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“#Bet on Nathan Eovaldi in this spot” Like them or not, you gotta admit the Brothers Fredo keep bringing it, don’t they? If this Cuomo family name tarnishing persists, Governor Vax and Scratch, under his brother’s advice, will have no choice but to change the moniker on the bridge back to Tappan Zee … before…
“#Nationals vs. Cubs prediction: Adbert Alzolay proves reliable” Attention criminals, lawbreakers, delinquents and thieves. The New York City subway system is back and running 24 hours a day. You’re welcome. Love, Mayor de Blasio. … Recent history tells us horse-racing winners are like Tour de France winners, so we cashed our big hit on Rombauer…
“#Cubs vs. Tigers prediction: Hendricks will rock Motown” Weird Science. President Biden, on the advice of scientists’ numbers: “If fully vaccinated, take your mask off. You’ve earned the right to do something that Americans are known for all around the world. Greeting others with a smile.” Hmmm. The 2021 World Happiness Report is out, and…
“#Giants vs. Pirates prediction: Pittsburgh the pick” Now that’s incentive! Mayor de Blasio is offering some more free gifts to New Yorkers if they get vaccinated. In addition to free Shake Shack french fries, you can get a free tank of gas to offset the pipeline shortage (at participating stations only) and free bulletproof vests…
“#Blue Jays vs. Braves prediction: Bet on Ross Stripling” Hey Walt, you’re next. Cancel culture has moved from Dr. Seuss to Disney. “Snow White” is under attack. When Prince Charming kisses the poisoned White to wake her from her comatose state, the unvaxxed, pervy Prince did it without her consent. In the reimagined ending, Snow,…
“#Matt Harvey will beat his old team” Good news for Justin Bieber. The FDA has approved Pfizer vaccines for ages 12 to 15! And Mayor de Blasio said those that have been vaccinated can receive two free weeks of Citi Bike membership. Good news for Lance Armstrong, who knows a thing or two about booster…
“#Luis Castillo will rebound for Cincinnati” If you thought we got off to a bad start, check out the line on Cincinnati’s Luis Castillo’s Opening Day performance against St. Louis. The Cardinals ruffled his feathers for eight runs on eight hits, walked two and struck out no one over 3 ¹/₃ ineffective innings, leaving the…
“#Clayton Kershaw will put LA over the top” “You may be right, I may be crazy.” Singing along with Billy Joel after telling friends/foes that the Dodgers beat a better team in the NLCS than the one they’ll face in the World Series. Crazy? Sure. But thought the Braves were that good. LA and Tampa…
“#North Carolina vs. Virginia Tech prediction: Tar Heels the pick” A new world record was recorded for the fastest garbage bin. The can was clocked at 43 mph. Still not fast enough for Steve Cohen, who is hoping to clean house as quickly as possible. Waiting for the League Championship Series to commence. We head…
“#Bet Chicago in must-win MLB playoff game” Feeling better America? Hey kids will be kids. The next presidential debate between Donny and Joey will be televised exclusively on Nickelodeon. Moderated by Honey Boo Boo. Sponsored by Playskool. Reader Jimmy Durda: Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing program. The evangelist called all who want to…