{"id":433282,"date":"2022-04-18T03:35:01","date_gmt":"2022-04-18T00:35:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/what-the-pandemic-and-aging-taught-me-about-whats-important\/"},"modified":"2022-04-18T03:35:01","modified_gmt":"2022-04-18T00:35:01","slug":"what-the-pandemic-and-aging-taught-me-about-whats-important","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/what-the-pandemic-and-aging-taught-me-about-whats-important\/","title":{"rendered":"#What the pandemic \u2014\u00a0and aging \u2014 taught me about what&#8217;s important"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3cc50867ebc\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3cc50867ebc\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/what-the-pandemic-and-aging-taught-me-about-whats-important\/#%E2%80%9CWhat_the_pandemic_%E2%80%94_and_aging_%E2%80%94_taught_me_about_whats_important%E2%80%9D\" >&#8220;What the pandemic \u2014\u00a0and aging \u2014 taught me about what&#8217;s important&#8221;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CWhat_the_pandemic_%E2%80%94_and_aging_%E2%80%94_taught_me_about_whats_important%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>&#8220;What the pandemic \u2014\u00a0and aging \u2014 taught me about what&#8217;s important&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<div>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n<div class=\"inline-module inline-module--columnist inline-module--author\">\n<div class=\"inline-module--author__img\">\n            <img decoding=\"async\" width=\"76\" height=\"69\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2013\/08\/karol-markowicz.png?w=76&amp;h=69&amp;crop=1\" class=\"attachment-nyp_columnist size-nyp_columnist\" alt=\"Karol Markowicz\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2013\/08\/karol-markowicz.png 76w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2013\/08\/karol-markowicz.png?w=38 38w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 76px) 100vw, 76px\"\/>       <\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<p>Five years ago, I turned 40 and wrote a short list of tips and suggestions for people my age, women especially, not to fade.<\/p>\n<p>Since then, we\u2019ve gone through a global pandemic, and fading became secondary to just living. We stayed in our homes for way too long, paused our lives as if that were possible and let what is important slip away from many of us. At 45 I recommit to living my life as fully as possible. Here are some ways you can too:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You might be lying about your age by now. Don\u2019t. You don\u2019t want people to think you\u2019re a really old-looking 35. Society should know what a 45-year-old looks like. Say it: I\u2019m 45 and proud of it.<\/li>\n<li>That doesn\u2019t mean you shouldn\u2019t care about how you look. Don\u2019t be ashamed if you like Botox or Spanx, whatever puts a pep in your step. Feeling beautiful isn\u2019t something we leave just to younger women. Men too, take care of yourselves. Have a sense of your own style. Dress up when you go out. Try.<\/li>\n<li>Continue learning. Change your mind sometimes. It\u2019s OK and normal to adjust your opinions, even on long-held beliefs, as new information becomes available.<\/li>\n<li>Do not argue with friends and acquaintances on Facebook. Especially do not argue with family on Facebook. The medium is made for you to peruse pictures of your friend\u2019s vacations and either \u201cYasssss, girl\u201d their fashion choices in the comments or judge them silently. It is not intended for a debate on the war in Ukraine with your friend from third grade. If you must argue on <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social media<\/a>, the <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a> for you is Twitter.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"683\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_2025161864.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Woman angry on laptop\" class=\"wp-image-21936629\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_2025161864.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=2048 2048w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_2025161864.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1536 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_2025161864.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_2025161864.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Reduce COVID political arguments over social media, especially with family. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Shutterstock<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<ul>\n<li>Similarly, I often hear from people who have had frayed relations with their family or friends over politics. Rethink this. There\u2019s a great line in the film \u201cA Bronx Tale\u201d in which a warm-hearted gangster, played by Chazz Palminteri, reminds a young boy, \u201cMickey Mantle don\u2019t care about you, so why should you care about him?\u201d Do not let politicians you don\u2019t actually know get between you and your family. No one ever wins political arguments with loved ones.<\/li>\n<li>That doesn\u2019t mean you shouldn\u2019t believe in things strongly and fight for those beliefs in other parts of your life. Have ideals and pursue ways to effect change. Just don\u2019t bother trying to convert Aunt Agnes over Christmas. Bond over commonalities, like how funny Uncle Edgar gets after he hits the eggnog. There is a time and a place for activism. Do not believe professional activists who say you need to be constantly battling with your family.<\/li>\n<li>COVID has specifically hurt a lot of familial relationships. Maybe Agnes wore her $2 cloth Old Navy mask like a shield for too long. Maybe Edgar didn\u2019t get the vaccine. Remember that while our health officials let us down with their politicized advice, regular people did their best with the information at hand. Rebuild relationships with the people you love. What we should have learned during our time apart is that family and friendship are everything.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_668631760.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Mom looking into daughters face\" class=\"wp-image-21936625\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_668631760.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_668631760.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_668631760.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Parents should remember their needs are important too, so it\u2019s ok to put yourself first. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Shutterstock<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<ul>\n<li>Five years ago, I wrote, \u201cIf you\u2019re a parent, don\u2019t revolve your life around your kids. Love them, nurture them, spend time with them, but don\u2019t let them be your \u2018whole world.\u2019 When they grow up, you want to still have a world.\u201d I stand by much of that and continue to believe that having a life outside your children is so important. But when the pandemic hit and society left kids behind, many of us, me included, rearranged our entire lives to help our kids. Remember that sometimes adjustments need to be made and you\u2019re not betraying who you are by making them.<\/li>\n<li>If you\u2019re in a relationship, recognize it needs attention. \u201cGray divorce,\u201d or divorce over 50, has <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bgsu.edu\/ncfmr\/resources\/data\/family-profiles\/allred-gray-divorce-rate-geo-var-2017-fp-19-20.html\">nearly doubled<\/a> since 1990. We get into our ruts and forget to focus on each other. Go to dinner. Hold hands. Take pictures of each other and together. Talk highly of your spouse behind his back. Kiss a lot. Remember the excitement of falling in love and the comfort of the early settled days. Love each other openly and all the time.\u00a0<\/li>\n<li>If you\u2019re not in a relationship but want to be, remember the wise words of the famous philosopher of our youth, Axl Rose: If \u201cyou ain\u2019t got no one, you better go back out and find her.\u201d Your person will not find you in your living room. If the pandemic has turned you into a homebody, find your way back out.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>We\u2019ve been through a lot in the past two years but returning to what we were is not impossible. Focus on what and who matters. Don\u2019t fade; go live.<\/p>\n<p><em>Twitter: @Karol<\/em>\n                        <\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2022\/04\/17\/what-the-pandemic-and-aging-taught-me-about-whats-important\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;What the pandemic \u2014\u00a0and aging \u2014 taught me about what&#8217;s important&#8221; Five years ago, I turned 40 and wrote a short list of tips and suggestions for people my age, women especially, not to fade. Since then, we\u2019ve gone through a global pandemic, and fading became secondary to just living. We stayed in our homes&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":433283,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/04\/shutterstock_1849674091-1.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&w=1024","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[128119,104141,76715,81046,1545],"class_list":["post-433282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-4-17-22","tag-age","tag-aging","tag-birthdays","tag-coronavirus"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=433282"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/433282\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/433283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=433282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=433282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=433282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}