{"id":520058,"date":"2022-12-02T17:31:40","date_gmt":"2022-12-02T14:31:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/the-gig-what-its-like-being-a-death-doula\/"},"modified":"2022-12-02T17:31:40","modified_gmt":"2022-12-02T14:31:40","slug":"the-gig-what-its-like-being-a-death-doula","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-gig-what-its-like-being-a-death-doula\/","title":{"rendered":"#The Gig: What it&#8217;s like being a death doula"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3374176765c\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a3374176765c\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-gig-what-its-like-being-a-death-doula\/#%E2%80%9CThe_Gig_What_its_like_being_a_death_doula%E2%80%9D\" >&#8220;The Gig: What it&#8217;s like being a death doula&#8221;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CThe_Gig_What_its_like_being_a_death_doula%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>&#8220;The Gig: What it&#8217;s like being a death doula&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<div>\n                            \u201cSimply saying, \u2018Death sucks!\u2019 validates clients\u2019 feelings\u201d\n                        <\/div>\n<div>\n<p class=\"p2\"><i>Kayla Moryoussef is a death doula in Toronto.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n<p><strong>Early days:<\/strong> I grew up in Toronto the daughter of immigrants \u2013 my dad\u2019s Moroccan and my mom\u2019s South African. They worked a lot, my grandmother, Judith, was heavily involved in raising me. We were very close. When I was 15, she got cancer. I was pretty insistent about being there for her entire dying journey. I kept her company at the hospital almost every day. I took classical singing lessons as a kid, so she\u2019d sometimes ask me to sing for her, too. I was at her bedside until her last breath. In many ways, my work as a death doula began there. As sad and traumatic as her death was, there was something profound and beautiful about it. I realized that death connects each and every one of us. It\u2019s a journey we all experience.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Education:<\/strong> When I was 26, I enrolled in the two-year community-worker program at George Brown College. I started volunteering at a local hospice around the same time. One of my responsibilities was providing companionship for terminally ill people. Sometimes I\u2019d sleep over at their homes to give their relatives a break from full-time care. Mostly, I offered a listening ear as patients shared their fears about dying.<\/p>\n<p><strong>How I got started:<\/strong> I was certified as a registered <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">social<\/a> service worker in 2019. After that, I joined another hospice that offered specific training to become a death doula\u2014a term I\u2019d never heard before. A doula usually works with someone who\u2019s giving birth, but a death doula serves people who are leaving the world. I learned how to compassionately explain different aspects of the dying process to clients and their families, and help them navigate \u201clegacy work,\u201d like wills. I founded my own practice soon after.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Average day:<\/strong> I take on 15 to 20 clients a year, many of whom are older and have been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I meet with them virtually or visit them in palliative care units or at their homes, where I counsel them on how to build coping skills. Clients are often upset about having spent too much of their lives working, but I try to help them focus on the things they value the most\u2014usually that\u2019s family\u2014and help them to prioritize those things in the time they have left. For their last days, I prepare a kit that includes scented candles or playlists of music they want to hear, and ask who they\u2019d like in the room with them when they die. I also help them write goodbye letters. It\u2019s really intense to read someone\u2019s final words. I used to cry a lot after I got home from work, but I\u2019ve learned to not take on someone else\u2019s grief. That took some practice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>On-the-job uniform:<\/strong> I always wear casual, comfy and brightly coloured clothing to avoid looking like the Grim Reaper. I\u2019m usually sporting a blouse and a comfy pair of slacks; I don\u2019t want to look too formal or clinical.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Biggest challenge:<\/strong> It\u2019s tough to make a living as a death doula. Right now, the profession is unregulated. We\u2019re not typically employed by hospitals because many in the health-care sector see us as stepping on the toes of doctors and nurses. End-of-life care is a very different skill set\u2014and the demand is there. Canada\u2019s rapidly growing senior population will undoubtedly benefit from our services.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Biggest misconception:<\/strong> People ask me all the time if I euthanize my clients! Death doulas can support their decision to receive a medically assisted death. We\u2019re not there to expedite the process.<br \/>Comforting words: Simply saying \u201cDeath sucks!\u201d validates clients\u2019 feelings. It\u2019s going to h<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>en, so we should figure out how to make it as pleasant as possible.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Last requests:<\/strong> A lot of my clients regret not spending more time outdoors and with loved ones. In their last days, It\u2019s usually too difficult to take them to a park or on a field <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/trip-and-travel\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"10\" title=\"Trip &amp; Travel\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">trip<\/a> to a cherished place, but they\u2019ll often ask to speak with family members\u2014some of whom might be estranged from them\u2014to tie up any loose ends.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Work perk:<\/strong> It may seem counterintuitive, but this job is very life-affirming. My clients have taught me to invest my time in the people and work that I love. I\u2019m only 36, but this job has put my own life\u2014and end-of-life priorities\u2014into perspective. I could die tomorrow without any regrets.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">\u2014<i>As told to Ali Amad<\/i><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script async defer crossorigin=\"anonymous\" src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/general\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">General category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/society\/gig-death-doula-kayla-moryoussef\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;The Gig: What it&#8217;s like being a death doula&#8221; \u201cSimply saying, \u2018Death sucks!\u2019 validates clients\u2019 feelings\u201d Kayla Moryoussef is a death doula in Toronto.\u00a0 Early days: I grew up in Toronto the daughter of immigrants \u2013 my dad\u2019s Moroccan and my mom\u2019s South African. They worked a lot, my grandmother, Judith, was heavily involved in&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":520059,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/death-doula-766x431.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[136621,129674],"class_list":["post-520058","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","tag-death-doula","tag-the-gig"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520058","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=520058"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520058\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/520059"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=520058"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=520058"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=520058"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}