{"id":5783,"date":"2020-06-11T02:19:00","date_gmt":"2020-06-10T23:19:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/fleeing-nyc-amid-coronavirus-leaves-defectors-with-survivors-guilt\/"},"modified":"2020-06-11T02:19:00","modified_gmt":"2020-06-10T23:19:00","slug":"fleeing-nyc-amid-coronavirus-leaves-defectors-with-survivors-guilt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/fleeing-nyc-amid-coronavirus-leaves-defectors-with-survivors-guilt\/","title":{"rendered":"#Fleeing NYC amid coronavirus leaves defectors with \u2018survivor\u2019s guilt\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#Fleeing NYC amid coronavirus leaves defectors with \u2018survivor\u2019s guilt\u2019<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n Meet the defectors who fled New York City.<\/p>\n

Some are hiding out in their weekend homes, while others are emptying their wallets on Airbnbs or crashing on their parents\u2019 couches. Some left the five boroughs in early March, before the coronavirus upended life and protests filled the streets; many more decamped for less-dense locales in the months that followed, during the peak of pandemic pandemonium.<\/p>\n

Now those who left are contending with regrets both small (subpar pizza) and weighty (immeasurable guilt).<\/p>\n

\u201cNew York City made me who I am, and now I\u2019m leaving her? Did she win? Did she beat me? I\u2019ve always laughed at the weak who leave and move to L.A. Am I less of a man now for leaving?\u201d says Trey Ditto, 40, CEO and founder of Ditto PR. With his wife, Natalia, and their 1-year-old in tow, Ditto abandoned their Williamsburg high-rise for a cabin in the woods near Woodstock, NY, due to COVID-19 fears.<\/p>\n

The nerve-racking \u2014 even identity-defining \u2014 debate about whether to stay or go is taking place online, too. A Facebook<\/a> group called Into the Unknown launched in April as a forum for people \u201cwho have decided or are considering \u2014 willingly or otherwise \u2014 to join the exodus from NYC.\u201d Its more than 4,500 members dissect the topic daily.<\/p>\n

\"Trey<\/img>
Trey Ditto left Williamsburg for Woodstock, NY, with his wife and toddler.<\/span>Trey Ditto<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Outside of the city, Ditto and others say, it\u2019s easier to pretend the world isn\u2019t ending. In woodsy upstate New York and the homey hillsides of Connecticut \u2014 as well as in other popular suburban and vacation destinations \u2014 residents have suffered from the coronavirus or still risk contracting it. But unlike in New York, where sirens pierced the air day and night during the height of the outbreak, ambulances often cut their horns as they speed through affluent towns. And whirring flashes of red lights are handily blocked by hedges or trees.<\/p>\n

\"Shayan<\/img>
Shayan Jamshed is torn over his move from Hudson Yards to Orlando during the coronavirus.<\/span>Shayan Jamshed<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Product marketing manager Shayan Jamshed ditched his apartment in March for sunnier Orlando, Fla., where he has family. Although he\u2019s originally from Pakistan, \u201cI have always considered New York City my home,\u201d says Jamshed, 30, who has lived near Hudson Yards since 2013. \u201cI felt like I was betraying the city that I love, but I also realized the health risks.\u201d The only thing that will dissolve his guilt is moving back to the city when the danger of the coronavirus abates.<\/p>\n

Some runaways plan to come back and others don\u2019t \u2014 or can\u2019t.<\/p>\n

After COVID-19 hit, Erika Mozes, 42, who co-founded and runs Hyr, a mobile staffing platform that connects merchants with gig workers, made a break for the border with her husband Josh Karam, also 42. With their lease expiring, they abruptly moved out of their Lower East Side walk-up and arrived in their native Toronto a week before Canada closed off the country. \u201cIt\u2019s crazy that we left our home, making that decision in hours, and I\u2019ll never see it again,\u201d says Mozes. While Mozes is grateful to have gotten out when she did, \u201cthat doesn\u2019t mean I don\u2019t feel guilty, that we are not there to support the city I love so much.\u201d The borders are closed to nonessential workers until at least June 22; the couple doesn\u2019t know when or if they\u2019ll be allowed back.<\/p>\n

