{"id":520359,"date":"2022-11-01T15:46:52","date_gmt":"2022-11-01T12:46:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/the-uncertain-stardom-of-bilal-baig\/"},"modified":"2022-11-01T15:46:52","modified_gmt":"2022-11-01T12:46:52","slug":"the-uncertain-stardom-of-bilal-baig","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-uncertain-stardom-of-bilal-baig\/","title":{"rendered":"#The Uncertain Stardom of Bilal Baig"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a37a51400f0f\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a37a51400f0f\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-1'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-uncertain-stardom-of-bilal-baig\/#%E2%80%9CThe_Uncertain_Stardom_of_Bilal_Baig%E2%80%9D\" >&#8220;The Uncertain Stardom of Bilal Baig&#8221;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h1><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CThe_Uncertain_Stardom_of_Bilal_Baig%E2%80%9D\"><\/span>&#8220;The Uncertain Stardom of Bilal Baig&#8221;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h1>\n<div>\n                <strong>The first time Bilal Baig<\/strong> discussed gender with their parents was last fall, a week before the premiere of <em>Sort Of<\/em>, the CBC <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/watch-movies-tv-seriess\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"8\" title=\"Watch Movies &amp; TV Series\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">series<\/a> inspired in part by Baig\u2019s life. Yes, they know they should have done it earlier. Or at least before network promos began beaming Baig\u2019s face into homes across the country. But for most of their adult life, the 27-year-old actor and writer\u2014who uses they\/them pronouns, and identifies as queer and transfemme\u2014hasn\u2019t had much to do with their parents. Not only did they not know Baig was transgender, they didn\u2019t even know their child had become a celebrated writer and actor whose first show was about to debut on national television.<\/p>\n<p>Baig had a feeling that coming out to these two first-generation Pakistani immigrants would go badly. It had to be done, though, so they sent a separate email to each parent, titled \u201cMy TV Show and Truth.\u201d Baig described who they were now and outlined their show, in which they play Sabi Mehboob, a gender-fluid, twentysomething Pakistani-Canadian whose life, friends, family and gender journey are drawn partly from Baig\u2019s own experience. And they explained that they were willing to have a relationship, if their parents were. The letter to their father was in English, and short. The letter to their mother took more time. Because their mom\u2019s English isn\u2019t great, Baig asked a friend in Pakistan to help translate her letter into Urdu; Baig can\u2019t even read it in its current form. Their mom didn\u2019t respond, but their dad did: I love you no matter what, he wrote. Baig was surprised, thinking it would be the opposite. A week later, all three met in a spacious coffee shop in Toronto\u2019s Liberty Village. \u201cIt was a complicated moment,\u201d Baig says. \u201cAnd it was a complicated conversation.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Baig\u2019s mom was concerned about their safety. In Pakistan, transness is associated with the khawaja sira, the \u201cthird gender\u201d community, which has been part of South Asian culture for centuries, and has long faced discrimination and violence. Beyond that, the reaction was strangely muted. \u201cI\u2019d have a more interesting story to tell if they freaked out,\u201d says Baig. \u201cBut they had kind of a non-reaction that upset me even more. No one was really trying to make a deep connection.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In retrospect, it wasn\u2019t that surprising. Baig had spent much of their childhood feeling overlooked, the forgotten child of a harried couple too busy keeping their household afloat to bring much warmth to it. The underwhelming response to Baig\u2019s monumental disclosure seemed like that past repeating itself. Baig has only sent their parents a handful of texts since that meeting, and the relationship remains unsettled. But Baig is at ease with that ambiguity\u2014and their ease speaks to why <em>Sort Of<\/em>, and its creator, are so compelling. Actor and playwright Damien Atkins, a former mentor of Baig\u2019s, says that even the show\u2019s title is imbued with ambivalence. \u201cIt offers the notion of actually sitting in a question,\u201d he says, \u201cand understanding that one does not have to rush to an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Sort Of<\/em>, which returns this November for a second season, doesn\u2019t rush at all. The first season\u2019s eight episodes have meandering titles like \u201cSort of Gone\u201d and \u201cSort of Back.