{"id":81076,"date":"2020-10-03T17:38:36","date_gmt":"2020-10-03T14:38:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/how-the-first-personal-ads-eventually-evolved-into-tinder\/"},"modified":"2020-10-03T17:38:36","modified_gmt":"2020-10-03T14:38:36","slug":"how-the-first-personal-ads-eventually-evolved-into-tinder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/how-the-first-personal-ads-eventually-evolved-into-tinder\/","title":{"rendered":"#How the first personal ads eventually evolved into\u00a0Tinder"},"content":{"rendered":"

“#How the first personal ads eventually evolved into\u00a0Tinder<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

\n It was the summer of 1778, and 22-year-old A.B. had just moved to Manhattan. New York was bustling \u2014 business was booming and debates were raging over whether the state should ratify the new nation\u2019s constitution. But A.B. was terribly lonely. He had few acquaintances in the city and found that it was very hard to meet ladies.<\/p>\n

So he marched to the downtown offices of the Impartial Gazetteer, the city\u2019s only weekly paper at the time, and placed an ad for a wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cA young gentleman of fame and fortune,\u201d it began, \u201cnot above two and twenty, tall, stout and esteemed in his person\u201d sought a \u201cmaid or widow \u2026 under 40, not deformed, and in possession of at least one thousand pounds.\u201d (A.B. wasn\u2019t terribly picky.) He asked interested parties to leave their letters at the news<\/a>paper\u2019s printing office, promising that he would \u201cpunctually\u201d answer all replies.<\/p>\n

It was a bold move. Advertising for a partner was, in 1778, pretty radical. But according to historian Francesca Beauman\u2019s book, \u201cMatrimony Inc.<\/a>\u201d (Pegasus Books), out Tuesday, it wouldn\u2019t be long before men and women from all over the new country would embrace this unconventional, optimistic and deeply American way of finding a mate. After all, she writes, as fresh arrivals sought their fortune in crowded cities \u2014 or, later, the sparsely populated frontier \u2014 \u201cit became clear that many needed or wanted to advertise for love to help them along the road to marriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

More than two centuries later, and despite cultural shifts, technological breakthroughs and changing attitudes toward marriage, people are still putting themselves out there in the hopes of finding love \u2014 and selling themselves in much the same way as they were when America was brand new.<\/p>\n

The nation\u2019s first known marriage ad app<\/a>eared in 1759, in the Boston Evening Post, looking for \u201cany young lady, between the age of 18 and 23, of middling stature; brown hair; regular features, and with a lively brisk eye.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"William
William Wepsala (left) bragged in personal ads of personal wealth, but Nellie Blattenberg found that to be a lie, and quickly divorced him.<\/span>Photos courtesy of the author <\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

At the time, writes Beauman, Boston was \u201cthe most civilized, sophisticated, and modern city\u201d in the British Colonies, with three weekly newspapers that locals devoured at coffeehouses and taverns. These publications ran items advertising rooms to rent, horses for sale and the \u201carrival of tea from the Indies.\u201d Why shouldn\u2019t an eligible bachelor put himself on the market, too?<\/p>\n

It was very difficult to meet someone of the opposite sex in the 18th and 19th centuries. Cities like New York, Philadelphia and Boston were full of recent transplants who couldn\u2019t rely on meeting a potential partner the old-fashioned way, through friends and family. Yet society dictated that \u201crespectable\u201d women avoid public places aside from church. If a man happened to run into a lady at the theater or tavern, he assumed she was a prostitute.<\/p>\n

Things were even more dire out West. During California\u2019s Gold Rush, in the 1840s and \u201950s, men outnumbered women 200 to 1. One bride, who lived in the mining town of Nevada City, Calif., claimed, \u201cThe feminine portion of the population was so small that I have had men come 40 miles over the mountains just to look at me.\u201d (By her own admission, she wasn\u2019t much to look at, either.)<\/p>\n

The only respectable way to get a woman\u2019s attention \u2014 particularly a woman in another city or state \u2014 was to advertise oneself far and wide, in newspapers all over the country.<\/p>\n

