{"id":462290,"date":"2022-06-13T23:09:39","date_gmt":"2022-06-13T20:09:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/were-soft-swingers-and-our-marriage-has-never-been-better\/"},"modified":"2022-06-13T23:09:39","modified_gmt":"2022-06-13T20:09:39","slug":"were-soft-swingers-and-our-marriage-has-never-been-better","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/were-soft-swingers-and-our-marriage-has-never-been-better\/","title":{"rendered":"#We&#8217;re &#8216;soft swingers&#8217; and our marriage has never been better"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3ed74f16a30\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3ed74f16a30\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/were-soft-swingers-and-our-marriage-has-never-been-better\/#%E2%80%9CWere_%E2%80%98soft_swingers_and_our_marriage_has_never_been_better%E2%80%9D\" >&#8220;We&#8217;re &#8216;soft swingers&#8217; and our marriage has never been better&#8221;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CWere_%E2%80%98soft_swingers_and_our_marriage_has_never_been_better%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>&#8220;We&#8217;re &#8216;soft swingers&#8217; and our marriage has never been better&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<div>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignleft\">\n<\/aside>\n<p>Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from northern New Jersey who can\u2019t keep their hands off each other because of their secret life \u2014 the two enjoy \u201csoft-sw<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>ing,\u201d or cavorting naked with other couples in hotel rooms and at sex parties without ever \u201cgoing all the way.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe don\u2019t do intercourse but everything else is good,\u201d Cleo told The Post.\u00a0(She and the other  soft-swappers interviewed for this article asked that their names be changed to protect their anonymity.)<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSoft-swapping\u201d \u2014 or \u201csoft-swinging\u201d \u2014 is unusual enough that even noted sexperts weren\u2019t overly familiar with the topic until a TikTok went viral earlier this month and brought attention to the saucy lifestyle.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe whole group was intimate with each other,\u201d Mormon <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social<\/a>-media influencer Taylor Frankie Paul\u00a0revealed\u00a0<a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.tiktok.com\/@violetangelsx\/video\/7101791812892839211?_t=8SpMePgnKrD&amp;_r=1\">on a TikTok livestream<\/a>, referring to her and her husband Tate\u2019s unorthodox relationships with other couples in Utah. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cTate has made out with several girls and other things, and I\u2019ve made out with all of the husbands and vice versa,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-style-default\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"933\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/taylor_frankie_paul.jpg?w=933\" alt=\"Mormon influencer Taylor Frankie Paul \" class=\"wp-image-22639699\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/taylor_frankie_paul.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1866 1866w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/taylor_frankie_paul.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1399 1399w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/taylor_frankie_paul.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=933 933w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/taylor_frankie_paul.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=466 466w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/taylor_frankie_paul.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 933px) 100vw, 933px\"\/><figcaption>\u201cSoft-swapping\u201d \u2014 or \u201csoft-swinging\u201d \u2014 is unusual enough that even noted sexperts weren\u2019t overly familiar with the topic until Mormon influencer Taylor Frankie Paul went viral on TikTok for talking about it.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">taylorfrankiepaul\/Instagram<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>While Paul said soft-swinging contributed to the destruction of her marriage to Tate, experts say the \u201cesoteric\u201d practice can be a safer way for couples to get kinky.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt could be a risk-mitigation strategy in that it allows for some degree of sexual novelty without taking as much risk for STIs and\/or unintended pregnancy,\u201d Dr. Justin Lehmiller, host of the \u201c<a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.sexandpsychology.com\/podcasts\/\">Sex and Psychology Podcast<\/a>,\u201d told The Post.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s the case for Donna, a 40-something Queens divorc\u00e9e who enjoys the sex-party scene but soft-swaps to avoid the risks of going all the way.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRight now I freak out about STDs and wish people had STD cards, like COVID cards,\u201d Donna told The Post. She said the practice allows her to \u201cenjoy\u201d others in a way that\u2019s more \u201ccomfortable\u201d for her. \u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large is-resized is-style-default\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap5.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Cleo talked to her husband about soft-swapping and had to convince him at first.\" class=\"wp-image-22639772\" width=\"618\" height=\"411\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap5.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1233 1236w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap5.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=925 927w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap5.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=618 618w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap5.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=308 309w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap5.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 618px) 100vw, 618px\"\/><figcaption>Cleo talked to her husband about soft-swapping and had to convince him at first.