{"id":620835,"date":"2024-04-30T18:51:30","date_gmt":"2024-04-30T15:51:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/an-11-year-family-separation-macleans-ca-2\/"},"modified":"2024-04-30T18:51:30","modified_gmt":"2024-04-30T15:51:30","slug":"an-11-year-family-separation-macleans-ca-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/an-11-year-family-separation-macleans-ca-2\/","title":{"rendered":"#An 11-Year Family Separation &#8211; Macleans.ca"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a2583fda3f1a\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a2583fda3f1a\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/an-11-year-family-separation-macleans-ca-2\/#Get_the_Best_of_Macleans_straight_to_your_inbox\" >Get the Best of Maclean\u2019s straight to your inbox.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<div>\n<div class=\"wp-block \">\n<div class=\"ad-free-zone\">\n<div class=\" mx-auto max-w-full w-full -mt-20 laptop:mt-0 laptop:pt-20 max-w-[600px] laptop:max-w-[945px]\">\n<div class=\" max-w-full aspect-[945_\/_630] laptop:h-[630px]\"><img alt=\"\" fetchpriority=\"high\" width=\"1000\" height=\"700\" decoding=\"async\" data-nimg=\"1\" class=\"w-full h-full object-cover\" style=\"color:transparent\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 945px\" srcset=\"\/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=640&amp;q=75 640w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=750&amp;q=75 750w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=828&amp;q=75 828w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=1080&amp;q=75 1080w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=1200&amp;q=75 1200w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=1920&amp;q=75 1920w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=2048&amp;q=75 2048w, \/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75 3840w\" src=\"https:\/\/macleans.ca\/_next\/image\/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.macleans.ca%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2024%2F04%2FMylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg&amp;w=3840&amp;q=75\"\/><\/div>\n<p><span class=\"all-small-caps text-grey\"> <!-- -->illustration by dominic bugatto <\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"max-w-[640px] laptop:max-w-[600px] mx-auto px-20 laptop:px-0 py-20 laptop:py-20\">\n<div class=\"text-smm leading-smm laptop:leading-smxl font-sans laptop:text-base text-grey font-lightmedium\">I moved to Canada to give my children a better life. It took four permanent residency <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>lications before I saw them again.\n<\/div>\n<p><span class=\"author\">BY Mylene Badiola<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"max-w-[640px] mx-auto py-20 px-20\">\n<div class=\"mb-8 flex gap-6\">\n<div class=\"relative inline-block\"><button aria-label=\"Sharing Button\" class=\"rounded-xl border border-grey-light px-12 py-6 hover:bg-grey-lighter transition-colors\"><svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"20\" height=\"20\" fill=\"none\"><g clip-path=\"url(#share_svg__a)\"><path stroke=\"#121212\" stroke-linecap=\"round\" stroke-linejoin=\"round\" d=\"M2.419 15.525c1.286-1.37 4.661-4.275 9.458-4.275V15l6.25-6.25-6.25-6.25v3.75c-4.125 0-9.413 3.941-10 9.027a.313.313 0 0 0 .542.248\"\/><\/g><defs><clippath id=\"share_svg__a\"><path fill=\"#fff\" d=\"M0 0h20v20H0z\"\/><\/clippath><\/defs><\/svg><\/button><\/p>\n<div class=\"fixed laptop:absolute max-laptop:bottom-0 laptop:top-[calc(100%+20px)] left-0 right-0 laptop:right-auto w-full laptop:w-[190px] p-20 rounded-lg bg-white font-sans shadow-[0px_0px_10px_rgba(0,0,0,0.15)] invisible\">\n<ul class=\"list-none p-0\">\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span>Copy Link<\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span>Email<\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span><a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Facebook<\/a><\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span>X<\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span>LinkedIn<\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span>WhatsApp<\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<li class=\"border-b border-b-grey-light text-dark last:border-b-0 group\"><button class=\"flex items-center gap-10 py-7 group-last:pb-0 w-full font-light group\"><span>Reddit<\/span><\/button><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"uppercase text-xs leading-normal font-sans text-grey font-lightmedium\">April 30, 2024<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"has-drop-cap     undefined\">In 2012, I was working as a McDonald\u2019s manager in Tagaytay, a city one hour south of Manila, Philippines. My then-husband, Franco, and I had three kids: a daughter, Kate, and two sons, Jelo and Jade. I was earning $600 a month and always struggling to make ends meet. I constantly thought about how I could give my children a better life.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">That year, some of my McDonald\u2019s co-workers moved to Australia to work food-service jobs\u2014and they quadrupled their wages. There are special agencies back home that get Filipinos jobs abroad based on their skills and the demand in those countries. In March, I quit my job and signed up with an agency, who asked if I could take an opening at a Tim Hortons in St. John\u2019s, Newfoundland, where I would earn $2,000 a month. I could qualify for permanent residency there after working for a few years, then sponsor my family to come to Canada. My kids would get a better quality of life, so I decided to move.