{"id":82401,"date":"2020-10-05T22:49:03","date_gmt":"2020-10-05T19:49:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/"},"modified":"2020-10-05T22:49:03","modified_gmt":"2020-10-05T19:49:03","slug":"the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/","title":{"rendered":"#The best jokes about NYC from Jerry Seinfeld&#8217;s book"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-custom ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<label for=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a38441f92194\" class=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-label\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #dd3333;color:#dd3333\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/label><input type=\"checkbox\"  id=\"ez-toc-cssicon-toggle-item-6a38441f92194\" checked aria-label=\"Toggle\" \/><nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/#NYC_Awnings\" >NYC Awnings<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/#The_NY_Faux_Courtesy_Jog\" >The NY Faux Courtesy Jog<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/#NYC_Cabs\" >NYC Cabs<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/#Were_Living_in_Filth\" >We\u2019re Living in Filth<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/#Were_Living_in_Filth_continued\" >We\u2019re Living in Filth (continued)<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/#In_the_City_On_the_Island\" >In the City, On the Island<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<p>&#8220;<strong>#The best jokes about NYC from Jerry Seinfeld&#8217;s book<\/strong>&#8221;<\/p>\n<div>\n                        Jerry Seinfeld has a new book about nothing.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<a rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/This-Anything-Jerry-Seinfeld\/dp\/1982112697?tag=nypost-20\">Is This Anything?<\/a>\u201d \u2014 out Oct. 6 from Simon &amp; Schuster \u2014 charts the Long Islander\u2019s path to success, almost exclusively through bits and one-liners, from his first set in 1976, at the Catch a Rising Star comedy club (he lasted on stage for about 90 seconds), to his \u201cSeinfeld\u201d pitch meeting in the late \u201980s at NBC with Larry David (the latter\u2019s combativeness would eventually get him banned from network meetings).<\/p>\n<p>In the book, Seinfeld compares the end of the nine-season <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/watch-movies-tv-seriess\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"8\" title=\"Watch Movies &amp; TV Series\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">series<\/a> run with crossing the finish line of a marathon, totally exhausted. \u201cObviously, that was worth it. But also\u2009.\u2009.\u2009.\u2009a ridiculously long run,\u201d he writes. By this point, the car-obsessive has gone from talking bumper cars to joking about his \u201989 Porsche 911 Speedster. (An avid collector, he\u2019s owned dozens of Porsches over the years.)<\/p>\n<p>Although the 66-year-old no longer spends his days watching the \u201cEd Sullivan Show\u201d while eating a bowl of cereal on his apartment floor, he claims his creative process has hardly changed.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_16403007\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img class=\"size-nypost-inline-default wp-image-16403007 lazyload\" alt=\"&quot;Is This Anything?&quot; by Jerry Seinfeld.\" width=\"300\" height=\"450\" srcset=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/10\/jerry-seinfeld-is-this-anything.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=300 300w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/10\/jerry-seinfeld-is-this-anything.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=640 640w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/10\/jerry-seinfeld-is-this-anything.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=1280 1280w, https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/10\/jerry-seinfeld-is-this-anything.jpg?quality=90&amp;strip=all&amp;w=600 600w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 300px\"\/><figcaption class=\"wp-caption-text\"><span>\u201cIs This Anything?\u201d by Jerry Seinfeld.<\/span><span class=\"credit\">Courtesy<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>The co<a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/social-mediaa\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"1\" title=\"Social Media\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">media<\/a>n still jots down funny bits on a yellow legal pad and keeps them filed in \u201cold-school accordion folders.\u201d And he still goes to comedy clubs \u2014 at least when the pandemic hasn\u2019t shuttered them \u2014 to try out new material.<\/p>\n<p>He\u2019s also still using NYC as his source material. The comedian recently locked horns with James Altucher, who co-owns the Stand Up NY comedy club, over whether \u201cNYC Is Dead\u201d in the wake of the coronavirus lockdown.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a sampling of Seinfeld\u2019s best bits, occasionally condensed for space, about the city \u2014 he\u2019s got thousands of pages worth of material, edited down to just 450 pages in his new book \u2014 since his comedy-club debut 44 years ago.<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"NYC_Awnings\"><\/span><strong>NYC Awnings<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cHere\u2019s a sentence no one has ever said in the history of New York City: \u2018Hey, maybe we should get a new awning? The one we have is holding 6 pounds of bird crap, has 12 rips in it, 11 areas where the metal frame is exposed. Maybe it makes sense to invest $200 into the entire public <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/download-scripts-themes-apps\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"9\" title=\"Download Scripts &amp; Themes &amp; Apps\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">app<\/a>earance of our business?