\u201d This is mindfulness television, as impressionistic as a mainstream series gets. Co-created by Baig and actor-director-writer Fab Filippo, and loosely based on both of their lives, the show doesn\u2019t pummel you with plot. Instead, it lets its characters breathe. Foremost among them is Sabi, the protagonist played by Baig, who balances various roles: second-generation Pakistani-Canadian, bartender, nanny, child, friend. There\u2019s also Sabi\u2019s mother, Raffo; their best friend, 7ven; and the family they nanny for.<\/p>\n<p>Each character is in a state of flux, and Baig is a natural at capturing characters in the midst of transformation. They\u2019ve spent the past decade navigating their own gender transition, as well as a multiplicity of identities: queer, Muslim, person of colour, child of immigrants. Their ability to weave that unique experience into such absorbing, relatable television makes Baig one of Canada\u2019s most hypnotic writers and performers.<\/p>\n<p><em>Sort Of<\/em> has already won three Canadian Screen Awards (though Baig refused to submit themself for an acting nomination due to the Academy of Canadian Cinema &amp; Television\u2019s gender-binary classification system). HBO Max aired the show to critical adulation in the U.S., where it won a Peabody Award and landed Baig on <em>Time<\/em> magazine\u2019s list of \u201cnext generation leaders.\u201d Baig has received personal messages from people who have, thanks to <em>Sort Of<\/em>, been able to talk to their parents about gender\u2014and others who have become more certain about who they are after watching it. The latter is ironic, considering that Baig, like their show, is so hard to define.<\/p>\n<p>This is what I know about Baig: they are soft spoken and not overly emotive. I know they are deeply shy, because they told me, and everyone else did too. I spoke to them over the phone and via video chat, and during the latter conversation, they wore black hornrims, yellow and pink nails, bangles, big dangly earrings and a sheer dark evening top. Their conspicuous style was at odds with their reserved demeanour. For most of our video call, when they answered questions, they looked out the window to the left of the screen. You get the impression, from how quietly they speak and how little space they occupy, that Baig would be h<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>y to disappear. They understand how odd it is to lead a television show while being, as they say, deeply terrified of the attention it brings, but the rare chance to represent an identity and a body like theirs outweighs those fears. There\u2019s even a 12-page guide, written by a trans psychotherapist, distributed to <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">media<\/a> covering <em>Sort Of<\/em>, addressing everything from gender terminology to journalistic accountability. As Baig told the CBC, \u201cI don\u2019t know that I can do press if I\u2019m going to get misgendered every other word.\u201d Yet their hesitations about being the centre of attention run deeper than concerns about pronouns. \u201cI just love not being referred to at all,\u201d they say. \u201cThat\u2019s the dream.\u201d<\/p>\n<div class=\"longform-fwimg-container\"><img decoding=\"async\" data-sizes=\"auto\" src=\"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/BilalBaig-queer-identity-4-e1666884357418.jpg\" alt=\"\"\/><\/div>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p><strong>Baig was born in Toronto\u2019s east end<\/strong>, at Michael Garron Hospital, and grew up in Mississauga, the third of four kids. \u201cMost of the \u201990s for me,\u201d they say, \u201cis candy.\u201d When Baig was very young, their parents co-owned a candy-filled convenience store, and Baig often played with their siblings\u2014younger and older brothers, and an older sister\u2014in the playground nearby. That was as idyllic as things got. The business went south, and Baig\u2019s parents scrambled for work, moving often, which meant the kids\u2019 schools changed too. Baig\u2019s mom eventually found stability at Baskin-Robbins, while their dad worked his way up the ranks at a Whirlpool appliance factory. He might still be there; Baig isn\u2019t sure.<\/p>\n<p>With their parents consumed by work, the kids made their own fun. Baig would often take on girly roles during <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/game\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"7\" title=\"Game\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">game<\/a>s of pretend; if their parents noticed, they never said anything. Baig was the quiet one, watching and listening as everyone else in this family of big personalities got loud. Sometimes too loud.