{"id":396012,"date":"2022-01-19T08:04:00","date_gmt":"2022-01-19T05:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do\/"},"modified":"2022-01-19T08:04:00","modified_gmt":"2022-01-19T05:04:00","slug":"the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"#The Moneyist: I paid the mortgage and child support while my ex-husband was MIA for decades. He will only sell his share in our house to our daughters. What can I do?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a20b4f385323\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a20b4f385323\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do\/#%E2%80%98We_paid_for_the_mortgage_child_support_and_major_repairs_to_the_house_as_well_as_putting_my_daughters_through_college_without_any_student_loans\" >\u2018We paid for the mortgage, child support and major repairs to the house, as well as putting my daughters through college without any student loans\u2019<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do\/#Dear_Quentin\" >Dear Quentin,<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do\/#Dear_Desperate\" >Dear Desperate,<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-moneyist-i-paid-the-mortgage-and-child-support-while-my-ex-husband-was-mia-for-decades-he-will-only-sell-his-share-in-our-house-to-our-daughters-what-can-i-do\/#Quentin_Fottrell\" >Quentin Fottrell<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>#The Moneyist: I paid the mortgage and child support while my ex-husband was MIA for decades. He will only sell his share in our house to our daughters. What can I do?<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<h2 class=\"article__subhead\" itemprop=\"alternativeHeadline\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%98We_paid_for_the_mortgage_child_support_and_major_repairs_to_the_house_as_well_as_putting_my_daughters_through_college_without_any_student_loans\"><\/span>\n  \u2018We paid for the mortgage, child support and major repairs to the house, as well as putting my daughters through college without any student loans\u2019<br \/>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><\/p>\n<div class=\"column column--full article__content\" role=\"region\" aria-label=\"article body\">\n<div class=\"article__side\">\n<div class=\"container--sticky not-active\">\n<div id=\"cx-next\" data-nosnippet>\n              <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div id=\"js-article__body\" class=\"article__body article-wrap at16-col16 barrons-article-wrap\" itemprop=\"articleBody\" data-sbid=\"WP-MKTW-0000558870\" role=\"document\">\n<div class=\"barrons-article-ad-wrapper\">\n<div data-track=\"barrons-article-ad-wrap\" class=\"barrons-article-ad sticky_item\">\n<div class=\"barrons-main-article-ad-target sticky_target body_ad\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<div data-layout=\"\n                inline\" data-layout-mobile=\"\" class=\"\n          media-object\n          type-InsetArticleReader\n              \n              inline\n  article__inset\n          article__inset--type-InsetArticleReader\n              article__inset--inline\n  \"><\/p>\n<div class=\"media-object-article-reader\">\n<div class=\"audioplayer\" data-sbid=\"WP-MKTW-0000558870\" role=\"region\" aria-label=\"Listen to Article\" tabindex=\"-1\" id=\"articlereader\" data-show-title=\"false\" data-theme=\"wsj-article-reader\" data-show-header=\"false\" data-show-subscribe=\"false\" data-ads-enabled=\"true\" data-save-publication=\"false\">\n        <\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dear_Quentin\"><\/span><strong>Dear Quentin,<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/p>\n<p> My divorce decree states that I have exclusive possession of the marital residence. The deed has my ex-husband\u2019s name, and my name as his wife. I <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>roached my ex-husband to sell the house.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>He has been absent, without any knowledge of his whereabouts for several decades. He has had no contact with my younger daughter after the age of two (she is now 44) and the older daughter since she was 12 (she is now 52 years old).\u00a0<\/p>\n<div class=\"paywall\">\n       We were married for 11 years and had a 27-year mortgage to pay off. I remarried 36 years later, and we paid for the mortgage, child support and major repairs to the house, as well as putting my daughters through college without any student loans.<\/p>\n<p>I offered the amount of money that was his share of down payment and mortgage payments. He refused and stated that he wanted the house to be sold and all proceeds to go to our daughters, and will not agree to anything else. He only lived in the house for the first four years.<\/p>\n<p>Please let me know what my options are, as I have heard different answers from different attorneys and do not want to mess up with incorrect information.<\/p>\n<p>Confused and Desperate<\/p>\n<h4><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dear_Desperate\"><\/span><strong>Dear Desperate,<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/p>\n<p>It must have been an ordeal to have this hanging over your head as you struggle to pay the mortgage each month. Ideally, it\u2019s better to refinance the mortgage and title the home in one person\u2019s name at the time of the divorce. Otherwise you are left with a situation such as this, where one party takes on the financial responsibility, even though they own 50% of the house.<\/p>\n<p>Steve Braccini, an attorney with the law firm Sheppard Mullin in California, says that given that you paid off the lion\u2019s share of the remaining mortgage, you might have the option of filing a \u201cquiet title action,\u201d which is <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/general\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"3\" title=\"General\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">general<\/a>ly used when there is a disagreement over the ownership of a property, alleging that you are now the sole owner of the property.