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Stefano Giovannini<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Hank and Cleo\u2019s soft-swapping journey started around 2018. Over cocktails with girlfriends on a Caribbean vacation, Cleo shared how much she\u2019d enjoyed occasional group experiences in college. Now that she was married, she felt like that was no longer an option.<\/p>\n<p>A friend questioned her thinking, so Cleo decided to broach the subject with Hank. He was initially not amused. <\/p>\n<p>\u201cI said, \u2018You\u2019re outta your f- -king mind,\u2019\u201d Hank recalled with a laugh.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>But his opinion quickly changed when he got \u201creally turned on\u201d filling out applications to NYC sex clubs Chemistry and Hacienda.\u00a0Shortly thereafter, the couple found themselves enjoying the company of naked strangers, albeit with restrictions.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOur do-or-die rule [is]: We do everything together in the same room at the same time,\u201d Hank said.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"682\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap2.jpg?w=1024\" alt=\"Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from north Jersey who enjoy &quot;soft-swapping,&quot; which includes everything but sex with others.\" class=\"wp-image-22636506\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap2.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1535 1536w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap2.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap2.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=512 512w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\"\/><figcaption>Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from New Jersey who enjoy \u201csoft-swapping,\u201d allowing them to be sexually intimate, but not have full-on sex, with other people.<\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Stefano Giovannini<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"818\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap8.jpg?w=818\" alt=\"Cleo and Hank are soft swingers\" class=\"wp-image-22640998\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap8.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1636 1636w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap8.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1227 1227w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap8.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=818 818w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap8.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all&amp;w=409 409w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap8.jpg?quality=75&amp;strip=all 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 818px) 100vw, 818px\"\/><figcaption>Cleo and Hank have been married for more than 10 years and \u201cdo everything together in the same room at the same time.\u201d <\/figcaption><figcaption><span class=\"credit\">Stefano Giovannini<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>That \u201ceverything\u201d includes threesomes and foursomes. And while intercourse isn\u2019t on the menu \u2014 making out, foreplay, mutual masturbation and oral sex are.<\/p>\n<p>Cleo says soft-swapping feels like a more \u201cfeminist\u201d way to indulge her fantasies since it\u2019s not so focused on \u201cthinking about the man\u2019s pleasure,\u201d but rather becomes a way to fulfill a \u201cneed to be touched but also psychologically aroused.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<aside class=\"single__inline-module alignright\">\n    <\/aside>\n<p>\u201cAnother benefit of soft-swapping for women is that we have so many parts that feel good when touched, and realistically one person can\u2019t get to all of them at once,\u201d Cleo said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Still, it hasn\u2019t always been easy.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>After their first <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/trip-and-travel\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"10\" title=\"Trip &amp; Travel\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">trip<\/a> to the Brooklyn-based sex party Chemistry, Cleo and Hank returned to their hotel as the sun rose over Manhattan and immediately had a screaming match in the street.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>They argued over whether either of them had fun that night, or who\u2019d had the most fun, before decamping to their suite to enjoy another hour of great sex together.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe were just exhausted,\u201d Hank said.\u00a0\u201cIt was a big flood of emotions but I wouldn\u2019t say jealousy plays any part in it,\u201d he insisted.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The\u00a0couple\u2019s soft-swapping escapades may have brought them closer, too.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI feel more people would be happier, and happier in their marriages, if they just opened them up a little,\u201d Cleo said.\u00a0\u00a0\n                        <\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2022\/06\/13\/were-soft-swingers-and-our-marriage-has-never-been-better\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;We&#8217;re &#8216;soft swingers&#8217; and our marriage has never been better&#8221; Hank and Cleo are married 40-something realtors from northern New Jersey who can\u2019t keep their hands off each other because of their secret life \u2014 the two enjoy \u201csoft-swapping,\u201d or cavorting naked with other couples in hotel rooms and at sex parties without ever \u201cgoing&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":462291,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2022\/06\/soft_swap2.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&w=1024","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[130276,74164,23262,71680,130243],"class_list":["post-462290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-6-13-22","tag-marriage","tag-sex","tag-sex-and-relationships","tag-swinging"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=462290"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/462290\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/462291"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=462290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=462290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=462290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}