Early personal ads did not ask for much. Most aspiring husbands wanted a \u201crespectable,\u201d sometimes \u201camiable\u201d wife of child-bearing age who could do the household chores. Those in further-flung locales settled for whoever they could get. One journalist in 1830s Iowa commented: \u201cSo anxious are our settlers for wives that they never ask a single lady her age. All they require is teeth.\u201d<\/p>\n

By the mid-1800s, however, men in more-settled areas became increasingly demanding.<\/p>\n

Take Peter Cowler. In 1860, the 40-year-old Massachusetts farmer placed an ad looking for a woman with \u201cdark flowing hair, a little mite curly, dimples on her cheeks, mild, gentle, slow, with pleasant eyes looking out of her head.\u201d He added, \u201cI don\u2019t want a glass-eyed or lantern-jawed woman, one that is as cross as blazes and gads about, gossiping and making mischief all over town.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another ad, from 1861, had these exacting requirements for a wife: \u201cWeight, between 100 and 135 pounds; height, between five feet and five feet six inches; teeth regular, perfect and genuine \u2026 black hair and eyes preferred, though blue eyes and auburn hair might be acceptable.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"One
\u201cA.B.\u201d posted one of the first personal ads in July 1788, seeking a \u201cmaid or widow \u2026 under 40, not deformed.\u201d Some things never change!<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

One man in 1840s Philadelphia, meanwhile, insisted his future wife know how to sing his favorite songs, \u201cHome Sweet Home\u201d and \u201cShare My Cottage,\u201d but \u201cmust not allow her voice to reach as high as \u2018Marble Halls.\u2019\u2009\u201d<\/p>\n

As for why women would ever respond to these insufferable-sounding blokes? Their options were severely limited. Often the only way to get any kind of money \u2014 and independence from their parents \u2014 was through marriage.<\/p>\n

And ladies placed ads looking for husbands, as well. One lady looking for a spouse wrote that the successful candidate should \u201cabove all have a love of a mustache.\u201d Another said she preferred an \u201celderly\u201d gentleman because she would \u201crather be an old man\u2019s darling than a young man\u2019s slave.\u201d One free spirit wanted \u201ca practical anti-slavery man\u201d who wouldn\u2019t mind that she wore bloomers.<\/p>\n

The goal of these ads was, traditionally, matrimony. But that began to change in the 1870s. Soon, phrases such as \u201cobject: fun\u201d began appearing at the end of advertisements. These more casual, sometimes racy write-ups didn\u2019t mention marriage at all, like the one from a 20-year-old woman looking for \u201ca nice middle-aged man of means; object, pleasure during the summer months\u201d; or one penned by a \u201cgay and festive young lady, a stranger in the city\u201d who wished \u201cto make the acquaintance of the handsomest young gentleman in Cincinnati.\u201d<\/p>\n

Entire publications devoted to nothing but marriage ads sprouted in the 1860s and \u201970s, including Matrimonial News, Matrimonial Reporter and the Matrimonial Advocate. As settlers moved west, they began advertising for wives in publications across the country, hoping to entice bored, restless young girls out East to head to the frontier in search of adventure and romance.<\/p>\n

\u2018I don\u2019t want a glass-eyed or lantern-jawed woman, one that is as cross as blazes and gads about, gossiping and making mischief all over town.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u00a0–\u00a0Personal ad from Peter Cowler, a 40-year-old Massachusetts farmer seeking a mate in 1860<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Out in Arizona, six black miners\u2019 wives placed ads in African-American newspapers across the Eastern seaboard, \u201choping to persuade others to join them and increase the racial diversity on the frontier.\u201d (Aside from this example, there are not a lot of personal ads from minority groups, likely, writes Beauman, due to \u201clack of money, lack of time, and, of course, lack of actual freedom for African-Americans prior to the emancipation in 1865.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Of course, not all marriage ads ended happily ever after.<\/p>\n

In 1915, Nellie Blattenburg married William Wepsala, the widow she had met through a personal ad just two months before. Though her middle-aged suitor had bragged that he had a 320-acre farm and described himself as \u201cambitious,\u201d after their wedding, he kept \u201cborrowing\u201d money from his bride, and she began to suspect that he wasn\u2019t going to pay her back. The union barely lasted a year.<\/p>\n