<\/p>\n<div id=\"cx-membership-tile\"><\/div>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s assuming the ex-husband did not contribute to the payoff of the mortgage in the many years since he went MIA,\u201d he says. \u201cMost importantly, the divorce decree might contain a provision for the division of assets and property, so it is important to first determine what the decree provides beyond this individual\u2019s exclusive possession of the property.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another option is to have your husband relinquish his ownership of the property, aka sign a quitclaim deed, and place your two daughters on the title of the home instead. That way, he will fulfill his pledge to ensure your children inherit the home, and should he pre-decease you, you will be in a more secure position.<\/p>\n<p>Now, a warning. First, your children would need to be trustworthy, and second, the house becomes an asset in the event either of them divorces. They get a \u200b\u200b\u201cstep-up in tax basis,\u201d meaning that the appreciation in the home over the course of your ownership is not taxed, but there are also other tax considerations, which you can read more about here. <\/p>\n<p>An alternative is for you and your ex-husband to put your house into a living trust for your children, so your shares in the property avoid probate and are transferred to them upon your deaths. Again, this would allow your husband to make good on his wish to leave his share in your property to your children, assuming he is honest about his intentions.<\/p>\n<p>These are suggestions, not recommendations. You should not make <em>any<\/em> decision before talking to a real-estate attorney about your state\u2019s laws, and analyzing your divorce decree in forensic detail. I understand that it can\u2019t always be easy living with this uncertainty, but you are right to figure out a way out of this dilemma now while you and your husband are still in good health.<\/p>\n<p>There is a way forward. You do have options.<\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Yo<em>u\u00a0<strong><em><strong>can email The Moneyist with any financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus at qfottrell@marketwatch.com, and follow Quentin Fottrell on\u00a0<a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Quantanamo\" class=\"icon none\">Twitter.<\/a><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><em><strong>Check out\u00a0<a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/groups\/moneyist\/\" class=\"icon none\">the Moneyist private Facebook<\/a><\/strong><\/em>\u00a0<em><strong>group, where we look for answers to life\u2019s thorniest money issues. Readers write in to me with all sorts of dilemmas. Post your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist columns.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong><em>The Moneyist regrets he cannot reply to questions individually.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>More from Quentin Fottrell<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<p>\u2022\u00a0\u2018Our friends always yearned for a relationship like ours\u2019: My husband of 16 years left me for another man. I don\u2019t want them to live in our properties. What can I do?<br \/>\u2022\u00a0\u2018She trusts me completely\u2019: My sister offered to pay off my credit-card bill. I\u2019ll repay her over the next 4 years. Am I taking advantage of our relationship?<br \/>\u2022\u00a0\u2018He is the most computer-illiterate person I know\u2019: I was my husband\u2019s research analyst, caregiver, cook and housekeeper. Now he wants a divorce after 38 years.<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<p><\/p>\n<div class=\"byline article__byline\">\n<p>    <span>By<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"author mobile-scrim hasMenu\" data-scrim='{\"type\":\"author\",\"header\":\"Quentin Fottrell\",\"subhead\":\"The Wall Street Journal\",\"list\":[{\"type\":\"link\",\"icon\":\"bio\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.marketwatch.com\/topics\/journalists\/quentin-fottrell\",\"text\":\"Biography\"},{\"type\":\"link\",\"icon\":\"twitter\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/Quantanamo\",\"text\":\"@Quantanamo\"},{\"type\":\"link\",\"icon\":\"facebook\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/Quantanamo\",\"text\":\"Quantanamo\"},{\"type\":\"link\",\"icon\":\"email\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.marketwatch.com\/news\/mailto:qfottrell@marketwatch.com\",\"text\":\"qfottrell@marketwatch.com\"}]}' itemscope itemprop=\"author\" itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Person\">\n<h4 itemprop=\"name\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Quentin_Fottrell\"><\/span>Quentin Fottrell<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p><script async src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"http:\/\/www.marketwatch.com\/news\/story.asp?guid=%7B20C05575-04D4-B545-7887-16A68F145D06%7D&#038;siteid=rss&#038;rss=1\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#The Moneyist: I paid the mortgage and child support while my ex-husband was MIA for decades. He will only sell his share in our house to our daughters. What can I do?&#8221; \u2018We paid for the mortgage, child support and major repairs to the house, as well as putting my daughters through college without any&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":396013,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/images.mktw.net\/im-284213\/social","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-396012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/396012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=396012"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/396012\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/396013"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=396012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=396012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=396012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}