<\/p>\n<p class=\"longform-pullquote\">The scene made Baig sad, angry, horny, amazed: \u201cI didn\u2019t realize writing could make you feel, like, five different things at once. That was such a queer kind of feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Baig found their voice at school. In Grade 9 drama class, they were browsing the small library in the corner of the classroom when one vivid title jumped out: <em>White Biting Dog<\/em>. They didn\u2019t know what it meant, but it sounded cool. The 1984 Governor <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/general\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"3\" title=\"General\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">General<\/a>\u2019s Award\u2013winning play by Judith Thompson, set in Toronto\u2019s Rosedale neighborhood and strongly infused with elements of magical realism, tells the story of a young man whose suicide attempt is halted by a talking dog, who enlists the man in a mission to save his own dying father. A note prefacing the play advises, \u201cThis play must SPIN, not just turn around.\u201d <em>What do you mean?<\/em> Baig thought. <em>How can words spin?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Then they read it, and the words were spinning\u2014the accents, the voices, the abbreviations. Baig\u2019s exposure to drama had previously been what they call \u201cproper English reading,\u201d along the lines of Shakespeare, and they\u2019d had trouble connecting to it. With <em>White Biting Dog<\/em>, they could feel the words. In one scene, a fight between the young man and his mother\u2019s boyfriend morphs into a romantic embrace. It made Baig sad and angry, horny and amazed\u2014and scared that their own emerging teenage sexuality was playing out in front of them. \u201cI didn\u2019t realize writing could make you feel, like, five different things at once,\u201d says Baig. \u201cThat was such a queer kind of feeling.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>From then on, Baig wrote a play a year, enthralled by the possibilities of drama. \u201cProse feels deeply intellectual to me,\u201d they say. \u201cBut human speech feels completely emotional, and I just wanted to offer that to myself and the world.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In the fall of 2012, they enrolled in the theatre program at the University of Guelph, specifically because Thompson taught there. Guelph was very white, and to Baig it seemed like they were the first person of colour some students had seen in the flesh. Then there was Baig\u2019s obvious queerness\u2014the green pants, the tight shirts. They constantly felt eyes on them. And the classes were huge, hundreds of people, a lecturer at the front, Baig\u2019s brain shutting off. But they stuck around for Thompson, who invited her students to look deep inside themselves. That\u2019s when Baig started writing South Asian characters for the first time, even submitting work in Urdu.<\/p>\n<p>For Thompson\u2019s final assignment, she instructed students to \u201cwrite the story you need to tell.\u201d It was the word \u201cneed\u201d that got to Baig. The story they needed to tell was about their mother\u2014how Baig felt she was slipping away because they were queer, because they weren\u2019t religious enough, because they weren\u2019t good enough. What would happen, Baig wondered, if they asked her straight up, \u201cDo you think I\u2019m a good person?\u201d That question shaped the play, though the answer wasn\u2019t the point. It was to relieve Baig of its weight, and let the characters grapple with it instead. That, Baig says, felt like the start of a real career in writing.<\/p>\n<p>The result was <em>Acha Bacha<\/em> (\u201cGood Kid\u201d). It\u2019s about a Pakistani-Canadian man, Zaya, confronting possible sexual abuse by his imam, while attempting to balance his Muslim background and queerness by (unsuccessfully) hiding his non-binary lover, Salim, from his devout mother, whom he calls Ma. \u201cYOU DID NOT TAKE CARE OF ME,\u201d Zaya berates her, which reads pointedly once you know Baig\u2019s history. As does the last line, in which Salim expresses love to Zaya and says, in Urdu, \u201cTell me everything.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Acha Bacha<\/em>, which debuted in February of 2018 at Toronto\u2019s Theatre Passe Muraille, is not funny like <em>Sort Of,<\/em> but it contains Baig\u2019s trademarks: casual dialogue (\u201cyou\u2019re being weird\u201d), gender fluidity, a rambling plot, thorny family dynamics. There\u2019s <em>enfant terrible<\/em>\u2013style confrontation (the play opens on a blow job). Much of the dialogue is in Urdu, which gives the play the effect of inhabiting two different worlds. Damien Atkins, who met the 18-year-old Baig at a summer workshop at Toronto\u2019s Soulpepper Theatre in 2013, advised Baig to make the language more accessible to English speakers. In retrospect, he\u2019s glad they didn\u2019t take the advice. Instead, the Urdu-speaking audience had uniquely deep access to the play, uncommon in Canadian theatre.<\/p>\n<p><em>Acha Bacha\u2019s<\/em> most significant connection to <em>Sort Of<\/em> is Ellora Patnaik, who played Ma, and now plays Baig\u2019s character\u2019s mother on the show. Baig met Patnaik at <em>Acha Bacha\u2019s<\/em> first workshop in 2014, after they had transferred to Humber College in Etobicoke, in Toronto\u2019s suburban west end. Baig recalls racing across town to get to the workshop\u2019s downtown venue in time, arriving with minutes to spare. And there she was: Ma. \u201cThere was something kind of instant and right about her,\u201d says Baig, \u201cthe way she looked at me and the way I looked at her.