JANKY STARBUCKS VERSION OF THAT, DIFFERENT ENOUGH TO AVOID LEGAL TROUBLE AND HEFTY RIGHTS PAYMENTS. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE <\/span><\/p>\n

(turning to the captain once everyone is settled on board)<\/span><\/p>\n

So, let\u2019s head south, on the west side of the Exuma District, where the waters will be calm. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

We can\u2019t. We\u2019ve been through this before. Big boat, shallow waters, won\u2019t fit.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Last time you took us out into the open ocean a few days ago was a nightmare. I am telling you to stay west of these islands, in the sheltered water. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

There\u2019s no other option, we have to go around to the east. It\u2019ll be rough getting there, but calm once we reach the next island, you\u2019ll see. <\/span><\/p>\n

HE TURNS ON HIS HEEL AND WALKS AWAY. EUGENE AND SHARILYNE LOOK AT EACH OTHER WITH DREAD, BUT THEN PLASTER NERVOUS SMILES ON THEIR FACES BEFORE THEIR GUESTS NOTICE. <\/span><\/p>\n

MONTAGE:<\/span><\/p>\n

MISERY AT SEA. THE YACHT IS AGAIN TOSSED VIOLENTLY BY THE ATLANTIC, WITH SOME OF EUGENE AND SHARILYNE\u2019S FRIENDS AND FAMILY CRAWLING ON ALL FOURS TO GET ACROSS THE PITCHING DECKS. VERA SITS FEARFULLY IN A STURDY CHAIR, A CAREGIVER STEADYING HER TO KEEP HER FROM TUMBLING OUT OF HER SEAT. ALMOST ALL OF THE GUESTS SUFFER VIOLENT BOUTS OF VOMITING FROM THE SAILING CONDITIONS. AT ONE POINT, SEVERAL GUESTS ARE SITTING IN THE DINING ROOM SIPPING LISTLESSLY AT GLASSES OF GINGER ALE AND NIBBLING PLAIN BREAD WHEN THE BOAT SUDDENLY LURCHES TO ONE SIDE AND A DECK CHAIR CRASHES THROUGH THE GLASS PARTITION ABOVE THE DINING AREA. SHARDS OF BROKEN GLASS RAIN DOWN, NARROWLY MISSING THE GUESTS WHO SCREAM IN FRIGHT. <\/span><\/p>\n

EVENTUALLY, THE SEAS CALM AS THE YACHT APPROACHES A LANDMASS WITH A SHELTERED HARBOUR.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

See, I told you it would calm down when we got to Cat Island! Smooth as glass now. This is Hawks Nest Marina, an ideal location to disembark and have some beach time. We can have a beachside barbecue here tomorrow, sound good? <\/span><\/p>\n

THE PASSENGERS DISEMBARK, STILL SLIGHTLY WOBBLY ON THEIR FEET, AND GATHER ON A DOCK. THEY WALK TOWARD THE BEACH, THEN SUDDENLY STOP SHORT. THE CAMERA IS BEHIND THEM AND PANS UPWARD TO SHOW US WHAT HAS GIVEN THEM PAUSE: THE BEACH IS FESTOONED WITH SIGNS READING \u201cDO NOT SWIM IN THE WATER DUE TO SHARKS.\u201d SHARILYNE PULLS OUT HER PHONE AND RAPIDLY TAPS ON ITS SCREEN. WE PEER OVER HER SHOULDER AS SHE CLICKS ON THE FIRST WEBSITE ABOUT HAWK\u2019S NEST MARINA AND READS: \u201cMOST AFTERNOONS HAWK\u2019S NEST MARINA FUEL DOCK IS SURROUNDED BY SHARKS FEEDING OFF ALL THE CATCH OF THE DAY! IT\u2019S LIKE BEING AT YOUR OWN AQUARIUM.\u201d THE GROUP TURNS AROUND INSTANTLY AND REBOARDS THE YACHT. <\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

EXTERIOR YACHT DECK – DAYTIME<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

IT IS NOW JANUARY 1, THE LAST DAY OF THE CRUISE. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t understand. We\u2019re at Exuma right now, why won\u2019t you let us disembark here?<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

It\u2019s too rough, it\u2019s not safe for your mother to disembark here.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

(looking over the railing at the water)<\/span><\/p>\n

The waves are exactly the same as they were when Vera boarded the boat. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019re leaving together on the dinghys, the same way my mother arrived.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m not letting anyone off this ship, I told you it\u2019s not safe here! Now, let me captain the ship. I\u2019ll take us back to Nassau and you can disembark there. <\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

We don\u2019t need to do that. Why don\u2019t you let some of us disembark here and you can drop the others off at any island with an airport and calm waters, if you think it\u2019s unsafe for Vera or anyone else to disembark here. You could even drop them off where we picked them up.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

No, I\u2019m not landing here for you to disembark.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Look, I have to make it to an important medical appointment. I need to get off this boat today.<\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ll let you all disembark in Nassau where we started. We\u2019re going around the eastern edge of Eleuthera Island to get there, for reasons we\u2019ve already been over.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

(instantly distraught)<\/span><\/p>\n

We are not going back out onto the open ocean! I cannot experience that severe fear and illness again, and I won\u2019t let you subject our family and friends to that experience.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Just stop the boat anywhere and let us get off, we don\u2019t care where. We want off this boat now. You could let us off at Eleuthera where you picked up our guests a few days ago, or any of the other islands with airports. <\/span><\/p>\n

