{"id":458010,"date":"2022-06-05T14:31:26","date_gmt":"2022-06-05T11:31:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/"},"modified":"2022-06-05T14:31:26","modified_gmt":"2022-06-05T11:31:26","slug":"how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/","title":{"rendered":"#How to address major life changes with co-workers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a2991462e4e8\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a2991462e4e8\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/#%E2%80%9CHow_to_address_major_life_changes_with_co-workers%E2%80%9D\" >&#8220;How to address major life changes with co-workers&#8221;<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-2' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/#Coming_out\" >Coming out<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/#Changing_your_pronouns\" >Changing your pronouns<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/#Youre_going_through_a_divorce\" >You\u2019re going through a divorce<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CHow_to_address_major_life_changes_with_co-workers%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>&#8220;How to address major life changes with co-workers&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<div>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n<\/aside>\n<p>Life is tough enough. For many, talking to colleagues during a big life transition can be yet another burden to shoulder during an already stressful time.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMajor life changes are a part of our developmental and personal life\u2019s journey,\u201d said Nkem Okakpu, Ph.D., LPC, a therapist based out of Clifton and Scotch Plains, NJ. \u201cUnfortunately no matter how personal some events are, those parts of yourself might also be present in the workplace.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>These run the gamut from identified gender to a leave due to medical reasons.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThese may require not validation from colleagues, but recognition. I would prompt you to ask yourself, \u2018What parts of this journey are necessary for the work culture, work interactions and your work self?\u2019\u201d said Okakpu. \u201cYou have the autonomy to choose how much you share.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Should you decide to speak up, it\u2019s possible to navigate these moments with confidence. \u201cAddressing major life changes at work can be important for maintaining a sense of authenticity and connection in the workplace,\u201d said Lauren Borkowski, MA, LPC, a licensed professional counselor based in Longmont, Colo., noting that, \u201cIt\u2019s essential to feel seen and heard by your team, as well as feeling safe enough to share \u2026 [but] it can be difficult to determine how your colleagues might react.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-2.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Young Asian tomboy woman in casual attire working from home\" class=\"wp-image-22529282\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-2.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-2.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-2.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>The choice to inform colleagues of life changes is up to you, but here are some ways to do it if you choose to do so. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Getty Images\/iStockphoto<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>For that reason, Borkowski also recommends weighing the pros and cons of sharing your <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">news<\/a>, whether it\u2019s a pronoun change or announcing your divorce. It can be helpful to discuss this with a trusted friend or therapist first. Then, \u201cCheck in with your support system again to help process your feelings and address any other needs that come up,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>Ahead, how to share such news gracefully, and perhaps even spare your co-workers any potential faux pas and discomfort along the way.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Coming_out\"><\/span><strong>Coming out<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>There\u2019s no one-size-fits-all <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>roach for this, offers Valatie, NY-based Finn Schubert, MPH, a career coach and consultant who specializes in workforce issues for trans and nonbinary people, and who is currently creating a transgender-specific workforce development curriculum for the nonprofit TransNewYork.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLet your choices be guided by what you know of your specific workplace, as well as your personal goals,\u201d he said, adding that the best way to do it is the way that you are most comfortable with.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-4.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Woman's hand working in office with LGBT decor and accessories.\" class=\"wp-image-22529284\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-4.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-4.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace-4.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>There are many options for how you might want to share your sexuality if you choose to do so. <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Getty Images\/iStockphoto<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u201cSome people want their co-workers to know that they identify as gay, and so they find it easiest to slip it into casual conversation,\u201d he said. \u201cSome people who are transitioning may need to discuss specific logistical issues, for example, strategizing with their boss about how to inform clients of their name change, and so they may find it easier to schedule a meeting with their boss to ensure all the points are covered.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Schubert emphasized that people will <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/general\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"3\" title=\"General\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">general<\/a>ly respond in kind in terms of how you approach it \u2014 if you act like it\u2019s not a big deal, people will follow your lead, and vice versa.<br \/>And if you decide not to share, that\u2019s A-OK. \u201cA cisgender heterosexual person is typically not expected to make announcements about sexuality, and perhaps the same thought should be applied to all people,\u201d said Okakpu.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Changing_your_pronouns\"><\/span><strong>Changing your pronouns<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>Schubert says that this announcement is also highly workplace-dependent, but there are some guiding questions that may help you hone in on how you want to handle sharing the news: Has anyone else at your workplace changed their pronouns, and if so, how was this handled? Do your co-workers have a basic understanding of trans identities, or will announcing your pronoun change mean providing \u201cTrans 101\u201d education? How are similar changes (such as name changes due to marriage) handled in your workplace? \u201cIt\u2019s important to normalize pronoun changes alongside other changes, like name changes, that happen commonly in the workplace,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Young businesswoman \" class=\"wp-image-22529286\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/workplace.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Announcing big life changes in the workplace can be challenging.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Getty Images<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>While some prefer simply to update their signature line without any fanfare, many people prefer to announce their pronoun change in a brief email or announcement, offered Schubert. \u201cEither way, in most cases, it\u2019s a good idea to give your boss a heads-up so that it doesn\u2019t come as a surprise, and so that the two of you can strategize, if necessary, about how to handle any issues that may arise,\u201d he said. \u201cYou can also let a few trusted co-workers know beforehand, and let them know if there is anything that they can do that would be helpful for you,\u201d such as correcting or educating others.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Youre_going_through_a_divorce\"><\/span><strong>You\u2019re going through a divorce<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cColleagues are curious about each other and their relationship statuses. It can be difficult to discuss divorces, breakups, and name changes,\u201d said Borkowski, stressing that it can also be a helpful part of the healing process.<\/p>\n<p>Try talking to your manager and your human resources department. \u201cThey may also have suggestions about possible <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social<\/a> and emotional supports such as seeking counseling through your employee assistance program or finding a divorce recovery group,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n<p>Getting support from a trained counselor can help you further assess how to discuss your breakup or divorce with others. \u201cIt is important to honor your needs and the healing process. If you don\u2019t feel ready to share with colleagues, it\u2019s OK to wait,\u201d said Borkowski.<br \/>Like all other major life changes, it\u2019s up to you to decide what you want to share and what you want to keep private. \u201cConsider which parts of this event show up at work. Perhaps, discussing your relationship at work may not serve you in any way within your role,\u201d said Okakpu.\n                        <\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more News articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2022\/06\/05\/how-to-address-major-life-changes-with-co-workers\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;How to address major life changes with co-workers&#8221; Life is tough enough. For many, talking to colleagues during a big life transition can be yet another burden to shoulder during an already stressful time. \u201cMajor life changes are a part of our developmental and personal life\u2019s journey,\u201d said Nkem Okakpu, Ph.D., LPC, a therapist based&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":458011,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/newspress-collage-22527648-1654293480351.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&1654279303&w=1024","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[129954,71736,71737,23261],"class_list":["post-458010","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-6-5-22","tag-at-work","tag-career-advice","tag-lgbtq"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458010","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=458010"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/458010\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/458011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=458010"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=458010"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=458010"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}