\u201d Patnaik calls herself Baig\u2019s \u201cmini mom\u201d\u2014she even went to their Humber graduation in 2016.<\/p>\n<p>Baig remembers driving home with Patnaik from a pool party this past summer, talking about the \u201chybrid relationships\u201d they have with certain women in their lives, who occupy multiple roles, as mothers, sisters, children, friends or even lovers. Baig didn\u2019t realize one relationship could manifest in so many ways. In the pool that day, they\u2019d looked at Patnaik and thought, <em>I\u2019d love to feel this with my actual mom.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p><strong>You don\u2019t do Canadian theatre for the money.<\/strong> Even after celebrating the well-reviewed premiere of their first major play, Baig was still living above a roti shop, with a bank account in overdraft while working as a nanny. (\u201cImagine me and two little white girls walking down Roncesvalles Avenue.\u201d) Several months after <em>Acha Bacha\u2019s<\/em> debut, when they were cast in a play called <em>Theory<\/em>, they were excited. They could stop nannying and start saving.<\/p>\n<p>The play was about a professor who encourages unmoderated discussions among students as a free-speech experiment. Baig played a student, and actor and writer Fab Filippo played a professor. Neither was the lead, so in their free time between scenes, they worked on their own writing projects in the dressing room, laptops open opposite one another. Every night, Filippo heard the laughs Baig got. He recognized their dry sense of humour. Several weeks into the play, he asked Baig if they were interested in making television.<\/p>\n<p>The thought hadn\u2019t occurred to Baig, but they have a twisted attraction to things that terrified them. What could be more terrifying than what Filippo intended\u2014a show based on Baig\u2019s own life? \u201cYou know when you see somebody,\u201d he says, \u201cand you go: them.\u201d It was unclear to Baig where Filippo would fit into a story about a queer, young, non-binary person of colour, but as a recently divorced dad, he was in transition too. This would be a show about how everyone is, in their own way. His alter ego would be Paul (played in the show by actor Gray Powell), the dad whose kids Baig\u2019s character nannies, and whose wife ends up in a coma. Once that was decided, says Filippo, it was simple: \u201cThe story fell from the sky.\u201d <em>Sort Of\u2019<\/em>s main character, Sabi, did not. Baig had never appeared on screen, but they had seen actresses who made it seem doable\u2014like Maggie Gyllenhaal. \u201cI always feel like she\u2019s playing against the words,\u201d says Baig. That\u2019s what Baig eventually did too.<\/p>\n<p>Filippo and Baig created a sizzle reel, which is a kind of trailer pitched to executives who can greenlight a series. Filippo encouraged them to smile if something seemed funny, even if the scene didn\u2019t require it\u2014like a commentary on their own dialogue. That smirk became a Sabi signature, unlocking the character. Filippo further encouraged Baig to perform the least of all the actors, to be the calm in the storm, the way they always were. It fit Sabi\u2019s introversion, and Baig\u2019s.<\/p>\n<p class=\"longform-pullquote\">Television hadn\u2019t occurred to Baig, but they had a twisted attraction to things that terrified them. What could be more terrifying than a show about their life?<\/p>\n<p>The pair pitched <em>Sort Of<\/em> as a cross between the handheld wit of <em>Fleabag<\/em> and the queer warmth of <em>Please Like Me<\/em>. It ended up at Sphere Media (then Sienna Films) because of Filippo. \u201cI know the person who won\u2019t crush us,\u201d he told Baig. It was Jennifer Kawaja, who had supported his work in the past. She ensured <em>Sort Of<\/em>\u2019s original tone was preserved\u2014some scenes from the sizzle reel were even recreated in the pilot.<\/p>\n<p>Being more familiar with theatre, Baig had to get used to how visual television is. They spent a lot of time in the writers\u2019 room, observing. \u201cI don\u2019t remember being a very useful presence,\u201d they say. Sometimes Baig\u2019s ideas were too subtle for the camera, like an emotion too difficult to capture on an actor\u2019s face. But Baig took note of pitches that moved the story forward, and of how to be quippier. Watching Filippo in particular, they learned how to exit a scene and land a joke. According to Filippo, he and Baig never argue, and neither is driven by ego. If they fight for anything, it\u2019s honesty. Baig feels most comfortable sharing observations around race, gender and sexuality, because they live it every day.