CAPTAIN<\/span><\/p>\n

No, those are all unsafe. I can\u2019t let you off in any of those places. We\u2019re going east of Eleuthera to get you back to Nassau.<\/span><\/p>\n

MONTAGE:<\/span><\/p>\n

MORE SEAFARING SUFFERING. THE BOAT IS TOSSED BY THE ROUGH SEAS AND THE PASSENGERS LURCH AROUND MISERABLY ON BOARD. THERE IS COPIOUS VOMITING. <\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 1<\/span><\/p>\n

I am suffering from severe illness.<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 2<\/span><\/p>\n

I am suffering severe emotional harm.<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 3<\/span><\/p>\n

I feel like we are being confined against our will.<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 1<\/span><\/p>\n

How long have we been out here being buffeted needlessly by the rough seas?<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 3 <\/span><\/p>\n

18 hours being punitively compelled to sail back to the starting point against our will!<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 2<\/span><\/p>\n

Oh, thank god. There\u2019s Nassau!<\/span><\/p>\n

CUT TO:<\/span><\/p>\n

EXTERIOR YACHT DECK IN NASSAU MARINA – SUNSET<\/span><\/p>\n

THE CAPTAIN STANDS ON THE DECK CASUALLY SALUTING EACH OF THE PASSENGERS AS THEY DISEMBARK, OFFERING HIM BALEFUL GLARES AS THEY GO. <\/span><\/p>\n

THE MELNYK PARTY STANDS TOGETHER IN A BEDRAGGLED KNOT ON THE JETTY, GAZING UP AT THE YACHT FROM WHICH THEY HAVE FINALLY DISEMBARKED. THERE IS PROLONGED SILENCE AS THEY EACH ATTEMPT TO METABOLIZE THE JOURNEY THEY HAVE JUST COMPLETED.<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, that was anything other than the relaxing luxury holiday experience we were promised.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

It was a days-long voyage spent managing intense vomiting, vertigo, sleepless nights, severe anxiety and fear over potential capsizing or sinking.<\/span><\/p>\n

VERA<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t forget dodging shards of glass as deck chairs not properly secured careened into glass railings and rained shards of glass on the dining area. <\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 1<\/span><\/p>\n

That was a voyage marred with fear and uncertainty.<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 2<\/span><\/p>\n

No one seemed to be in charge or concern themselves with safety.<\/span><\/p>\n

GUEST 3 <\/span><\/p>\n

Let alone a luxury experience! \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

That captain was overwhelmed and out of control. All he did was scream at and deride the crew in front of us.<\/span><\/p>\n

SHARILYNE<\/span><\/p>\n

This was a harrowing and destructive voyage full of needless pain and injury. <\/span><\/p>\n

EUGENE<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s go home, everyone. We\u2019re all sick and exhausted, and I don\u2019t know about you, but I am fearful of ever boarding another boat. <\/span><\/p>\n

THE CAMERA PANS AWAY ABOVE THEM AS THEY BEGIN TO SHUFFLE DEJECTEDLY DOWN THE JETTY BACK TO DRY LAND. THEN THE CAMERA PULLS IN AGAIN ON THE YACHT, ZOOMING IN OVER ITS DECK AND ALL THE WAY INTO THE MAIN DECK LOUNGE. <\/span><\/p>\n

A LARGE, LEATHER-BOUND, GILT-EDGED BOOK SITS ON A SHELF BESIDE A CHAIR. THE BEARDED ELDERLY MAN FROM THE OPENING SCENE TURNS AND PULLS THE BOOK FROM THE SHELF, TURNING IT TOWARD THE CAMERA SO THAT WE CAN SEE ITS COVER: \u201cGUEST BOOK.\u201d HE FLIPS CAREFULLY THROUGH THE PAGES UNTIL HE FINDS WHAT HE\u2019S LOOKING FOR, THEN POINTS AT ONE PAGE WITH A MERRY TWINKLE IN HIS EYE. <\/span><\/p>\n

HANDWRITTEN GUEST BOOK ENTRY<\/span><\/p>\n

Dear Reverie Crew<\/span><\/p>\n

Thank you so much for such an amazing trip! It was an experience I\u2019m sure we will never forget. The few days we spent upon Reverie were action-packed, yet relaxing at the same time. The sea-bobs were a definite hit! The food was incredible as well. <\/span><\/p>\n

New Years was a great time; the decorations were absolutely gorgeous! The top deck was definitely memorable as well. Thank you so much for making this such a great experience! This was an amazing way to start the new year.<\/span><\/p>\n

The Melnyk Group <\/span><\/p>\n

THE BEARDED MAN CHUCKLES SOFTLY TO HIMSELF, THEN CLOSES THE BOOK AND RETURNS IT TO THE SHELF BESIDE HIM. LAYING HIS FINGER ASIDE OF HIS NOSE AND GIVING A NOD, HE DISAPPEARS IN A POUF OF RED AND GREEN GLITTER. <\/span><\/p>\n

A FAINTLY ECHOING \u201cHO HO HO\u201d CAN BE HEARD AS THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK.<\/span><\/p>\n

-THE END- <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n