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">Saying goodbye to my children was difficult. We had never been separated before. I told them, \u201cMommy will come back soon, and I will bring you to Canada.\u201d We all cried, especially Jade, my youngest son. He wouldn\u2019t let go of my hand the day I left.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">I arrived in St. John\u2019s with two other Filipinos from the same agency. Our employer picked us up from the airport. They were good to us: they had a house in the city where the three of us would live, and they helped us settle in and sorted out our paperwork. I worked the 4 a.m. to noon shift at Tim Hortons; it was busy and fast-paced, but it was familiar to me after all the years I had been working at McDonald\u2019s.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">I soon learned there was a provincial nominee program in Newfoundland that could fast-track my application for permanent residency after I\u2019d worked a year at Tim Hortons. So, in 2013, I applied with Franco and my three kids as dependents. Getting the documentation together was a long and complicated process. I filled out a dozen forms and gathered a pile of paperwork, like police clearances, certified copies of birth certificates and medical checks. My family back home had to <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/trip-and-travel\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"10\" title=\"Trip &amp; Travel\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">travel<\/a> for hours to different offices to get some of the documents. It was months of work. The process was expensive too\u2014it cost about $2,000 just to apply, plus hundreds more to get all the paperwork from the Philippines.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">A year later, my application was denied; it turned out Franco never got a medical exam for Jade. I was devastated. I had spent so much money, time and effort for nothing. I missed my children: we\u2019d Skype most nights at 10 p.m., when my kids were up for the morning and getting ready for school. I\u2019d hang out in the background, chatting with them and watching them do their morning routines before I went to bed. I cried often when we Skyped. It felt like half of my heart was missing. They missed me too. They\u2019d ask, \u201cMom, when are you coming home?\u201d I\u2019d stay quiet then, because I didn\u2019t have an answer for them.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">My journey took a turn in 2014. Franco and I had grown apart, and we broke up. I eventually found love with a regular customer at Tim Hortons, a truck driver named Michael. I moved into Michael\u2019s basement apartment and, a year later, I was pregnant. After our son, Mikaal, was born, the three of us moved into a three-bedroom house in Shea Heights, a hilly neighbourhood in St. John\u2019s.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">I applied for permanent residency again in 2016, this time just for myself and my kids. I had already gone through the nominee program once, so I thought it would be simple to continue on that track. We had all our forms, including Jade\u2019s medical check. But my application was rejected again because I forgot to sign one of the forms. That\u2019s how strict they were. There was nothing I could do but move on and apply again.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">In 2017, Michael and I had another child\u2014a daughter named Maya. Two years later, I applied for permanent residency for the third time and was denied again. This time, it was because I sent my application payment via certified cheque. That\u2019s how they had requested it the first two times, but by then, the immigration department updated its system to pay for the application online. I didn\u2019t know about the change. Meanwhile, I had to keep renewing my work permit every two years, which cost about $150 each time.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">By 2021, I was preparing my fourth application for permanent residency. One of my Filipina friends at Tim Hortons, Hashe, had just become an immigration consultant and decided to take over. She suggested bringing Jade over to Canada under a child study permit while we waited for our permanent residency application to go through. (Jelo and Kate were too old to qualify.)<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">The paperwork for Jade came through in under a year, and he arrived in St. John\u2019s in February of 2022. The last time I\u2019d seen him, he was only six; when he arrived, he was 15. You see your children grow up on a computer screen, but it\u2019s not the same as seeing them in person. I was half-expecting him to still be a little boy, but when he came out of the gate, I was shocked by how tall he was. My mind went blank and tears started pouring out of my eyes. But I was so happy.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">Jade slipped into life in Canada quite easily. He started Grade 9 at a local high school in Shea Heights and made friends quickly. He also got along well with my two Canadian kids. I often find Jade at the computer, teaching Mikaal a new <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/game\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"7\" title=\"Game\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">game<\/a>, and Maya is the little sister he always wanted. They\u2019re always drawing or painting together.