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, <em>Sort Of<\/em>\u2019s momentum is not provided by outlandish characters and dialogue, but by the navigation of normal events: a breakup, a friend moving, a job lost. Baig is attracted to contrasts, confronting the somewhat disengaged Sabi with a barrage of crises\u2014all that high-stakes drama knocking against all that low-key comedy. The juxtaposition echoes Sabi\u2019s incongruity in this genre, as well as Baig\u2019s, who doesn\u2019t really like acting in the first place, or is at least ambivalent about it. Atkins once praised their performance, and their response was, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I should do it anymore.\u201d They do it because they have to, because they know their appearance on screen is more important than their discomfort. Before a shoot, they go into what Filippo calls their \u201ccocoon phase,\u201d spending time alone, recharging. I watched them do that on set the day I visited. Between takes, in their clementine tank and turquoise cowboy boots, they leaned quietly against a doorway, alone, appearing to centre themself. To look at them, you wouldn\u2019t know they were the star of the show. There wasn\u2019t a magnetic field around them. It was the opposite. There was space.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p><strong>What makes <em>Sort Of<\/em> so revolutionary<\/strong> is how little it cares about being revolutionary. While it is unapologetically queer, it never relies on exaggerated tropes. Sabi isn\u2019t out and proud (though their best friend, 7ven, is). Raffo is not solely a disapproving immigrant mother, but one trying to understand (\u201cIf you\u2019re not a girl, what are you?\u201d). There\u2019s no big coming-out moment. Nor is Sabi\u2019s identity particularly clear, even to them. There\u2019s no spectacle, no stacked witticisms or overbearing music or frenetic editing. Sabi always looks stylish, but in a realistic, DIY way. And Baig\u2019s deadpan delivery makes the show\u2019s subtle humour that much funnier. \u201cI\u2019m glad our kids have been exposed to you,\u201d Paul tells Sabi. They respond, \u201cI\u2019m glad I exposed myself to them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Despite <em>Sort Of<\/em>\u2019s brevity\u2014eight episodes in the first season, 20 minutes each\u2014themes recur, threaded throughout like in a rich novella. Of particular importance is the idea of listening to and seeing others. The last scene of the first season shows Sabi alone, eating their mom\u2019s leftovers. It\u2019s a callback to the first episode, in which their mom showed up on their doorstep with leftovers and saw them in full femme for the first time\u2014a symbol of the two finally connecting.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_1241457\" style=\"width: 1930px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-sizes=\"auto\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1241457 lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Sabi-BILAL-BAIG-and-Paul-GRAY-POWELL-discuss-Bessy_s-return.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1280\"\/><\/p>\n<p class=\"wp-caption-text\">Bilal Baig as Sabi Mehboob and Grey Powell as Paul, a character based in part on series co-creator Fab Filippo.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><em>Sort Of<\/em> is not a term paper. Identity politics can even be the butt of jokes (\u201cWhite-saviour it,\u201d Sabi directs Paul). Because of its light touch, the show\u2019s wisdom hits that much harder as it pops up in passing dialogue. And trying is valued. Not understanding and expressing contradiction is allowed, which is as fundamental to Baig as to their work. \u201cWhat the world needs more of is understanding how to sit with our discomfort,\u201d says Filippo. He describes \u201cthe Baig pause,\u201d which evokes this idea perfectly. It would come up in meetings with executives when they were pitching the show. The suits would ask a question, and Baig would say nothing for as long as it took to formulate an answer they believed in. The discomfort of that silence made everyone listen much more intently when Baig finally spoke.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve even experienced my own Baig pause. A month before we met for this story, I was in the caf\u00e9 at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Toronto, having tea with a friend. Baig had just arrived with Raymond Cham Jr. (a <em>Sort Of<\/em> cast member) and they were facing me. At that moment, I gesticulated widely and knocked a full cup of tea dramatically onto the ground. I stopped and considered it, agog, before looking up to see who had noticed. I believe Cham Jr. displayed that mildly shocked smile bystanders have when something embarrassing happens to someone else. But Baig caught my eye because of what they weren\u2019t doing\u2014their expression remained completely unchanged, refusing to fill the moment with artifice.