Awards season. Pee on the Oscars. Poo on the Golden Globes. But pop goes the National Board of Review.

Host, Craig Melvin. Who knew NBC News paid this much. His tie cost more than the Cipriani rental.

Kenneth Branagh, up for every award this side of Killarney: “I’m surprised at its enormous reaction. I directed ‘Belfast,’ a chapter in my life, from the heart. Living through what I did changed my life.

“Its human cost was heavy. Human beings are the first to suffer. Like in Ukraine. You see neighbors suffering. The living’s intense. What must happen instead is dialogue. A sit-down. Discuss each side. Hear each other’s arguments, needs. Put yourself in another’s shoes. Know other people are different. Attack segregation. It’s never been more necessary.

“Just now Northern Ireland, for the first time in all these years, has made it a law. Just days ago. They just put into law that young children may learn in integrated schools between Catholics and Protestants. They just did it right now after all these years.”

Will Smith, whom everyone figured a winner for “King Richard,” hugged Tony Shalhoub as in came Aunjanue ­Ellis with: “My role in ‘King Richard’ was not easy to get. I didn’t even know Will Smith, one of the world’s most famous people, when I came to audition to play the wife. I wanted the part but was nervous. They looked for people more famous than me, but I knew I’d gotten it!”

Zazie Beetz from Netflix’s “The Harder They Fall” showed and Will Wilbur, sitting alongside me to decipher who was what, murmured: “I see her on the subway going downtown from 116th.” Me, busy scribbling that down, missed Spike Lee, in white-rimmed eyeglasses slither by.

Overheard between pros: “How possibly can the Oscars not show all these artists and people behind the scenes when they’re the ones who support the whole industry?” No other voice was heard to say: “Because otherwise the stupid endless boring Oscars stay stupid endless and boring.”

“Attica” director Stanley Nelson: “I knew about this rebellion. I thought about the story for 30 years. I know the untold background of these prisons. I wanted to tell it.”

“West Side Story’s” Ilda and Jeanette waltzed by in heavily embroidered Naeem Khan gowns, “which go back to the stylist in the morning.” Question: These two beauties nominated for something? Answer: “No. But Disney bought a table and they have to fill it.”

“Belfast’s” Ciarán Hinds, up for the evening’s best-supporting actor: “I grew up in Belfast. Born ’53, left ’73 for theater training. What happened to us was in ’69. Hard to believe we made what we thought’s a small story. Watching, listening to it, amazing to see what became of it.”

Pre-pandemic, NYC’s jammed National Board of Review was always first of the award evenings. Now, after two years discontinuance, there were no masks, fewer tables and said president Annie Schulhof: “I checked with virologists, immunologists, neurologists, every kind of ologist before committing to it.”

Last time she wore Tom Ford’s suit. This time Thom Browne’s suit. Annie’s Tom-Tom beat goes on forever.

Prez-enting

Speaking of awards, President Joe has blubbered that his closest adviser is his wife. Oh, great. United States of America, greatest nation on Earth, run by a middle-ager with straggly unkempt yellow hair, crappy flower printed dresses — and in top-of-the-line cutting-edge Delaware yet.

How’s that for a keen, top-of-the-line, razor-sharp thinker to handle Russia?

Better yet, could be hunted Hunter or cackling Kamala.

Continuing my zeal to deliver cutting-edge/top-of-the-line/first time information: Word is what’s left of our former delivery service by regular mail has become too slow. The postmaster general has sent NYC’s main office a letter of complaint. And as soon as it arrives, all hell will break loose.

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.