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">In 2023, after 11 years, my permanent residency application finally came through, and Kate and Jelo arrived in Canada that September. At the airport, I burst into tears and ran toward them. My first thought was, <em>Oh my god, they\u2019re so grown up<\/em>. My daughter, Kate, was 21 and taller than me. I kept taking videos of them, just because I was so excited to see them. Kate said, \u201cMom, will you stop that?\u201d It was reassuring to know she was still a typical young person, getting annoyed at her mother.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">The transition wasn\u2019t all smooth. In the beginning, Kate and Jelo were pretty quiet when I asked them questions. They were making a big life change too\u2014a new culture, language, food and friends. It took time for us to warm up to each other, but our relationships have improved. And Kate and Jelo have their own lives now. They got jobs at Tim Hortons too and they\u2019re saving up for school. Kate was in the middle of a psychology degree in the Philippines, so she\u2019ll register for university here to finish her program. Jelo is planning to apply for the police academy in Newfoundland. Michael is teaching him how to drive\u2014a requirement for the job. It\u2019s heartwarming to see Michael treat my kids like his own.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"     undefined\">The house is pretty full. Kate and Maya are in one bedroom, Jade and Mikaal in the second, me and Michael in the third bedroom and Jelo in the basement. Everyone gets along. I feel thankful that Franco raised them to be good kids while I was away. I love seeing them all playing together. Sometimes Kate does Maya\u2019s hair in the morning, or gives her a bath at night. When we all have time off together, we\u2019ll <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/watch-movies-tv-seriess\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"8\" title=\"Watch Movies &amp; TV Series\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">watch movies<\/a> at home or go to the mall and eat at the food court. Window shopping at the mall is our hobby and our bonding time.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block wp-block-core\">\n<p class=\"    endstyle undefined\">I got a new job recently, as a food-service worker at a local hospital. The pay is better and the job is less demanding. But I still pick up shifts at Tim Hortons every now and then. I\u2019m trying to save up money to buy a plane ticket home. I haven\u2019t gone back to the Philippines since I left 12 years ago. I miss my mom and she misses me too. I know what it\u2019s like now, to have your kids so far away from home.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"wp-block \">\n<div class=\"ad-free-zone laptop:px-0\">\n<div class=\"max-w-screen-desktop mx-auto px-20 tablet:px-40\">\n<div class=\"wp-newsletter-signup max-w-screen-desktop mx-auto w-full py-20 my-20 tablet:my-40 tablet:py-80&#10;          border-t-3 tablet:border-t-[6px] border-dark bg-white\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col tablet:flex-row max-w-[800px] w-full mx-auto tablet:items-center\">\n<div class=\"flex flex-col tablet:w-7\/12 space-y-10 text-center tablet:text-left px-20\">\n<h2 class=\"text-red\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Get_the_Best_of_Macleans_straight_to_your_inbox\"><\/span>Get the Best of <em>Maclean\u2019s<\/em> straight to your inbox.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"newsletter-subtitle font-sans text-sm leading-xm tablet:leading-smm font-lightmedium text-grey\">Sign up for <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">news<\/a>, commentary, analysis and promotions. Join 80,000+ Canadian readers.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<blockquote><p><strong><span style=\"color: #ff6600;\">If you liked the article, do not forget to share it with your friends. Follow us on\u00a0<span style=\"color: #ff0000;\"><a style=\"color: #ff0000;\" href=\"https:\/\/news.google.com\/publications\/CAAqBwgKMN63nwsw68G3Aw\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Google News<\/a><\/span>\u00a0too, click on the star and choose us from your favorites.<\/span><\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more News articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/general\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">General category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong>\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/macleans.ca\/society\/an-11-year-family-separation\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>illustration by dominic bugatto I moved to Canada to give my children a better life. It took four permanent residency applications before I saw them again. BY Mylene Badiola Copy Link Email Facebook X LinkedIn WhatsApp Reddit April 30, 2024 In 2012, I was working as a McDonald\u2019s manager in Tagaytay, a city one hour&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":620836,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/cms.macleans.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Mylene_Badiloa_WEB.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-620835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=620835"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/620835\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/620836"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=620835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=620835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=620835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}