Blattenburg was lucky. In 1898, Texas authorities arrested Lulu Raines, whose fraudulent ads, placed in newspapers throughout the state, swindled men out of a collective $7,000 in cash and $3,000 in jewelry in just six months. Around the same time, the so-called One-Arm Bigamist, as the papers dubbed him, answered ads from lonely widows and absconded with their life savings.<\/p>\n

And then there was Belle Gunness, America\u2019s most prolific female serial killer, who murdered nearly 40 men by luring them to her Indiana farmhouse with personal ads in newspapers throughout the Midwest. The bodies were discovered in 1908, after Gunness\u2019 home burned down; she was never found.<\/p>\n

The spate of personal-ads-gone-wrong coincided with a change in courtship rituals at the turn of the 20th century. Suddenly, young men and women had a lot more opportunities to social<\/a>ize unchaperoned \u2014 thanks to movie theaters, dance halls, cars and a growing number of students attending college. By 1927, the majority of colleges were co-ed, \u201cmaking [them] a great place to meet your future husband and wife,\u201d writes Beauman.<\/p>\n

By the 1930s and into the \u201950s, only the men\u2019s Saturday Review and \u201ca few pornographic magazines\u201d carried personal ads.<\/p>\n

\"Matrimony,<\/p>\n

One would think that the sexual revolution of the 1960s would have killed personal ads once and for all. The pill, \u201cthe widespread deferment of marriage, the increased number of women in the workforce and the expansion of gay rights\u201d all \u201ccontributed to the merry collapse of many of the conventions of matchmaking,\u201d writes Beauman. But these developments actually drove those looking for a romantic or sexual partner back to the advertisements, either because people began seeking out more niche, alternative arrangements or felt overwhelmed by choice.<\/p>\n

The Village Voice began running personals in the 1960s, while the New York Review of Books launched their personals column in 1968. Swingers could find advertisements for \u201cbroad-minded couples\u201d in the San Francisco Chronicle, as well as other, more niche publications. Ads for men seeking men \u2014 or women seeking women \u2014 began popping up in gay publications and pamphlets.<\/p>\n

The first computer dating site, Operation Match, launched in 1965, with Internet dating sites appearing 30 years later, relying on algorithms and other methods to filter and sort potential paramours. Then came Tinder, a location-based dating app that allows users to make rapid judgements on suitors based entirely on looks. \u201cA whole world of single men and women is now easily accessible from the dinky device in your back pocket,\u201d writes Beauman.<\/p>\n

The smartphone has revolutionized matchmaking \u2014 to a point. While advertising for love is easier, faster, more foolproof and more democratic than ever before, so much of it remains the same. As Beauman writes: \u201cPeople still lie, claiming they earn more than they do, weigh less than they do, or are younger than they are. People still seek access to the lonely and the vulnerable in order to commit crimes.\u201d<\/p>\n

And \u201cpeople still fall back on many of the same broad criteria when picking a long-term heterosexual partner.\u201d<\/p>\n

In other words: Despite all our changing attitudes about marriage, gender and sexuality, most men want a woman who is young and hot and fertile while most women want a man who is rugged and financially stable. It is why, statistically, a gal who posts a photo of herself doing yoga on the beach will receive more matches than one who poses with a drink in hand; or why a man who poses for his profile pic with a dog increases his chance for success.<\/p>\n

In this light, A.B.\u2019s 250-year-old plea for a lady \u201cunder 40, not deformed, and in possession of at least one thousand pounds\u201d doesn\u2019t seem so funny or weird after all. It\u2019s just an antiquated way of saying \u201c20-something, slim and ambitious.\u201d The more things change, the more they stay the same.\n <\/p><\/div>\n

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Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“#How the first personal ads eventually evolved into\u00a0Tinder” It was the summer of 1778, and 22-year-old A.B. had just moved to Manhattan. New York was bustling \u2014 business was booming and debates were raging over whether the state should ratify the new nation\u2019s constitution. But A.B. was terribly lonely. He had few acquaintances in the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":81077,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/10\/dating-then-now.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=1200","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[74128,70706,3418,74164,21087],"class_list":["post-81076","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-10-3-20","tag-dating","tag-love","tag-marriage","tag-tinder"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81076","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=81076"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81076\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/81077"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=81076"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=81076"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=81076"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}