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI remember that moment really clearly,\u201d Baig told me on the phone a month later. \u201cI thought it was amazing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Their reaction made me feel like I had given them a gift. This is a particular talent Baig has: to make you feel valuable. It is something extraordinary that a person made to feel overlooked as a child can grow into someone who strives to ensure that everyone they meet feels the opposite. As Patnaik puts it: \u201cWhen I\u2019m with Bilal, I feel like I am their whole world.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">***<\/p>\n<p><strong>Before <em>Sort Of<\/em>, before <em>Acha Bacha<\/em><\/strong>, Baig volunteered with Story Planet, a not-for-profit offering creative-writing workshops to kids in disadvantaged communities. Like many people, the first thing executive director Liz Haines noticed about Baig was their shyness. But she later reconsidered it as an \u201cintentional hesitancy,\u201d a way of holding themself back to give room to others, which served Baig well when working with kids. One of the big discussions at Story Planet was about gender. Baig\u2019s approach was that learning never ends\u2014and not just for kids, as Baig\u2019s own gender expression transformed through the years.<\/p>\n<p>In theatre school, they shaved their head as a form of resistance against the stuffy environment. \u201cIt was all about, like, Chekhov and breathing,\u201d Baig explains. \u201cI was like, \u2018That\u2019s not the world I want to be in.\u2019\u2009\u201d Then came the odd bangle, then longer hair, then a full beard plus makeup, and now today: no beard, hair down, makeup and dresses. They weren\u2019t trying to make any political statements. They were just trying to do what felt right, though they often struggled with the attention it brought. Baig still doesn\u2019t see gender in a linear way: \u201cI\u2019m not fussy about it and I really wish the world would move in that direction.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is Baig sitting in the question, as always. And it helps explain why they prefer not to be an overnight success. The slow spread of <em>Sort Of<\/em>\u2014most people I mention it to haven\u2019t heard of it\u2014allows for time to reflect, and to change.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere are just so many routes available, and that makes me really happy,\u201d they say. Maybe, Baig suggests, they\u2019ll disappear from the spotlight altogether and work with kids for the rest of their life. It would make sense. As Sabi says, \u201cI like how they process stuff. They don\u2019t rush to put things in boxes.\u201d<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p><em>This article appears in print in the November 2022 issue of<\/em> Maclean\u2019s <em>magazine. Buy the issue for <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" class=\"c-link\" tabindex=\"-1\" href=\"https:\/\/canadianmags.ca\/products\/macleans-november-2022\" data-stringify-link=\"http:\/\/canadianmags.ca\/products\/copy-of-macleans-single-issue\" data-sk=\"tooltip_parent\" data-remove-tab-index=\"true\">$8.99<\/a>\u00a0or better yet, subscribe to the monthly print magazine for just\u00a0<a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/secure.macleans.ca\/loc\/MME\/head_subscribe\">$39.99<\/a><\/em>.<br \/>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-sizes=\"auto\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1241161 size-full lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/Cover_November_DRE-e1665665188991.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"819\"\/><\/div>\n<p><script async defer crossorigin=\"anonymous\" src=\"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/sdk.js\"><\/script><\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMLG0nwswvr63Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/general\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">General category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/longforms\/bilal-baig-sort-of-queer-identity\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;The Uncertain Stardom of Bilal Baig&#8221; The first time Bilal Baig discussed gender with their parents was last fall, a week before the premiere of Sort Of, the CBC series inspired in part by Baig\u2019s life. Yes, they know they should have done it earlier. Or at least before network promos began beaming Baig\u2019s face&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":520360,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/BilalBaig-Finals-sort-of-queer-identity-e1667306532695-766x431.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-520359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=520359"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/520359\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/520360"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=520359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=520359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=520359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}