\"Josh<\/img>
Josh Karam and Erika Mozes are conflicted over abandoning their Lower East Side apartment for Toronto.<\/span>Erika Mozes<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The benefits of suburban and rural bunkers \u2014 including outdoor space and the general<\/a> ease of isolation (and, as a result, lowered anxiety) \u2014 help lighten the burden of remorse.<\/p>\n

Writer George Blecher fled the Upper West Side, which he called home for four decades, for the greener pastures of Peekskill, NY, some 50 miles north. \u201cI feel sad that I couldn\u2019t share in the collective support that citizens of the same space can give one another,\u201d says Blecher, 79, adding that he doesn\u2019t carry too much shame since he considers the move a prudent one given his age \u2014 and because he hasn\u2019t left any family behind.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not sure that my guilt can or should be assuaged,\u201d he adds. \u201cIt\u2019s better to accept that you\u2019re imperfect, the times are hell, and that you do the best you can with the cards that you were dealt.\u201d<\/p>\n

The recent protests over the death of George Floyd at the hands of a Minneapolis policeman have heightened escapees\u2019 conflicted feelings. \u201cI\u2019d say that the protests intensified the dichotomy,\u201d Blecher says, \u201cboth admiring the solidarity of the protesters and being app<\/a>rehensive about the relaxing of social distancing.\u201d<\/p>\n

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\n \"For<\/img><\/p>\n
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\n George Blecher moved from the Upper West Side to Peekskill, NY, during the pandemic. <\/p>\n

George Blecher\n <\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

\n \"For<\/img><\/p>\n
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\n Blecher’s Peekskill pad. <\/p>\n

George Blecher\n <\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<\/p><\/div>\n

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\n Up Next\n <\/p>\n
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Grubhub on Wednesday was acquired by Dutch food delivery giant…
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Bodies may trundle out of the city on I-95, but hearts are harder to relocate. Some defectors report lying awake at night, feeling the crushing impact of their abandonment. They wonder about the scores of people with whom they used to interact, from paternal doormen to neighborhood eclectics to jovial coffee-cart staffers who could whip up egg sandwiches in seconds. Are they OK? Will the city ever be the same?<\/p>\n

\u201cFeeling guilt for leaving could actually be a response to trauma similar to survivor\u2019s guilt,\u201d says psychotherapist and brain health expert Teralyn Sell.<\/p>\n

But they shouldn\u2019t let such feelings cripple their ability to do good. \u201cIf people choose to leave and feel badly about it, they can use the energy of that guilt to find someone to help where they are,\u201d says Jodi Aman, a social worker in Rochester, NY. Aman suggests supporting local business, cooking for someone who is struggling, checking in on someone who lives alone or donating to food pantries.<\/p>\n

\u201cI feel guilty for leaving my plants that have since become brown and wilted and likely will not come back,\u201d says Sara Rogers, a 24-year-old risk analyst at Goldman Sachs, who left the West Village for her parents\u2019 digs in Greenwich, Conn. The protests have only made the knot in her stomach bigger. \u201cI feel bad that I\u2019m not there to support my local favorite restaurants and shops,\u201d she says, adding that although she\u2019s donated money online she \u201ccould be doing way more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Flowers are in bloom, barbecues are fired up and beaches are open, but those mulling their own betrayal still question their decisions.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce COVID-19 subsides, I know my feelings will come out. Will I be jealous of my friends that stayed?\u201d Ditto says. \u201cMaybe moving is the most hipster Brooklyn thing I could possibly do.\u201d\n <\/p><\/div>\n

Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

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“#Fleeing NYC amid coronavirus leaves defectors with \u2018survivor\u2019s guilt\u2019” Meet the defectors who fled New York City. Some are hiding out in their weekend homes, while others are emptying their wallets on Airbnbs or crashing on their parents\u2019 couches. Some left the five boroughs in early March, before the coronavirus upended life and protests filled…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[11284,11283],"class_list":["post-5783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-ive-always-laughed-at-the-weak-who-leave-and-move-to-l-a-am-i-less-of-a-man-now-for-leaving","tag-fleeing-nyc-amid-coronavirus-leaves-defectors-with-survivors-guilt"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5783"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5783\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}