\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Nah, I say we keep this one. It\u2019s a better way to silently express how much we hate ourselves and everyone that\u2019s stupid enough to come in here.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Yeah, you\u2019re right. Let\u2019s leave it.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_NY_Faux_Courtesy_Jog\"><\/span><strong>The NY Faux Courtesy Jog<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cIn NY, if a pedestrian is crossing in front of your car, and the light changes, and it\u2019s actually your turn to go, they won\u2019t hurry up. They will raise their elbows, as they walk. So it appears that they\u2019re moving faster, but they\u2019re not. It\u2019s a \u2018faux courtesy jog.\u2019<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s just to give you a visual sense of what it would look like, if someone were to be in a hurry. But they are not.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"NYC_Cabs\"><\/span><strong>NYC Cabs<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cThe average New York cab ride is still one of the most exciting experiences in the city. These guys take chances with your life for 5 bucks that you wouldn\u2019t take for 5 million.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Were_Living_in_Filth\"><\/span><strong>We\u2019re Living in Filth<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cWhen you step in gum on the sidewalk and that gum sticks to the bottom of your shoe for a couple blocks, whatever that gum picks up is the only cleaning of anything in New York City.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!--If the slideshow is embedded in another post type add the inline wrapper --><\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Were_Living_in_Filth_continued\"><\/span><strong>We\u2019re Living in Filth (continued)<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cWhat about those street-cleaning machines you see all the time around the city? With the giant blow-out hair brush at the front?<\/p>\n<p>Does anyone think those things are actually cleaning the street? Do they think they are? Or are they laughing their asses off inside there?<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Hey, clear all the parked cars out of the way, everybody! So we can come through and make a really loud annoying hissing sound followed by a little piss trail of water out the back which completes our \u201cDoing absolutely nothing\u201d process.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n<h2><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"In_the_City_On_the_Island\"><\/span><strong>In the City, On the Island<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p>\u201cI was born in Brooklyn. We lived in the city. Then my parents decided they wanted to move out of the city and live on Long Island. You live IN the city. But if you decide to move out, you will be ON Long Island.<\/p>\n<p>You don\u2019t live IN Long Island. You can\u2019t get IN it. You just stay ON it. If you go to Jersey, you\u2019ll say, \u2018We\u2019re OUT in Jersey. We\u2019re OUT. We couldn\u2019t make it in the city. Sometimes we go DOWN the shore. We\u2019re DOWN and OUT.\u2019 \u201c\n            <\/p><\/div>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">For forums sites go to <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/forum.buradabiliyorum.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Forum.BuradaBiliyorum.Com<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<blockquote>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>If you want to read more <a href=\"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/category\/news\/\" data-internallinksmanager029f6b8e52c=\"2\" title=\"News\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">News<\/a> articles, you can visit our <span style=\"color: #ff9900;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/en.buradabiliyorum.com\/news\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">News category.<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p><span style=\"color: black;\"><a style=\"color: #ff9900;\" href=\"https:\/\/nypost.com\/2020\/10\/05\/the-best-jokes-about-nyc-from-jerry-seinfelds-book\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Source<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;#The best jokes about NYC from Jerry Seinfeld&#8217;s book&#8221; Jerry Seinfeld has a new book about nothing. \u201cIs This Anything?\u201d \u2014 out Oct. 6 from Simon &amp; Schuster \u2014 charts the Long Islander\u2019s path to success, almost exclusively through bits and one-liners, from his first set in 1976, at the Catch a Rising Star comedy&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":82402,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/nypost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2020\/10\/jerry-seinfeld-5.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=1200","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[70897],"tags":[74353,73370,74439,74440,86,72488,71562,26810],"class_list":["post-82401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news","tag-10-5-20","tag-celebrity-memoirs","tag-comedian","tag-comedians","tag-comedy","tag-jerry-seinfeld","tag-memoirs","tag-seinfeld"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=82401"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/82401\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/82402"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=82401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=82401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/buradabiliyorum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=82401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}